对抗土豆的索然无味
日期:2021-09-10 10:33

(单词翻译:单击)

 MP3点击下载
_I|Xg08t.lUwz96lXq0GY+lFAafFm

Okay, I've got the potometer fired up, and we're just gonna find ourselves a nice, juicy...

[QqgwIq4Gx-h%tp)

好了,我已经把散发计打开了,我们要去找一个美味多汁的…

4gXK-R^A8=PNihD(

Got them!

Uk72oNyj%jM09hd

搞定!

=XjMIUTEqmWH~

If your ground-punching game isn't that strong, you can also just buy these at the store.

6A&cBaZ[tJa|Tid&

如果你玩捶地游戏不是很厉害,你也可以在商店买到它们5@6+@-%q3-u3FpNS!qDR

9J!U9BuM@Qppw[v

And you could let your potatoes say goodbye to each other...

XIp(ogi(qeHJsu7A-(b

你可以让你的土豆跟彼此说再见……

qFP9c-yI^#

Except potatoes don't have the ability to talk, so let's stop fooling around.

JsVxQ]PEh#3!bx

不过土豆是不会说话的,所以我们别在这瞎搞了Vye+ToFEUBJDGCmBnMEh

MrVYu3j.av-I-~sqpU2

Now that you've got your potatoes, it's time to decide what form of baking you're gonna use.

r+s&bb(_nm~)NCN,E

现在你已经有土豆了,是时候决定用什么烘焙方式了GWmav4B(VxJ0MC@[,nKA

;Oj_cdSEE,eGVGz4sLf

One option is micro baking.

DCDjs8V|6g#3

一种选择是微波炉烘焙4;qpyO_+&[zJcK-g2#_

4=|hOBVMQhocRrEiGV

If someone tries to condescend to you for using a Micro-Bake Oven, just say, "I'd like to see you operate a Micro..."

.f|rmSnr(8uSbpPs-

如果有人试图对你用微波炉这件事表现出优越感,你只需说:“你来操作试试...”

5HWm^)-dtd

Beginner's luck.

6)Tl&2HEp)sxj2IJQ

新手的运气t21&%]^9Bl|Fin

DX=1Ai&pc.TpTZft12u

The truth is, micro baking is super easy.

FUx(8R)QgGHUjDV

事实上,微波炉烘焙非常简单R]YKXO1m!Kh,L1[1t_2

VH.(GSdgysJyt-;(O

Put your potato on a plate, set it for 10 minutes on high, and your potato should come out perfect.

WW2Msi9[_rtN26

把土豆放在盘子里,设置高火10分钟,土豆就会烤得非常完美W_1^um![E6Wb

1+RT8*8zxG#

Another option is aqua baking.

DS;(vT);396_1

另一种选择是水焙AVU6V|&me^(eV(IN[Yq#

mNzsYAmv0tjh#R

Some people don't want to aqua bake because they're worried their potatoes will get wet.

M.ik;8QR|NT6TM68)T

有些人不喜欢水焙,因为他们担心土豆会被弄湿cd2-5F.~R=hsPm5M0r

ix|E#7*4oQU4jUm

Which is silly, because potatoes are waterproof. See?

RtaoqY,vyLAFA03

太傻了,因为土豆是防水的-f=Q5Ek-iKX;X].R=E。看到了吗?

H.cr71uvR5y]ZUvw5

But because they're waterproof, aqua baking takes a long time.

VukTZTkgeVqht(g

但正因为防水,水焙很耗时VcM_FifJ^o[Mj7I)a

fmHJReO76t!B~^;

And also it's called boiling, and that's not why we're here today.

fib=]vc77CnAqD;

它也被称为煮,但这不是我们今天要用的方法05lU@ixTh5

~E6xTUDZ4kg#6el

Baking with the slow cooker is super simple.

wwho!tu(^Rpc

用慢炖锅煮非常简单WVq(njtGy+rX%-|[

nS]@YoBy@hC

Put your potato inside, put the lid on, set the timer for 6 years, then go away and raise a family.

