Joey: Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off just so I have something to throw at her.

每次她一开始笑，我就想把我的手臂拔下来，然后往她身上砸。

Chandler: Thanks for trying. Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!

谢谢你的努力。对了，根本就没有拉什莫尔伯爵！

Joey: Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?

那个在拉什莫尔山上化妆假扮总统的人是谁？

Ross: How could you've told her? Ross, I didn't think it would that big a deal.

你怎么可以告诉她？-罗斯，我想又没什么大不了的。

Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big a deal.

哦，她认为没什么大不了的。

Rachel: Ok, who are you talking to when you do that?

哈，你这样子是在跟谁讲话？

Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.

这些应该是我们之间，很私密的对话。

Rachel: Ok, Ross, Phoebe is my girl friend, ok? We tell each other everything.

好吧，罗斯，菲比是我的女性好友，好吗？我们无话不谈的。

You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.

得了，男人也一样啊。那些更衣室里的对话呢？

Ross: That's different, ok. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staten Island Ferry?'

那又不一样了，我们会谈像是谁跟脱衣舞娘约会或谁在史坦顿岛渡轮的后舱做爱？

Rachel: Were both of those Joey? Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.

这两个都是乔伊吧？-是的。但是不会谈女朋友，还有你们之间亲密的事。

Rachel: Not even with your best friend. Noo!

连最好的朋友也不谈？-不谈！

Rachel: That is so sad. You're missing out so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.

真可悲啊。你们错过太多乐趣了，罗斯，那是种互相连结与分享的感觉。并知道他们也和你经历过一样的事。

Ross: Hmph. So what, you, you tell each other everything?

那，你们什么都跟对方说吗？

Rachel: Pretty much.

差不多啊。

Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?

你们有没有谈过一夜五次的纪录？你有没有告诉她们那次一夜五次的纪录？

Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.

甜心，你那次是跟卡萝。

Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.

我知道，我想还是值得一提。

Phoebe: Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky plunky music.

全身肌肉放松。听着叮叮咚咚的音乐好。

Ok, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Ok, tell me your happy place.

好的，现在闭上你的眼睛，想一个很愉快的地方。告诉我让你快乐的地方是哪里。

Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.

理查家的客厅，一起喝酒。

Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!

不，不，不，不可以跟理查有关，把酒杯放下。快出来！

Monica: Sorry, but that's my happy place.

对不起，那是让我快乐的地方。

Phoebe: Well, ok, fine, use my happy place. Ok, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything in there.

-好，我的快乐地方借你用，但别乱动东西。

Monica: All right, I'll try not to.

好，我会试着不乱动。

Phoebe: Ok. All right, so, you're in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky...Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?

好。你在草地上天上有一片繁星。-你觉得分手是错误的吗？

Phoebe: Ok, there are no questions in the happy place. Ok, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the tree...

快乐的地方不准问问题。只有和煦的微风和从树上撒下的月光

Monica: I bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine.

我赌他一定忘了我，我打赌他好得很。

Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in happy place.

快乐的地方，不允许赌博和下注。

Ok. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook...

你懂的，那里只有美丽的瀑布、缓慢流动着的喷泉，还有潺潺小溪产生的平静音律

Monica: Ok, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.

好，一点用也没有。我还是醒着的，而且我得去尿尿。

Janice: Guess who?

猜猜我是谁？

Joey: Janice. Hi, you just missed Chandler, but uh won't you come in before you go?

珍妮丝。嗨，钱德刚走，但是，你走之前还是进来吧。

Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!

我听说，你讨厌我！

Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.

我，我没说我讨厌你，我可是很小心的。

Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.

有一只小鸟告诉我，你想扯下手臂，丢到我身上。

Joey: And you got 'hate' from that? ! You're thinking a big leap there...All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we have got to do something about our little situation here Joey.

这样你就觉得我讨厌你？！你也太断章取义了吧-好吧这种情形，我们得想点策略。

So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together. But what does that gonna do...For Chandler!

这是我的主意：你和我花点时间，好好相处。-但是那有什么关-为了钱德！

Joey: Ok. I'm in.

好吧，我加入。

Janice: Ok. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'

-好。这就叫做：乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游！

Joey: Does it have to be a whole day? Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.

要一整天啊？-是的，因为这是让你爱上我需要的时间。

Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.

是，我知道，我睡在你们的隔壁。

Chandler: So, do you guys all hate Janice too?

你们也都讨厌珍妮丝了？

Phoebe: Ooh you hate Janice now? Oh! Joey's going to be so relieved.

你现在讨厌珍妮丝了？哦！乔伊终于可以松一口气了。

Rachel: Oh my God. My God.

上帝啊，上帝啊。

Chandler: Oh look everybody...it's Weepy: The Mime That Cares Too Much.

好吧，看，各位这是在哭泣哑剧：太过担心。

Monica: And I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.

我今天去了邮局，寄来的是我订的录影带，是帮理查订的，有关南北战争的。他很喜欢看南北战争。

Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?

莫妮卡，你要不要我们带你回家？

Monica: Uh, huh. Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.

或者带我到遥远的银河去吧。

Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that? Umm, yeah.

女人什么事都说。你知道吗？-嗯，是的。

Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth...

不，钱德，我是说全部的事！你喜欢的东西，她喜欢的东西技巧，精力，周长

Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?

周长？为什么？她们为何这样做？

Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we ought to be doing it. You wanna?

瑞秋说分享的感觉很棒，而我们也应该这么做。你想要吗？

Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth are we? Nooo! Yeah, ok. Yeah? Yeah! All right! You go first.

