Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Sorry I'm late, did I miss anything?
抱歉迟到了，有错过什么精彩好戏吗？
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth.
乔伊放了15块奥立奥饼干到嘴里。
Ross: 15? Your personal best!
15块？你的个人记录呀！
Phoebe: So, where were you?
你到哪儿去了？
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met thisthis girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
噢，去赴个约会。那女孩是我在去城郊的博物馆的火车上认识的。
Chandler: Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?
噢是么！你怎么认识她的？
Phoebe: Oh, which museum?
噢，哪个博物馆？
Phoebe: No, answer his.
不用理我，回答他的问题吧。
Ross: Ok, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
好吧，火车后厢就我们两个人，我坐得靠近门一些那么她如果要转车的话，就得从我边上过。她拿我没办法。
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burying this woman?
你就是因为和她神侃才这么迟的？
Ross: No, I'm getting back now because she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but she's like, two and a half hours away.
不是，我赶紧回来了，因为她住在Poughkeepsie（纽约州东南部）。她看上去真的很不错，但是，她只是似~乎~很不错，但是她住在2个半小时的路程之外。
Chandler: How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie? Ok, that joke would've killed in Albany.
她都住在Poughkeepsie了怎么还会很棒？我是说，到Albany（纽约州首府）就没笑话可讲了。
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, who's stupid now huh?
好了！我吃下去了！嘿，现在谁才傻？
Chandler: Hey, look at this! They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
嘿，看这个！他们今晚要点亮这棵大圣诞树！
Phoebe: Umm, that paper's two weeks old.
那是两周前的报纸耶。
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash? ! Aw, I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I can't believe I missed it.
好啊，是谁忘记把旧报纸丢到垃圾箱啦？！我本来想带Kathy去看这个的，没想到竟然错过了。
Rachel: Hey, you know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year!
嘿，你至少还有人可以和你一起“错过”机会但我已经孤独整整一年了！
Next thing you know it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang! before you know it, they're lighting that damn tree again.
接着我又要一个人过情人节、我的生日，然后又是“嗙－－”在你反应过来之前，又是圣诞节了。
Ohh, I want somebody!
噢，我想有人陪！
Rachel: You know, I want a man!
我要个真正的“男人”！！
Rachel: I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big relationship, you know, just like a fling would be great.
哪怕不是正式的交往，而只是“逢场作戏”一次也好。
Chandler: Really? ! I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling.
真的？！我还以为女孩子从来不想搞“一夜情”的呢！
Rachel: Well, let me tell you something, it's been a long time since I've been flung.
我告诉你，我很早以前就来过“一夜情”了！
Joey: Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.
噢，这下我知道圣诞节可以给你什么了。
Chandler: You know what? There's some nice guys at my office, you want me to set you up?
你知道么？我公司里有许多很棒的小伙子，你要我帮你介绍么？
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, it's been a long time that I've been single. How come you never offered this before?
好啊！等等，我已经单身好久了。你从前为什么没提过这事？
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, I'm-I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
我有女朋友了，我很快乐。所以，我不再需要把快乐建筑在他人的痛苦之上了。
Rachel: Ok! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs.
好！不要会计师。噢，也不要律师。我不喜欢那些从事闷蛋工作的人。
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
噢，罗斯的工作不闷蛋么？他是驯兽师么？
All: Hey!
怎么回事？
Phoebe: What's wrong Mon?
莫妮卡，怎么了？
Monica: Ohh, everybody at the restaurant still hates me.
噢，那个餐馆的所有人都恨我。
Joey: Is it because of the review you wrote or something new? It's the review.
是因为你写的评论还是有新的原因？一定是因为那篇评论。
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, and then I get off work and I find out that they wrote this on my chef's hat.
本来我想我的人缘好起来了，今天一整天人们都对我笑我开始工作，然后发现他们在我的厨师帽上写了这个。
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, 'Quiet, bitch.'
也许他们想写：“安静，婊子。”
Rachel: Hey honey! What's the matter? Fine, just trying to be nice! Whoa!
