Mike: Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries!

欢迎各位收看 "伟大的发明"！

Phoebe: Oh, oh! It's on again!

哦！又播出了！

Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this sort of... Shhhh!

各位，我们能不能别看了啊 嘘！

Host: Folks, this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flinging flanging hard to open.

你是否遇过这种情形？你正打算倒一杯牛奶，但你左思右想，却怎么也打不开纸盒！

Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. Aw! There's gotta be a better way!

天啊，你说对了，麦克。一定有个好办法！

Mike: And there is, Kevin!

的确有，凯文！

Joey: Can we please turn this off?

可不可以别看了？

Rachel: No way, Kevin.

不行，凯文。

Mike: Revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again.

如果我告诉你有个新产品，能保证你再也不用费力，打开牛奶纸盒呢？

Meet the Milk Master 2000.

看看这个牛奶大师2000。

Ross: Are you intrigued? You're flinging flanging right I am!

挑起你的兴趣了吧，是啊，挑得我心痒痒的。

Mike: It's the first time, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This works with any milk carton.

这是他第一次使用，你就知道有多容易了。任何牛奶纸盒都适用。

Joey: Wow, it is easy. Now I can have milk, everyday.

真简单！这样我就可以每天喝牛奶了。

Joey: I can't watch this anymore you guys.

我看不下去了。

Phoebe: All right, you've suffered enough. We'll change it. We'll change it.

你已经受了折磨了，我们换台吧。

Infomercial Announcer: How many times has this happened to you?

这样的状况发生过多少次了？

Joey: Argh, there's gotta be a better way!

肯定有更好的办法的！

Chandler: Uh, it's official there are no good movies.

真的没有好看的电影。

Janice: So let's go to a bad one and make out.

那就去看难看的电影，然后在那里亲热。

Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, so that you can bunny bump against my back.

或许你希望我转过去，你们可以像兔子一样在我背上跳着玩？

Joey: Hey! Hey. Hey, man. What's up?

嘿。 嘿。 嘿。老兄，怎么了？

Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today.

或许该由你来告诉我吧。我的经纪人问我，为何今天的试镜没有出现。

The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message? !

这几周来第一个好机会，你怎么没转告我？！

Chandler: Well, I tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.

告诉你，我虽然喜欢罪恶感…但这次不是我。

Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! Ok, it was me!

是的，就是他！好吧，是我啦！

Joey: How is it you?

怎么会是你？

Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet.

一切真是疯狂啊，你知道吗？钱德躲在衣橱里，倒数十秒，已经数到七了，我一直找不到地方躲。

I I I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it.

我一直想告诉你，我写在手上。你看，全都在这儿。

Joey: Yup, that's my audition.

是啊，就是我的试镜。

Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.

看吧，这就是为何，我到处都要放便条纸。

Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.

对，这就是为何，我们都不邀你一起玩。

Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.

这样有什么悲剧的？再约一次时间啊。

Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.

艾斯黛试过了，选角导演说 我已经错过了机会。

Phoebe: Oh that is unfair. I'll call her I'll tell her it was totally my fault.

这样太不公平了！我来打给她，我告诉她都是我的错。

Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.

不，选角导演不可能，跟演员的朋友谈。

Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. Ok, ooh.

她只跟经纪人谈，她的生活层面真狭隘啊。

Joey: What're you doing? What're you doing?

你在干嘛？

Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office.

不，不，不，我知道啦，哦。我是菲比布菲公司的凯特琳。

Um, is um, Ann there, for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'

菲比可以和安谈一谈吗？她自己明白是什么事。

Joey: Hang up, hang up.

挂掉，快挂掉。

Phoebe: Annie! Hi. Listen, we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office?

安妮，你好，乔伊崔比亚尼有点小问题。很显然地，他错过了试镜，你是转告我们公司的哪一位？

Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm gonna do with her.

