(单词翻译:单击)
Welcome to another edition of Ellen, The Shut-in Years.
欢迎来到艾伦秀的另一个版本 “禁闭年”
Just an update, I've explored the entire internet.
跟你们说一下 我浏览了网上所有的东西
And here's what I've learned. There are some weird people out there.
了解到了这些 有一群很奇怪的人
Amen, sister. Oh, right? I found a website called wikiFeet.
阿门 哦是吗？我发现了一个叫做wikiFeet的网站
Have you heard of this, Andy? I have not.
你听说过吗 安迪？没有
WikiFeet, it's a website that collects photos of celebrities feet.
wikiFeet 这个网站专门收集名人的脚的照片
And you're probably thinking the same thing as I am.
你们应该跟我想到一块儿了
Finally. It's perfect if you're tired of looking at beautiful faces.
终于有这样的网站了啊 在这个看够了美女脸的时代 太需要这样的网站了
I've always said that feet are the faces of the legs.
我经常说脚就是腿的脸
And the legs are the arms of the bottom half of your body. It's science.
腿又是下半身的胳膊 这可是科学哦
You know, I have no problem with this website if that's what you're into.
我对这种网站没意见
But leave me out of it. Unfortunately, they did not leave me out of it.
别牵扯到我就行 但是 他们也放了我的照片
Here's one of the photos of me on wikiFeet.
这是我在wikiFeet上的一张照片
OK. That's a promotional photo I took for my show.
好 那是我为节目拍的宣传照
And I made the mistake of going shoeless. I thought that would be wacky.
我犯了个错误 不该没穿鞋 我以为那样显得比较古怪
I don't know what I was thinking. But I thought, yeah I'm wearing a suit.
不知道我当时在想啥 不过 我想反正我穿了西装
I'm all dressed up. But what if I did no shoes?
穿戴整齐 如果不穿鞋会是什么效果呢？
And I wish I could say this is the only time I posed without shoes.
真希望我能说这是我唯一一张没穿鞋子的照片
But apparently it's kind of my thing. I'm known for it.
但它好像是我的特色 大家都知道我不爱穿鞋
Here's another one. And it's an older photo, younger feet.
这是另一张 这个照片更老 脚更年轻
Then here's another one. Mmm-hmm. OK. That's a, that's-- I don't know what that is.
还有一张 嗯 嗯 好 这个 我不知道那是啥
All right. And I think there's one more. Is there one more?
好 应该还有一个 还有吗？
Yeah, that's me and Portia on vacation. So that's a twofer-- or a fourfer because there's four feet.
对 那是我和波西娅去度假的时候 所以相当于买一赠一哦 买一赠四 因为有四只脚
So it's a fourfer. I could go on and on because I found out that there are 71 images of my feet.
所以是买一赠四 我可以一直这么看下去 我找到了71张我的脚部照片
Wow. Yeah. I can't even remember-- anyway.
哇哦 是啊 我都不记得 总之呢
And if that's not bad enough, they rate your feet. They ask you to rate it.
如果这还不算遭 他们还会给你的脚打分 他们会让你打分
It turns out I have a rating of 3 and 1/2 stars, which translates to "OK feet". Wow.
我的打分是3.5颗星星 也就是我的脚“还可以” 哇
Yeah. I disagree with that. I think both you and Portia have lovely feet.
嗯 我有意见 我觉得你和波西娅的脚都可好看了
We have pretty good-- we have good feet. Yeah.
我们有很好的 很好看的脚 对
And there's nothing wrong. They're little-- my piggies are in the right order.
没有任何瑕疵 很小巧 我的小脚趾们整整齐齐
They help me to walk. And I can kick.
还能帮我行走 我还能踢东西
And they go wee wee wee all the way home, my little piggies.
能让我一路走回家 我的小脚趾们
I mean, what else do you want from feet, really?
你还指望你的脚能干什么呢？
3 and 1/2 stars really is insulting. If that was a restaurant, I would not eat at my feet.
3.5颗星太羞辱人了 如果是个餐馆 我都不愿意去我的脚吃饭
Does that make sense? Yeah.
这能说通吗？嗯
Well, Yelp is out of, like, five stars. So if they're saying three and 1/2, not so good.
连Yelp都有五颗星 所以如果给你3.5颗 不算好
You know what? You'd move on to a different pair of feet.
你会选择去另一双脚那儿
Rate them again, you people. Rate them. I can't see. There.
再评一次 你们 评评看 我看不见 看啊
What's wrong with these? I can't see them. But I rate them beautiful.
哪里不完美？我看不到 但我觉得它们很好看
Yeah. Look. Yep. There's nothing wrong with them.
嗯 看 对 没有任何毛病
They're all soft. Not a corn or a callus in sight. No. No.
非常柔软 没长鸡眼 也没有茧子 没有 没有
I moisturize them, take care of them.
我给脚保湿 好好照顾它们
That's going to be on there. Now I've done that. That's 72 images.
这下我的脚又要上那个网站了 凑够72张了
What's wrong? I'm helping them.
怎么了 我在帮他们
Some people commented, though.
不过有人评论了
There was a guy that commented, Rex commented.
有个人评论了 叫Rex
He said, "You would get a gorgeous rating from me no matter what.
他说“我会给你一个非常高的分数
You are one of the most beautiful people on the planet."
你是世界上最美好的人之一”
He did not mention my feet, specifically.
他没有具体指我的脚
But that was implied. You know, it's the whole package.
不过也囊括在内了 直接评价了我整个人