嘿，亲爱的！怎么了？好了，我只是想礼貌的打个招呼！
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since I was in kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me.
自从幼儿园后我就没被这么捉弄过了。他们还找来人监视我。
Joey: Ohhh!
噢！
Monica: I mean they're trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something I've been waiting for my whole life.
他们想尽办法来赶我走如果我对其他什么工作感兴趣的话，我会走。但是这是我一生都想从事的职业。
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, you're the boss! Why don't you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
哦等一下，你才是头儿！为什么你不吼他们，或者解雇他们？
Monica: Oh, I would love too, but I can't! I mean I just can't, you know that I'm not good at confrontation.
我是想这么来着，可是我做不到！我总是在对峙中败下阵来。
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director,
嘿，你知道你该怎么办么？我记得我曾读过一个导演的书－－
I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody.
好像是Orson Wells(“公民凯恩”的导演)，他会在电影开拍的时候雇一个人，然后在大伙面前解雇他
Then they would all know, who is boss.
那样那些人就明白了，谁才是头儿。
Joey: Hey, Mon! I'm not doing anything, why don't you fire me?
嘿，莫妮卡！我正好没事做，要不你开除我？
Monica: It's a good idea! Uh, do you know how to waiter?
好主意，你知道怎么当服务生吗？
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
只要会被解雇不就行了？！
Monica: All right, you're hired!
好，我决定用你了！
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?
嘿！这就是我上个礼拜被炒的原因了！Orson Wells是不是也掌管Burger King（著名汉堡包连锁店）的生意？
Chandler: Yes.
是的。
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm...you know, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay!
我说，德鲁！你现在有没有人约会？哦－呃，我不是想约你，我，我，我不是同性恋，我不是想跟你约会。我不是。不是同性恋！
Drew: I didn't think you were gay. I do now.
我从未以为你是同性恋。但现在就拿不准了。
Chandler: See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she, wants to be set up.
你看，我的朋友瑞秋，她想我帮她介绍个男孩子。
Drew: Ahh, you know, I just got out of a big relationship, I'm not looking for any thing serious.
啊，我刚和一个女孩子分手，我现在不想跟谁交往。
Chandler: Oh, you know what, that might be ok even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
你知道么，哪怕是“逢场作戏”都行，瑞秋也说没问题。
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
喔－啊－！是不是那个“火辣瑞秋”，你曾带到圣诞晚会上的那个？
Chandler: Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
噢，顺便说一下，那是她的“全名”。
Mike: Oh wow! I'm free for her!
噢，喔！我有空！
Drew: Wait a second! I didn't say I wasn't free!
哦，等一下！我又没说我没空！
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why don't we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
嘿，钱德勒，为什么我们不在明天“游骑兵”队的比赛上谈谈这个事呢？
Drew: Hold on, you know I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring 'em by your office around uh, five?
打住！我刚得到一盒古巴雪茄，也许我可以到你那去，跟你一起来一根，5点怎么样？
Chandler: Oh well, that's uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
这个么，我一般都不会留到那个点，但是--没问题！
Mike: Maybe, before the game, we could enjoy some eight year old small batch Basil Hayden's.
也许比赛前，我们可以去享受两瓶8年的Basil Hayden's.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what that is, but uh, that's a pretty nice jacket. Kinda like that tie too. Keep your pants on man!
呃，虽然我不知道那是什么，但是－－我们去吧！！
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, I'm writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you wanna hear it?
嘿！你们几个，我为所有人写了个节日歌。你们想听么？
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yeah! Of course!
好的！
Phoebe: Ok. Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the dreidel, Rachel!
莫妮卡，光明节快乐乔伊，愿你圣诞节瑞雪纷飞钱德、罗斯，新年快乐瑞秋，快来玩陀螺。
Rachel: Pheebs, that's great!
真好听。
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
噢，没错！
Rachel: But you know umm, Rachel doesn't rhyme with dreidel.