艾斯黛？我真不知该拿她怎么办。

No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'

就算丈夫离开，并放火烧房子，世界依旧照常运作。

Chandler: Is anybody else scared?

还有其他人受到惊吓吗？

Phoebe: Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that's it for Estelle. I don't care!

若乔伊错失这次试镜，那是艾斯黛的错，我不管！

Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' I need a pen, a pen.

安妮，你真善良，你何时能见他？我需要笔！

Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!

快给这个女人一本便条纸，给她便条纸，快点！

Monica: Oh, now you wanna pad.

现在你就需要便条纸啦。

Rachel: Huh. Well that's funny. Ugly Naked Guy is still naked, but his dog is wearing a sweater.

真有趣，丑陋裸男光着身子，他的狗却穿着毛衣。

Carol and Susan: Hey! ! There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbie What's ah,

嘿！！ 我的小男孩呢？我的小男孩在这儿！还有他的芭比娃娃！

What's my boy doing with a Barbie?

我儿子干嘛玩芭比娃娃？

Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.

他自己在玩具店选的，他很喜欢呢。

Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.

他去哪儿都带着它，就像能给他安全感的小毯子。这个却穿着雪靴，和时髦的贝雷帽。

Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?

是啊，很可爱。再说一次，他为何要玩这个东西？

Susan: So he's got a doll, so what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up to be in show business.

他有个洋娃娃，那又怎样？除非你怕他将来，长大后变成演艺圈的人。

Carol: This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, would it?

这件事跟他被两个女人扶养长大有没有关系？

Ross: You know what, it's fine. If you're ok with the Barbie thing, so am I.

好，若你能接受他喜欢芭比，那我也可以。

Ross: Give daddy the Barbie! Ben, give, give me the Barbie. Ok, how about, don't you want to play with the monster truck?

把芭比给爸爸，芭比给我。你要不要玩怪兽车？

No. Ok, oh, oh, how about a Dino solider?

不要？好吧那要不要恐龙士兵？

Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll?

罗斯，你真可悲。为何不让你的儿子玩芭比？

Monica: I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?

我要去上班了，有人看到我左边的胸部吗？

Joey: I love that movie.

我喜欢那部电影。

Monica: There it is. Joey, what're you doing?

在这里，你在干嘛？

Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.

对不起，这样很舒服。

Chandler: Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.

去接电话。

Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.

我只有一只手，你应该帮我的，帮我拿件毛衣来。

Chandler: Just do it! Ok, it's Janice and if I get it I'm gonna have to see her tonight.

快点接啦！是珍妮丝，如果我接了我今晚就得跟她见面。

Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.

那太好了，我今晚得跟她见面。

Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?

你为何不想见她？

Chandler: Ok, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and then she took my tomatoes.

昨晚我们在吃晚餐，当餐点送来时，她把一半烤鸡肉放到我盘里，拿走我所有的番茄。

Ross: And that's bad because...you hate chicken piccata? Noo.

这样很不好是因为 你不喜欢烤鸡肉吗？ 不。

Ross: You didn't wanna share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.

你不想与人分享你的番茄。番茄对你很重要。

Chandler: No, it's like all of a sudden, we were this couple, ok? And this alarm started going off in my head, you know, 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'

突然间，我们就是"情侣"了。然后我脑袋里的警报开始大响。"为了你的人生，快跑！快离开这栋大楼！"

Rachel: Aw, men are unbelievable. Janice just thought she was giving you chicken.

男人真是令人难以置信，珍妮丝想着给你鸡肉。

She didn't think she was giving you scary chicken.

她并没想给你吓人的鸡肉。

Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?

你们这些人是怎么回事？心中一旦产生感情，就要马上逃开？

Chandler: I know, that, that's why I don't wanna go tonight, I'm afraid I'm gonna say something stupid.

我知道，那就是，就是我今晚不想去的原因，我怕自己说出一些蠢话。

Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.

你是说男人那一套，故意冷漠，保持距离…直到我们提出分手？

Joey: Hey, you know about that? !