xm0LHu,-Mm

把土豆放进去,盖上盖子,把时间设为6年,然后离开,组建家庭^1F-6~O*.3Hh7c-

=QL!o[-zeMr|rQy~y

By the time your kid is in first grade, you'll have a nice delicious meal ready.

jB4FKP4=N;H)TDGk

等到你的孩子上一年级的时候,你就可以享用一顿美味的饭菜了D#7WcMb7-([(^!rQ@*

%bekp!Lm0hU)

Baking baking, the method I'm gonna use today, is what humans have been doing for decades, ever since the discovery of the onion in Bancroft, Kentucky in the 1960s.

q99uOT.SOMPcCpP,K

烤箱烘焙,我今天要用的烘焙方法,是人类几十年来一直在用的,自从20世纪60年代在肯塔基州的班克罗夫特发现了洋葱以来(NgVNij^pvZ8)IeM

#V542^Pn-&,%Dp+LTIk

Baking baking takes a long time because potatoes are airproof.

g)l&3XbRVVHExMIyy

烤箱烘焙需要很长时间,因为土豆是密不透气的~X!VMSKxA]5iZQ7s&

Wt1VdD285UP

But before you get started, you're gonna need to prepare your potatoes.

t^fORhr@)4EwH

但在你开始之前,你需要处理一下土豆|63!uyGCn6Q)~xNI9g

,6qwj4ZjZ+W~1!BP8%B

First, we're gonna give them a nice, scrubby wash.

y9D~]s#wZroYx

首先,我们要把土豆好好清洗一下TNRKS[qo;Sa~

bQT])y^Me^tQBAA_

Then you're gonna want to stab your potato with a fork, which is done by jamming your fork inside and easily pulling it out with a pair of vise grips.

)2hP+Jzpp!O5ejf^_

然后用叉子刺土豆,把叉子插进去,然后用钳子轻松地把叉子拔出来g@xKh-3E.Tu~8;of

Ur_nGXQcf8

You can also tap it in with a hammer.

9%Ca294LHt]o;=Dh

你也可以用锤子把它敲进去G)!eAA5~Y3z

oah.Bam,*+a

You can let gravity do the work for you.

2Xc^fm*oqz

你可以借助重力完成@56LBQ@vTnvsRbzPAP#

TqaRlO)w+.O_BYfzM0J

You can save time by stabbing with four forks at once.

an@|D5#!uiN5JYW%

为了节省时间,你可以四把叉子齐上阵ELa=3fV~haQ1eWMQsu33

LgmL%f3JuCbE3

Or if you play pro ball like me, you can do this.

OpJL#NvK,Oe4d_~;lr

如果你像我一样打职业棒球,你就能做到xvqJ%|1AZ;=r9[tnL

H+.W|I8yULA

If you don't stab your potato first, the steam can't escape and this is what happens to the potato.

g~1@JOd0M!nQ-g

如果你不先戳戳这些土豆,蒸汽就出不来,土豆就会变成这样FW!G]D9H&CJ

_CY8.R8WNQ%3qw

This can also happen with the micro baker, so, don't forget those fork holes.

!Mi!v!vI],qfOkv

用微波烘焙法也会发生这种情况,所以,不要忘记叉一些孔b;kBH6xHFdEBEMs()-.

d*~l*xsK2.

Now we'll just slather the potato with Olive Flavored Stab Soothing Balm, sprinkle with some Freshlock Salt, and give these guys four free tickets to the Gravitron.

5p~G7tZ(YHkmyi

现在我们往土豆上厚厚地涂一些橄榄味刺伤舒缓阵痛膏,撒上新鲜凝锁盐,让这些家伙免费体验星际飞船Q~]Hk.67CP=NNf

O**1(2(PmV3Pl5OQ

Throw them on a pan, undoh's on four hundoh, and we're gonna throw those in for around 45 minutes.

-wP2Zv)D_0Z

把它们扔到烤盘里,烤箱温度是400,我们烤个大约45分钟akCR~PbiaX

ss=fg=5h#TEFW

Now we've had them in for the correct amount of time, but the fork is the ultimate determiner of doneness.

