Chandler: Wow. That ripped. That ripped real nice!
哇，撕破了，撕的真不错！
Joey: How many times I have to tell you? You, turn and slide. You know, turn and slide.
告诉你多少次啦？你得侧身滑出来，侧身滑出来。
Chandler: Oh, You don't turn and slide. You throw it out! I'm tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed.
不是侧身滑出来，是把它扔出去！我厌倦了每次穿衣服都得打破伤风针。
Joey: Well, we're not throwing it out. I built this thing with my own hands!
我们不能扔掉啊，这是我亲手做的！
Chandler: All right, how about we, how about we sell it?
好吧，那卖掉怎么样？
Joey: All right. But, you're gonna have to tell them.
可以，不过你得告诉它们。
Chandler: You mind if we stick you in a different cabinet? They seem all right with it!
你们介意搬进另一个橱柜吗？看来它们没意见！
Ross: Hey, why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
鸡为什么从树下掉下来？
Monica: Why?
为什么？
Ross: Because you have doody on your head. Yeah, it was funnier when Ben told it.
因为你头上有鸡屎。好吧，本说就很好笑。
Chip: Hey, Monica. It's Chip.
喂，莫妮卡，我是奇普。
Monica: Yes!
太棒了！
Ross: Who's Chip?
谁是奇普？
Monica: Shhh!
嘘！
Chip: Good running into you at the bank today, so ah, here's my number, 555-9323. Give me a call, Later.
很高兴今天在银行碰见你，我的电话是5559323，待会给我打电话吧。
Monica: "Chip", is Chip Matthews.
奇普，就是奇普·马修斯。
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why's he calling you?
那个带瑞秋去舞会的男人？他打给你干什么？
Monica: Because I ran into him at the bank, he is still so cute.
因为我在银行遇见他了，他还是好帅。
Ross: Monica, you're so lucky! He's like the most popular guy in school!
莫妮卡你好幸运！他是全校最红的男生！
Monica: I know!
我知道啦！
Monica: Chip? Hi, it's Monica. Okey, Okey...Okey...Okey, Goodbye. Oh, my God! We just had the best conversation!
奇普吗？我是莫妮卡。好…好...好...好，再见。天哪，我们刚才聊得太开心啦！
Ross: I was just leaving.
我正要走。
Rachel: Good. Cause I've got a product report to read, it's like eight pages, I hope I don't fall asleep.
好。我要看一份生产报告，好像有八页，我希望我不会睡着。
Ross: Why? Did you write it?
为什么？是你写的？
Rachel: Wow! Look at that! Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants.
哇！看看！奇普·马修斯刚来电话喽。他想怎样呢？
Ross: Well ah, actually...
其实
Rachel: I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy.
其实，我打赌他感觉到我正准备和其他男人"嘿咻"。
Ross: Well umm, why don't you give him a call?
好啊，你还不给他回个电话？
Rachel: Okey. Are you sure you wanna hear this?
好啊。你真的想听？
Ross: Oh, I'm sure.
真的。
Rachel: Chip! Hi, it's Rachel. Rachel Greene. You left me a message? Yes, you did. My roommate wrote it down. Monica Geller? Ohh.
奇普！我是瑞秋。瑞秋·格林。你给我留言了？没错，是你，我的室友记下来了。莫妮卡·盖勒？哦。
Ross: Oh, that's right! He called to ask out Monica. That-that's gotta be embarrassing.
哦，对了！原来人家是要约莫妮卡。好尴尬呀。
Phoebe: Dumb drunken bitch! !! Thank you! thanks.
愚蠢的酒鬼贱人！谢谢，谢谢。
Ross: Hey, here's a question, where did you get the "finest oak east of the Mississippi"?
请问一下，你们在哪找到密西西比河以东最好的橡木？
Chandler: Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land.
那，你先告诉我们在哪找到全国最漂亮的带子？
Ross: I'm reading your ad.