但是...，“瑞秋”跟“陀螺”不压韵呀。
Phoebe: I know but it's so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
我知道，但是实在没办法！你的垃圾名字实在很难找压韵的词！
Joey: What're you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Cable. Maypole.
不会呀？“瑞秋”可以跟好多词压韵啊。象：“Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.”(百吉饼、邮件、监狱、能够、五月柱)
Phoebe: All good, thanks. Uh, do you maybe have like a nickname that's easier to rhyme?
都不错，谢谢。你有没有小名或者比较好压韵的称号什么的？
Monica: Oh, didn't your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
你爸以前 不是常叫你小南瓜吗？
Rachel: Oh yeah!
噢，对，没错！
Phoebe: Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph?
小南瓜不错 但他有没有叫过你布道夫？
Chandler: Hello, children!
大家好！
All: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler: Have I got the 50 guys for you!
我给你找了50个候选男子！
Rachel: Really? !
真的么？
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed them this picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! They're buying me drinks! They're giving me stuff!
是的，我只不过是亮了一下你的靓照，结果他们全都蜂拥而至！他们又是请我喝酒，又是送我东西！
Knicks tonight?
今晚看球赛去？
Joey: Sure! Where are the seats?
当然，第几排？
Chandler: Wherever! I've got like 20!
随你挑，我有20张票。
Rachel: So will I like any of these guys?
那么，他们中有没有适合我的？
Chandler: Well you know what, I'm gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
你知道的，我让你可以两脚踏好多条船，所以都没拒绝。
Rachel: Chandler!
钱德勒！
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401s to me.
他们甚至把401-k（养老基金）受益人都填成我啦！
Phoebe: You-you work with robots? !
你和一大堆机器人(不要养老金)工作？！
Chandler: Yes. Ok, there's this one guy, Patrick, I think you'll like him, he's really nice, he's funny, he's a swimmer.
你说的对。好，其中有个叫Patrick的小伙，我想你应该会喜欢他，他很棒，很风趣，而且还是个游泳健将！
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmer's bodies!
噢，游泳健将的身材可是一级棒！
Chandler: Oh, yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on credit cards.
是的，而且他老爸就是发明信用卡背面的识别磁条的。
Rachel: Oh, I like credit cards!
我也爱死信用卡了。
Chandler: See, I'm not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
你看，这事我办得不错吧？
Rachel: Well, so what does he do?
那他是干什么工作的？
Chandler: He works in the Fine Foods division.
他在精炼食品部门工作。
Rachel: Your company has a fine foods division?
你公司还做精炼食品？
Chandler: It's a big company, I don't- if you- I...
这可是家大公司，可不是么？如果你？我......
Joey: Now, wait a second! You make food and robots?
等等！你公司又做精炼食品又做机器人？
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
不是！不是，机器人是帮忙工作的。
Monica: All right, I'm gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
我要去工作了，有人有意见吗？
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
是的，女士，我有意见，我很有意见！
Monica: You want a problem? I'll give you a problem!
你有意见？那我就让你头疼不已！
Joey: Oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me?
你想怎样？开除我？
Monica: You bet your ass, I'm gonna fire you! See you later.
你个蠢驴，我解雇你了！
Joey: Thanks.
谢谢。
Ross: Oh, wow! I should get going. I've-I've got a date tonight.
噢，喔！我得走了，我今晚还有个约会。
Chandler: Oh yeah! With who?
跟谁？
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
还记得我上次跟你提过的那个住在Poughkeepsie的女孩么？
Chandler: Yeah.
嗯。
Ross: Yeah. Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I met, and I-I can't decide between the two of them.
不是她。是我另外碰到的，而我无法在这两个女孩中取舍。
You know the one from Poughkeepsie, even though she's a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun.
那个住在Poughkeepsie的女孩，虽然得坐两个小时火车才能看到她，但她漂亮、聪明，而且佷风趣。
But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. You know she's, well she's-she's just as pretty, I guess she's smart, she's not fun.
但是另外那个，她就住在城里的住宅区。她也佷漂亮，可能聪明，但是一点也不风趣。
Phoebe: She's no fun, why do you wanna date her at all?