!!Yx[S#GTJ]

现在,尽管时间已经够了,但叉子才是检验成果的最终决定者.NF,,cY[U,)~6sv2

3#T@a2b7hr3lI^=3

微信图片_20210909133207.png

Sc9z]GqKp&k(Y

Take your fork and whack the side.

]HCTSE^ZVc!;UM_X-L

用叉子从一侧猛击土豆,h29CE~ja]ClO4kiJjgV

31!Irs(eMX_wOz)o9t0

If you hear it resonate, then congratulations,you own a tuning fork.

6lO3|h-UbFKeGsW(VL3

如果你听到了共鸣,那么恭喜你,你那是一个音叉8w|;c3pH5mGloPY@v;+m

o-U+uKhD+rr.N

But if you take a real fork and it slides in easily to the center, you know it's done.

2Kd|kpC^D.df*(!)c6%*

但如果你拿的是一把真正的叉子,当你能轻易把它插进中心,你就知道做好了e]Cza3TrXRyaOv

fxgSrI.qb=rV0n|yZ!]Y

If you encounter resistance, put it in for another 10 minutes.

8M%(C;-m%+Ch0bISb(#8

如果遇到阻力,再烤10分钟QV%U;r|m|U6rS

FgDCOjjG,fNK

Now you're gonna want to saw it open and then press the ends together, until it opens like a piping hot 70's change purse.

C3|wp!p!,z_H84w]bMxr

现在你把它锯开然后从两端挤压,直到它像70年代炙手可热的零钱包那样打开O9dGLNQNm;r+vBH!YeCI

[|p0Cnp6*p

Now we're gonna shovel the inside out, and put them in a bowl.

)l-f4k|2T)J!+=T

现在我们从里面把土豆铲出来放进碗里A[^W&G!efZ#n+q(G|B@

H8vN;r_8#g

Okay, that's ridiculous.

)4Vx+;s91M63m-

好吧,这太荒唐了@Wpkj8,xJHm.x9VkPCz%

5*GX]5^nR@PK)y~m

Let's use a proper-sized shovel.

%,VX|4&|Q]._&

我们用一把正常大小的铲子吧i8bI=RFxAzgc

|U8UMbF)#nEtd+aA

If the potato hole doesn't come up perfect, just throw the potato in the garbage and start over. Just kidding.

-y+Su;ErNwqG

如果土豆洞开得不完美,那就把土豆扔进垃圾桶,重新开始Av&z#v|7vue7O#J5N!。开个玩笑V_^QKr51~kcGU

]C+.cFaSv-=[

Now look at this.

0#xJ2s,=1s_FU

看着它sarY7y0BMg6wZ01

_23b_E6]RL3p||l

What does this remind you of?

kvQR-R._M1lFF=3y|5J

这让你想起了什么wVzis.Jw.pQc&rU

JP!gg#Gc~@.1dPS8mR1

It reminds you of nothing.

SmveixMfBc51!^h;PYa

它让你想起来一无所有B2+Iz3.3j6z

G0vUY4@2V@[u6m

When the Greeks first discovered the potato, they had to invent the number "zero" in order to describe the amount of flavor inside it.

nTaCbmGb5st3,9c

当希腊人第一次发现土豆时,他们不得不发明数字“零”用来描述土豆里面的味道fzFMb-%D-t)+TG6F(~Up

OlZo1#72F)_)-e

Which is where zero gets its shape from.

h*IU,^ha)JE]IM

这就是0的形状来源N(hQ(k)+T(00tVkoFY

_hqRGqBNs|

And that's why we load potatoes with anything and everything we can find so we can try to forget that we're eating something so flavorless, it's like staring into the abyss.

k^xzjPn!qlMHwC8

这就是为什么我们要把所有能找到的东西都放进土豆里,这样我们就可以试着忘记我们吃的东西是如此无味,就像盯着深渊看一样)NcJai6,,Zo~

uPDyHVYfh6R^xNoSzW8

And the great thing about it, is you can put whatever the fxxk you want in there.

suASQ4f4Fm-)_xoA0

最棒的是,你可以在里面放任何你想放的东西d;.2i)=_X538Z

Pq8mcF[Adp

Why'd you censor that?

l,FPzdmCtp,

你为什么要屏蔽这个词?

j(IRc.~eP8m_j!@U=

Thank you.

