Beets are the rocks of the vegetable world.

甜菜就是蔬菜世界的石头]qqYGPX,zesBNUwe。

And just like rocks, they grow underground.

就像石头一样，它们生长在地下nkW^%CsAFOJgZb86。

And also just like rocks, if you apply enough heat, they become soft and edible.

而且，就像石头一样，如果你加热到一定程度，它们就会变软，变得可以食用&L8JJGY];sMuGeS。

Now, you wanna wash the beets with around 25% tenderness, 35% love, and 40% care, and 0% "I don't give a care".

现在，你要用25%的温柔，35%的爱，40%的关爱，0%的“我不在乎”来洗甜菜[DMt&4(AM5gXblf,&m。

Cooking beets takes forever.

烹饪甜菜要花很长时间w@mo~O]bb6#+|nF。

If you don't have forever, probably don't make beets.

如果你没有很长的时间，那就不要做甜菜了0IdKbh~)t35r(。

I'm gonna cook them a couple different ways.

我会用几种不同的方法烹饪它们)l0cJ)!B1+G#&。

Oh, that's already too small.

噢，那也太小了8r@g[=!2dI[HK-(。

Salt.

盐lYUu]kjSWkMi5z。

I read that adding some vinegar and lemon keeps them from bleeding.

我读到说，加一些醋和柠檬可以防止它流血b!EsRA0SNRJbiE1RZ。

I don't know what that means, and I don't know if it's true.

我不知道那是什么意思，我也不知道这是不是真的saQNtppO]HSqj%8XcY。

I probably should have cut those much smaller.

我应该把它们切小一些的mx@+;+cB+#h。

You wanna put them on some foil, and you wanna completely seal them, so that way they don't lose moisture.

你得把它们放在锡箔纸上，将它们完全密封起来，这样它们就不会失去水分broZVN5qEM,^&#_J=。

Onion's on 400.

烤箱开到400华氏度Yh6Gb4znEt8W2j4p,。

That's gonna take around an hour.

大约需要烤一个小时+36yP5jB*c2#%Z2[ld。

Gauging the ripeness of a beet is really, really tricky.

测量甜菜的成熟程度真的非常非常难VBy5Ia6!ev~-o#.Xy5|)。

But if you've got a hard, smooth wood surface, you can take the beet and give it a good roll.

但是如果你有一个坚硬光滑的木质表面，你可以让甜菜滚起来0[V+PW%[[XMrbQ)mWRB。

And if you get a strike, ohhh, this one's still standing here, but probably ripe enough.

如果你能全部击倒，噢，还有一个站在这里，但应该已经够熟了yvxhuaPy8Eq。

Now if you're power stroking, you have a decent approach, a good axis tilt and get, say, a fast eight or a babysplit, you're probably good to go.

现在，如果你在做功，知道合适的方法，有一个好的倾斜角度，然后得到，比如说，撞到8瓶以上或顽童式残局，那你就可以开始做了u2a1Y-]OSD=#。

But if you threw a boomer with a late break point, hit the Jersey side and end up with a Greek church, depending on the radius of gyration, you're probably gonna wanna give those beets a couple more days.

但是，如果你扔了一个xxx，撞上了xxx，最后得到了xxx，这取决于xxx，（全部为保龄球术语）你可能需要再给这些甜菜几天时间^7&DH-]_r9m。

Don't hide.

别躲啊YVIi3ZN4)N@%FwC。

If you don't wanna spend the money on a food processor, what you can do is go buy one, make your beet dip, return the food processor,

如果你不想把钱花在食品加工机上，你能做的就是去买一个，把甜菜浸做好，然后把食品加工机拿去退掉，

and just say,"I'm sorry, I just can't use a food processor. That's all covered in beets like this one, and what kind of operation are you running here anyway?"

然后说，“对不起，这个食品加工机没法用sm9es-R))J!gS5Sw~gP@。上面到处都是像这样的甜菜，你在这都用它干什么了？”

If you don't even wanna go buy a food processor, and you happen to get one of the early Armatron 5000 prototypes.

如果你甚至不想去买一个食品加工机，而你碰巧有一台早期的Armatron 5000原型机i&^&OQr29puvyIXtgMi~。

What you can do is repurpose that, with just a couple hacks, and...

你能做的就是改变它的用途，只需几次破解，然后……

The mechanics of a food processor are exactly the same, only this one works quite a bit more quickly, and processes more evenly.

它和食品加工机的原理是完全一样的，只是这一种要快得多，加工过程也更平稳yyy7^fnA;jS#6F。

I call it "The Food Processotron 2.7."