既然她一点也不风趣，那你干嘛还跟她约会？
Ross: Well, I-I wanna give her another chance, you know? She lives so close.
我想再给她一个机会，对吧？她住的这么近。
And, at the end of the date, the-the other time, she-she said something that was- if she was kidding was very funny.
而且上次约会的最后，另一次，她曾说了些...如果她是在开玩笑的话，那她就佷风趣。
On the other hand, if she wasn't kidding, she's not fun, she's stupid, and kind of a racist.
但如果她不是开玩笑的话，她就不风趣，而且愚蠢，还有点种族主义了
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler: Hey man!
嘿，伙计！
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, how was your first day working at the restaurant?
嘿！噢，你到餐馆工作的第一天怎么样啊？
Joey: Damn!
糟糕！
Joey: Hey.
嘿。
Monica: Hey.
嘿。
Joey: Oh, what happened to your fancy chef's jacket?
哦，你最喜欢的主厨服怎么了？
Monica: They baked it. I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna call a meeting and I'm gonna fire you tonight.
他们烘烤过。我无法再忍受了。我今晚要开个会然后把你解雇，杀鸡给猴看。
Joey: You got it! Oh! oh!
对了，就这样。噢～～
Monica: What're you doing? !
你在干嘛？
Joey: It's still a tiny bit on fire there.
那里还有点火。
Monica: Oh. Could you, please- I think you got it!
谢谢！我想够了！
Rachel: Chandler! ! You have the best taste in men!
钱德，你对男人的品味一流。
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.
虎父无犬子嘛。
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
帕提克和我昨晚玩的很开心！我想现在可以转入正式交往了。
Chandler: Really? ! I-I thought you weren't even looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for something kind of a fling.
是么？！你好像不是想要跟谁交往的呀？我记得你只是想“放荡”一下而已。
Rachel: Well, you know, possibly. You didn't tell him that, though? Right?
噢，好像是这么回事。你没有把这个告诉他吧？
Chandler: Ummmmmmmm, no.
呣～～～，我已经说了。
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling? ! You don't tell the guy that!
你告诉他我只是想搞“一夜情”？！你怎能告诉他这个啊！！
Chandler: Why not? ! I'd be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to get- oh I see.
为什么不能？！如果我知道那个火辣的女孩想要“那个”，我会兴奋得直发抖！噢，我明白了。
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first date- oh he's so gonna get the wrong idea.
噢，我该怎么办？你告诉他我想“一夜情”，而我想跟他长期交往。他完全会错意了。
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
乔伊，把乳酪拿来好吗？
Joey: Yeah. Listen, uh, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me Joey. 'Cause since I don't know anyone here, I thought it might be fun to try out a cool work nickname.
好的。我想你还是别叫我乔伊的好。因为这没人认识我，所以我想试试取个酷点的工作昵称。
A Waiter: Hey, Dragon! Here's your tips for Monday and Tuesday.
嘿，“龙”！这是你周一和周二的小费。
Joey: Looks like there's like 300 bucks in this one!
天啊，有三百块耶。
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
是的，人们在节假日里总是佷慷慨的。所以穿紧身裤也是值得的。
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonight's specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bag—Why is nobody writing these down?
好。侍应生集合一下，我交代一下今晚的特价菜这样，首先是用芒果佐味的智利黑鲈为什么没人用笔记一下？
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
因为我们能记住。
Monica: Because you're all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook 'em like you did the other night?
因为你们这样就能象以前一样，自己捏造假的特价菜，然后让我来弄么？
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
哦，没错，也有因为这个原因。
Monica: Ok, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, uh here-here's the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere...
好吧，先把特价菜放到一边。这事好办，在过去的两周里，我努力试图营造一种友好的气氛......
The Waiter: Can't hear you!
听不到！
Monica: Positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here.
一种友好的气氛！但是我现在对此不抱希望了。
From now on, it is going to be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that? !
从现在开始，要么按我说得去做，要么就滚蛋！有没有问题？有没有人有意见的？！！