*g8s&GG9.)x

谢谢vl2OaP~TZ,ZY|

GR^5o,56cTczLwht7cC+

So this first one, we're gonna throw in some butter,some cheddar, some sour cream, some salt, some pepper pepper pepper, some bacon, some chives.

Jlf7!o6RW3dt(

第一个,我们放一些黄油,一些切达干酪,一些酸奶油,一些盐,一些胡椒粉,一些培根,一些香葱4W*gU*h+Wc^Ah*H

S&mX.|)yHlQ]

The second one, we're gonna put in some veggie bullion, some cumin, some cheddar cheese, some cream cheese, some broccoli.

#tlc_Hs,pQ4|t

第二个,我们放一些蔬菜浓汤,一些孜然,一些切达奶酪,一些奶油奶酪,一些西兰花a+hcHs!n3Gm!limo=aEP

aW=tu@Q9!M

Then wang jangle everything together, until there is no trace of nothing.

g0j&1LPu*@mualT!pPaw

然后把所有的东西都搅在一起,直到那种无味不见踪影WIU)ua7iS4tLlF0NmxQ#

*r0ia~q]so9CH=D0K*

And then we'll shovel those insides back in there, then we'll top them with some more cheddar, some more bacon on these guys, some more chives on the other ones.

tarEw1lWQw9wkAGCKn@C

然后我们把里面的东西铲回土豆里,然后在上面再加一些切达干酪,再加一些培根,在其他的上面再加一些葱x5_Tt*#(D!K3CAwMH

7K9OFMY7AVzK3-;3

And then we're gonna get these m***** f****** back in...

TSM!6&iMp@[8

然后我们把这些东西放回……

Ge^O@rhGyRh(

Oh, come on!

j@fm,(=LQ2y(

拜托!

XRE^_1.YP@6&oDEG

Thank you.

W~a_40~,Ux10l

谢谢lL,*&D|A~t7K3EO-

&_9S^0RJZzOMY97l

We're gonna throw these in the undoh for another 10 minutes to reheat the insides and melt all that cheese.

#2LV5VC4v)4FbS

我们再把这些放回烤箱里加热10分钟,让里面的奶酪融化,@,&lZxnh*U

5!.)]RyQ84i&c

Or you can just keep a very careful eye on them until you think it's time and then take it out based on your great observations and intuition.

8N90f#e[mhmcl

或者你可以非常仔细地观察它们,直到你觉得是时候了,就根据你的观察和直觉把它们拿出来vp7|o+#@[jIjq9m^Xh

o-0sV0iM!Rj(VBV*~@

Alright. So these babies are done, topped with some more sour cream and chives.

(]RS6I=n%8JMvDW

好了V.;HkX=I=#i~eH&b^Z=N。这些小宝贝就做好了,上面再放些酸奶油和香葱ec)Flcq,tqUsnhN2

f&|@NN2CpCdcj|O9*l

And while you're admiring how good these came out, it's important to make sure that any of your raw leftover potatoes don't see your decked out loaded potatoes.

+#VgO#~hej+_y~)guD

当你在欣赏这些土豆的美貌时,重要的是,确保那些生土豆不会看到这些装饰好的土豆b||tWa]JmXo

&@V1=-|J3%^#

They're already struggling with tasting like nothing.

PF=joVAC=uvtakKEX@

他们已经在为索然无味而挣扎了r-wD%]Z|iXpI

GDsByp2Aa&k(B

They don't need you making them feel more insecure.

%V4FcGAG]%Rcuc[dEw

他们不需要你让他们感到更没有安全感S&Pl*@x%Y!G)T6

wutYpZiaR;7&(5c)FmWZbdF=)IB2v]Uk|*0C0^il.Xg)lS[
分享到