我在看你们的广告。
Joey: Looks good, uh?
不赖吧？
Ross: Yeah.
是啊。
Chandler:"Stunning entertainment center, fine...fine ltalian craftsmanship."
"高级视听电视柜，精致…精致的意大利手工。"
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
天哪，你们要卖电视柜？
Rachel: Why? I love that thing.
为什么？我喜欢那个柜子。
Chandler: You want it?
你们要吗？
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
不要。
Chandler: Ahh, "Gepetto"? "Five thousand dollars"? Are you insane?
"名家巧手"？"定价5千"？你疯了吗？
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks.
嘿，登广告就要3百。
Chandler: All right, look, I'm changing it to $50 dollars or your best offer.
好吧，我要改成50元或者你出更好的价？
Joey: What kind of profit is that? And you call yourself an accountant?
那有什么利润可言？亏你还自称会计师呢？
Chandler: No.
我不是。
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
哦，那你是干什么的？
Chandler: I can't believe you don't know what I do for a living.
真不敢相信你居然不知道我是干什么的。
Phoebe: I actually don't know...
我也不知道
Ross: Still, to go or anything...
对，我也是。
Rachel: Yeah. Something to do with numbers?
是啊。是跟数字有关的吧？
Phoebe: Oh, my God, no! Shoo, kitty! No, no. Gunther, Gunther, there's a kitty in my guitar case.
天哪，不要！猫咪不要！别别。甘瑟，一只猫进我的吉他箱里了。
Gunther: Shh...Everyone's gonna want one.
嘘 大家都想要只猫。
Phoebe: Come on, you! Come on. Crazy! Oh, my God!
快过来。真是的！天哪！
Rachel: What?
怎么了？
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
没事。
Joey: What? What's wrong?
怎么了？
Phoebe: I just...I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my mother.
我只是，我只是有一股强烈的感觉，这只猫是我妈妈。
Rachel: You mean the mommy you met in Montauk? She was a cat?
你的意思是你在蒙塔克遇见的母亲是一只猫？
Chandler: That makes the fact that she owns beach-front property all the more impressive.
这么一来她那滨海房产显得更瞩目了。
Phoebe: No, no-no, She was a human lady. This is the spirit of my mom, Lilly. The one that killed herself.
不，她是一个女人。这是莉莉妈妈的灵魂，自杀的那个。
Ross: Are you sure she's in a cat? Or have you been taking your grandma's glaucoma medicine again?
你确定她附体于猫吗？还是你又偷吃外婆的青光眼药了？
Phoebe: No, Dr. Skeptismo. I'm sure. First of all, okay, there's the feeling.
我没吃药，疑心博士。我很肯定。第一，我有这个感觉。
Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt.
还有，她跑进我的吉他盒里，它的衬里是橘色的。
My mother's favorite fish was Orange Roughy. Cats like fish.
我妈妈最喜欢的鱼是橘棘鲷（又名罗非鱼）。而猫喜欢吃鱼。
Ross: You had me with orange felt.
橙色衬里的吉他盒子的事实。
Phoebe: Hi, Mommy! Oh, I haven't seen this smile in 17 years.
嗨，妈咪！哦，我17年没看到这个笑容了。
Joey: Dude, Phoebe's mom's got a huge peni...
老兄，菲比的妈妈有一个好大的
Chandler: Let it go!
快别说了！
Monica: Hey!
嗨！
Rachel: Umm, when were you gonna tell me that you're going out with Chip Matthwes?
嗯，你原打算何时告诉我你要跟奇普·马修斯约会？
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
现在？我跟他约会没关系吧？
Rachel: Nooo. It's not okay! I can't believe you'd want to after what he did to me.
当然有关系。之前他那样对我，你还对他有期待。
Monica: What, that little thing at the prom?
怎么了，你是说舞会那点事？
Rachel: Monica, I couldn't find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welsh!
莫妮卡，我2个小时找不到他！他却跑去跟艾米·韦尔奇做爱！
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school. How could that still bother you?