你们都知道啊？！

Chandler: Look, what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing.

我能怎么做？我想度过这个阶段，我不想再害怕承诺。

I want to go through the tunnel to the other side!

就像跃过一个隧道，到达另一端！

Ross: Where there is no fear of commitment.

在那里你无需害怕承诺。

Chandler: Do we have any...Do we have any thoughts here?

我们有没有 有没有任何想法？

Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right?

我没度过那种隧道啦，因为过隧道的规定是你车里不能多于一个女生。

But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear.

但我看来，跟其他事差不多，你得面对恐惧。

You have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! You're afraid of bugs...get a bug. Right?

你怕高的话，就到大楼顶端。你怕虫的话 就逮一只。

In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.

你的情况是，你害怕承诺，你就到那里去，做一个最勇于承诺的男人。

Rachel: Amazingly, that makes sense.

令人讶异的是，很有道理呢。

Chandler: You you think?

你这么觉得？

Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!

是啊，快去吧，老兄！从高处跳下水！用目光击退枪枝！在风中撒尿！

Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm gonna be pretty much peeing every which way.

若我得用目光击退枪枝…我大概已经尿得到处都是了。

Phoebe: Will you guys listen to this and tell me what you think ok? That's interesting.

听听这个然后告诉我你们的想法。很有趣。

Rachel: Honey.

亲爱的。

Phoebe: Oh, 'cause it's the beeper. Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?

哦，是因为这个传呼机。是你今天早上的试镜！可以借用电话吗？

Rachel: Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.

当然，这是紧急事件，以及冒牌经纪人专用。

Joey: Come on baby, come on!

快啊，宝贝！

Phoebe: 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Ok, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'

菲比布菲要回覆呼叫。好，她在车上。我帮你接过去。

Rachel: Very nice touch.

演得很好。

Phoebe: 'Ok, go ahead.' Um, hi Annie. Fantastic! You got it. Oh, ok, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me.

好，请说吧。你好，安妮。太好了！你成功了。你问我他愿意突破尺度吗？

Well, I don't know about that, except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart.

我也不知道。

Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next...Op, went through a tunnel.

除非我知道，而且他也愿意。太好了，你人真好。我很愿意与你共进午餐！不如就下个 正经过隧道。

Rachel: Unbelievable.

难以置信。

Joey: Thank you so much.

太感谢你了！

Phoebe: It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.

真有趣，我从未用过汽车电话。

Joey: You are so amazing, could you do me this huge favor, see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.

你真了不起！你能不能帮我个大忙？还有一个试镜，我很想参加，但艾斯黛无法帮我搞定。

Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time but...

我不知道，一次还很好玩但是

Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.

拜托，再一次就好了。其实是两次啦。

Phoebe: Two?

两次？

Joey: Yeah! No, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.

好啦，其实是三次。拜托，你这么厉害，我爱你。

Phoebe: Ok, I'll do it, but just these three, right? Nooo, it's four.

好，就这三次了，好吗？ 不，是四次。

Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?

你今天怎么会想在家吃？

Chandler: Because, I wanted to uh, give give you this.

因为我想 送你这个东西。

Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! Contact paper!

你这只小狗狗。接触印相纸！

I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.

一个跟你上床的人送你接触印相纸，该说什么？

Chandler: Wait, there's there's more. See the contact paper is to go in your brand new drawer.

还有呢，你看跟它搭配的就是你的新抽屉！

See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.

看，其实这个抽屉，正好与我的梳妆台搭配。

Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.

你不用这么做啊。

Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should should get.

对，我要这么做。是的，我要这么做，因为你是我的女朋友。而女朋友就该得到这些。

Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd!

我得买个元音了，因为，哦我的天啊！

Who would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.

谁会想的到，有一天钱德宾会买个抽屉给我？

Chandler: Not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.

我可想不到。但事实就是这样，而且还不只如此。我们应该去旅行。