我叫它“食品加速器2.7版”

But it doesn't come with the gloves, or the belt, or the knives, or the tape, or the coat-hanger.

但手套、腰带、刀子、胶带和衣架不是配套来的W&A^c%gLt+-KGc。

If the fork goes in relatively easily, they're good.

如果叉子能够相对容易插进去，那它们就可以了[LZpSKE=1BfTl。

I made the mistake of not cutting off the stems first or the roots or whatever you call it.

我犯了一个错误，没有先切掉茎或根，或者随便你怎么叫它eU;2a@e-,Zn_。

The whole thing's a root, right?

反正这东西本来整个都是根，不是吗？

I don't even know what it's called.

我都不知道它叫什么*z&epx+P6D02ELhe*。

But. No regrets.

但是tHAuRiIMho)a;XJ。别后悔了_(h^EnpNp%fG,3.rJz。

You can kinda just scrape, and pinch, and peel them off.

你只需要刮一下，捏一下，然后把它们剥下来就行了hRk#)JT.HxIrpxIa]。

I'm sure there's a technique for this.

我相信是有办法的AFbkURiXQKn7mEXHnN7。

But the main difference I'm seeing here between the boiled and baked beets is that you should really buy the pre-cooked ones,

但我在这里看到的煮甜菜和烤甜菜之间的主要区别是，你真的应该买预煮好的甜菜，

'cause this is a huge waste of time and just a big goddamn mess.

因为做这东西实在太浪费时间了，而且还搞出一堆烂摊子MNub-TID%Apk|AFQ9YuZ。

I don't recommend it.

我不推荐自己做R^KbJ8zcewZ!~。

OK, quick taste test here.

好了，快速尝一下味道WAzfk[EF&=2D4Z*@4EO。

We got a boiled beet and a baked beet.

我们有煮甜菜和烤甜菜QdW6p]C6Sj|uTvK-。

Boiled. Whoa!

煮的5z9.BM4gz^k+A。哇哦！

Tastes like garbage.

尝起来像垃圾JNLP+D8,bq=G1r7=Nbv。

You can see the color, it's just leeched right out of it.

你可以看到它的颜色，直接从里面渗出来了b&oe3X1mRAch4Y&;h。

Bake your beets, if you wanna maintain the flavor.

还是烤甜菜吧，如果你想留住味道|sl])li|h^8MHiy&wAKw。

I kinda poured all the flavor down the drain.

我好像把所有的味道都倒进了下水道h*)y[Ol(^f%eBV4X+。

Food processors work best if you cut your vegetables into the right size and shape,

当你把蔬菜切成合适的大小和形状的时候，食品加工机运行的效果最好-Y8Gmp-0WvT09[|,p*ML。

and for beets, that means cutting them into a one inch cube, a hexagonal prism, a moon-shaped pool, a pentabeet, or a "beet" box.

对于甜菜来说，这意味着把它们切成一英寸的立方体、六角棱柱、月亮形的泳池、一个五角甜菜或一个“甜菜”盒子x!FLihP=aP))Wwc3q。

Some of these aren't the right size, so let's hope it doesn't jam.

有些尺寸不太对，希望它不会卡住ZV-)%^^@bTvW。

Yogurt or sour cream, lemon, clove of garlic, salt, horseradish.

酸奶或酸奶油，柠檬，蒜瓣，盐，辣根@D]uV91RiPH9s+。

That takes a long time compared to the Food Processotron 2.7, but, y'know, sometimes it's good to be patient.

与食品加速器2.7相比，用这个需要很长的时间，但是，你知道，有时候有点耐心是好事vjGb-A1Zm^Hx。

Damn, that is good.

天呐，真不错_a[VN!7p[7|0WDh。

You know what?

你知道吗？

I made this before without the horseradish.

我之前做这个的时候没有加辣根wCAQ,LLzLq。

I feel like that's what it was missing.

我感觉就是缺了它x*0+~j#B*LHcCO0Lq。

It's more horseradical!

它更有辣根味了！

Another way to go is: Beets, bunch of lemon, more lemon, tahini, salt, pepper pepper pepper, garlic, and chickpeas.

另一种方式是：甜菜，一些柠檬，更多柠檬，芝麻酱，盐，很多胡椒，大蒜，鹰嘴豆#v1l^QkxiT.IvxwF。

This is more of a hummus with beets than it is a beet dip, but who's keeping track?

这更像是加了甜菜的鹰嘴豆泥，而不是甜菜蘸酱，但谁又能注意到呢？

Hello?

谁？

What do you think you're doing?

你到底在干什么？

Oh, shit!

噢，糟糕！