行啦，那是高中的事了。你怎么还在纠结？
Rachel: Oh, yeah, you're right, Moni-cow.
哦说得也是，莫母牛。
Monica: Okay, I hear you.
行，我懂了。
Rachel: I mean why, of all people do you have to go out with Chip?
我是说，你为什么偏要跟奇普约会？
Monica: Look, you and I went to different high schools.
你跟我的高中不一样。
Rachel: That doesn't help me, because we went to the same high school.
我没懂，我们上同一所高中啊。
Monica: You went to one where you were popular. You got to ride off on Chip's motorcycle and wear his letterman jacket.
你在高中生活是做风云人物，坐奇普的摩托车兜风，穿他的优秀运动员选手外套。
I went to one where I wore a band uniform they'd to have specially made.
而我的高中生活是穿专做的大码乐队制服。
Rachel: They had to have that specially made?
那是特制的？
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
那是家政课专门制作的。
Rachel: Oh, my God! They told us that was for the mascot.
天哪！他们说那是给吉祥物穿的。
Monica: Back then I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews. And now he's-he's called me up and asked me out.
那时候我觉得，我永远不可能跟奇普·马修斯约会。现在他电话约我。
And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
而且我身体里的胖妞确实很想去。我欠她的，我没满足过她。
Rachel: Oh, you go out with him.
你去吧。
Monica: Oh, really?
真的？
Rachel: Yeah. Just if it's possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
是啊。那个，如果可以，你能不能丢下他去跟别人做爱？
Monica: I'll try.
我试试看。
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
伙计们，电视柜卖得怎样？
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but uh, I don't think any of them are gonna work out.
昨晚有几个电话来问，但我觉得都不靠谱。
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
没错，乔伊很细心地做了抛光处理的。显然，并非所有人都值得拥有木头和钉子。
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away. Just like when she was alive.
别动了，别动了。她老想跑走，跟在世时一样。
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
菲比，你妈妈要跟我们在一起多久？
Phoebe: Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I guess until she, y'know, gets used to the fact that there's, y'know...a new mom.
我不确定。直到她能接受我有了新妈妈吧。
Now I think she's worried that, she's gonna, she's gonna be replaced. Well, that's not gonna happen, is it? No.
她很担心会被取代，才不会呢，对不对？不会。
Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
我得去别的屋回个电话。
Monica: Why can't you use the phone in here?
怎么不在这里打？
Phoebe: Well, I'm returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H.I just spelled the wrong word.
我要打给住在B-E-A-C-H（海边）的妈妈。我刚才说错词了。
Anyway, I don't want to do it in front of someone with a tail.
总之，我不想在有尾巴的人面前打。
Chandler: Hey, you swore you would never tell.
嘿，你发誓不说的。
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebe's mom remind anyone else of a cat?
朋友们，是我疯了，还是菲比妈妈提醒别人是只猫？
Monica: Ross, don't start.
罗斯，别提了。
Ross: Come on. You-you can't tell me you actually believe that-that there's a woman inside that cat?
拜托，你们不会真相信一个女人会附体在一只猫身上吧？
Rachel: I believe it.
我相信。
Ross: No, you don't.
你才不信。
Rachel: Yes, I do.
我信。
Ross: No, you do...you know what, you're not gonna suck me into this.
不，你不 我不会被你牵扯进去的哦。
Rachel: Oh sure I am. Because you always have to be right.
我当然相信，因为你一向认为自己是对的。
Ross: I do not always have to...okay, okay.
我才没有总要 好，对。
Rachel: Jurassic Park could happen.
"侏罗纪公园"会有的呦。
And you know what? Actually, I do think Kirk was smarter than Spock.
还有，我觉得柯克船长比史波克聪明。（星际迷航中的角色名）
Chandler: You were kidding about the Kirk-Spock-thing, though, right?
刚才你说柯克和史波克的那句是开玩笑吧？