我们不会要讨论周长吧？-不。-好吧。-好吧？-好！你先吧。

Ross: Ok, ok, I'll go first. Ok.

好，好，我先说。-行。

Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing...

有天晚上瑞秋和我在床上讨论彼此的性幻想我就形容了一个画面，星球大战里的

Chandler: Princess Leia in gold bikini. Yes!

莉亚公主和金色比基尼。-好！

Chandler: I know! Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Ok, you- you go. Ok. Ok.

我知道！-这倒挺容易的好，换你了。-好。-好。

Chandler: Ok, well you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.

好，当你跟一个女人在床上，正在亲热。

Ross: Hmph.

嗯。

Chandler: And, ah, you know, you're fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place...

脑袋里突然出现一些疯狂的念头。就像超级名模埃勒麦克弗森，或是影印店的那个女孩

Ross: With the belly button ring? Oh, muhawa!

穿了肚脐环的那个？哦！

Chandler: I know, And then all of a sudden your mom pops into your head. And you're like 'Mom, get outta here!'

我知道，但是突然之间，你忽然想到你妈。然后你就想 “妈，快走开啦！”

You know, but 'course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what you're doing.

但从那时起，你的脑袋里就只有你妈，而你正在做的事又不能停止。

So it's kind of like, you're, you know. You know...You don't know!

所以你就好像，你知道的，你知道的你不知道！

Ross: Your mom, you're telling me, you're telling me, about your mom, what is the matter with you?

你妈妈？你是说跟你妈一起？你究竟有什么毛病？

Chandler: You said...Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there.

你说 -我说要分享，不是吓人。你给我坐到那边去。

Janice: We're baack!

我们回来了！

Joey: Hey...

-嘿

Chandler: Hey, what are you guys doing together?

嘿，你们俩在一起干嘛？

Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN! !

乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游！！

Chandler: Really. Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and, you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.

真的吗？-我们去看纽约大都会的比赛，还吃了中国菜，你知道的，我爱这个女人你有竞争对手了，兄弟。

Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler.

我只是上来亲你一下，我得去接孩子了，所以。待会儿见，甜心你也是，钱德。

Chandler: You still can't stand her can you? I'm sorry man, I tried, I really did.

你还是受不了她，是吗？-抱歉，我已尽最大努力了。

Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.

还是谢谢你的努力。

Joey: But, hey, look, you know, the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together, and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.

但是有一点可喜的是，我们整天在一起，而我还能存活。更了不起的是，她也还活着，因为今天是谢伊球场的“球棒”日。

Chandler: I guess that's something. Oh man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.

我想这还蛮了不起的。-天啊，这可是大事呢！现在我知道我可以待在她旁边，表示我可以和你们一起出去，反正这就是我的重点。

Chandler: Ok.

好吧。

Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.

哦，嘿，钱德勒，我们在咖啡店停了一下，结果遇到罗斯。

Chandler: Oh God!

天啊！

Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.

希望这会让你好过点，我也会有这种想法。

Chandler: Really?

真的吗？

Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your mom when I'm having sex.

对啊，当我在做爱时我都会想像你妈的样子。

Video: April Twelve, Eighteen hundred sixty one, 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon it is now under bombardment by...

1861年4月12日萨姆特堡的美国要塞遭到炮轰这场炮轰是由于

Monica: Hey, Dad, what are you doing here?

嘿，爸，你怎么来了？

Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I'd come into the city for a little Monicuddle. Since when did you start smoking cigars?

你妈今晚打桥牌，所以我进城来看看小莫妮卡。你什么时候开始抽雪茄了？

Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?

我没有，只是喜欢闻它的味道。你来这里真正的目的是什么？

Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure that you are ok.

我只想确定一下你还好吧。

Monica: What makes you think that I might not be ok?

我为什么会不好呢？

Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.

我看到理查了。

Monica: Oh.

哦。

Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?

所以，你还好吗？

Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, but I'm ok. How-how's Richard doing?

我很好，我只是有点累，但我还好。理查怎么样了？

Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.

你不会想知道的。

Monica: No, I-I really, really do.

不，我我真的，很想知道。

Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!

他的情况很糟！

Monica: Really? !

真的？！

Mr. Geller: It's worse than when he broke up with Barbara.

比他失去芭芭拉时还糟。

Monica: You're not just saying that are you? -Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.

你不是故意这么说的吧？-不，那个男人简直一团糟。

Monica: Was he crying?

他有没有哭？

Mr. Geller: No.

没有。

Monica: Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry?

你觉得他是否等你走后，才一个人开始哭？

Mr. Geller: Maybe.

或许吧。

Monica: I think so.

我想是的。

Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. You know after we graduated from college we broke up for a while.

-我想也是宝贝，感情这回事很难说，就像我跟你妈大学毕业后，我们曾分手一阵子。

It seems her father, your grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did.

她父亲，就是你祖父，似乎希望你妈跟他一样，到欧洲四处旅行。

Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However...

当然，他是为了山姆大叔，因为当时他也在猛轰德国的军用运输列车然而

Rachel: Ok, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you, have a really weird look on your face.

好吧，开始啰我是贾霸的囚犯，而你脸上的表情好怪。

What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?

怎么了？甜心，有什么问题？我的头发不对吗？还是别的问题？跟你想像的不同，还是？

Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's...

不，不是你的问题，是

Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your kinda like, freaking me out here.

怎么了？拜托，甜心，你快把我吓坏了。

Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life.

我恨钱德，那个混蛋毁了我的人生。