I love having you here, Andy. You know, I miss my staff, and there's one person who's usually.

安迪 有你在我很高兴 我想念我的员工们了 有一个人

Every time you talk to me, you realize how much you miss everyone else.

每次你跟我说话的时候 都会想起来你有多想别人

That's right. I've had you here long enough.

没错 你在我这儿待的够久了

I miss-- there's one person that I really, really miss.

我想念 有一个人我特别想

My executive producer, Mary.

我的监制人 玛丽

Obviously, she can't be in the house with me because of the rash.

和明显 她不能到我家来 因为她有疹子

But I do love Mary, and I wish she was here.

但我很爱玛丽 真希望她能在这里

So look what I made. Look at that. It looks just like Mary, doesn't it?

看我做了什么 看啊 很像玛丽 是吧？

I'm glad you're here. Take a nap. Oh, you know what?

很高兴你来了 休息一下吧 哦 你知道吗？

I don't want her to take a nap. I want her to be here near Andy.

我不想让她休息 我想让她跟艾迪待一起

There she is. OK. OK. There. All right.

她在那儿 好 好 那儿 好

Mary probably wishes she was at work because she has two kids at home that's been-- oh, that's got to be hard.

玛丽可能很希望能回去上班 因为她家有两个小神兽 哦 太难了

And she's homeschooling both of them.

她在家给俩娃上课

And a lot of parents have been posting videos while they're stuck at home with their kids,

很多家长跟孩子一起待在家的时候 都有发视频

which means it's time for my segment, why I don't have kids, quarantine edition.

到了“我为什么不要孩子 隔离版”的环节了

All right. I forgot my glasses again. Every time.

好 我又忘记眼镜了 每次都忘

I don't know why I-- Oh. Why not just leave them on the table?

不知道为啥 哦 怎么不直接放桌子上呢？

That's what I usually do. And then I move them for something else, so-- OK, Grandma.

一般都在桌上 然后我又拿到别处了 所以 好吧 奶奶

You know what? Hold on one second. I forgot something over here again.

等一下 我又忘了个东西

Rah!

啊！

Did I scare you, Andy? I got scared.

我吓到你了吗 安迪？吓到了

I even scared Andy. Oh boy. We have fun, huh?

我吓到安迪了 哦天 玩得很高兴 对吧？

Andy, what are-- Oh. I'm doing the kids.

安迪 我们 哦 要放孩子们

That's what I'm-- why I don't have kids.

我为什么 不要孩子

Are you enjoying your nuts still?

你还在吃坚果吗？

I still am, and I like that you put some raisins in them.

对啊 你在里面加了葡萄干 真好

I like a raisin. Yes. This video was posted by Jess.

我喜欢葡萄干 嗯 这个视频来自Jess

She was checking in on her kids while they were doing schoolwork.

她在检查孩子们做作业

That was super good. I know, right?

超级棒 是啊 对吧？

I kicked it over the goalie in the middle top corner. Yes.

我把球踢过了守门员的球门上角 是啊

What are you working on? Get out of here, lady.

你们在干嘛呢？走开 女士

Get out of here, lady. That's what I say to Portia when I'm working on my LEGOs.

走开 女士 我在玩乐高的时候 也会跟波西娅这么说

This video was posted by Claire.

这个视频来自Claire

She left her daughter alone for a couple of minutes, and this is what happened.

她让女儿自己待了几分钟 发生了这一幕

Oh, God.

哦天

Oh, my God. Oh my f--

哦 我的天哪

Oh, my God. Chloe, you've absolutely ruined this.

天哪 Chloe 你搞了大破坏

Well, first of all, the good news is thanks to the quarantine, you have a lot of time to fix that.

首先 好消息是多亏了隔离 你有充足的时间去打扫

She said she left her daughter alone for a couple of minutes.

她说她让女儿自己待了几分钟

Is that possible, tWitch, to leave a child alone for a couple of minutes and that kind of damage?

可能吗 推奇 孩子能在几分钟内搞出那种破坏？

I hope not because that stresses me out.

希望不能 我太有压力了

That was awful. I can't even imagine.

非常糟糕 不敢想象

She looked like she had a nice house before.

她家之前看起来挺整洁的

All right. This video was posted by Whitney.

好 这个视频来自Whitney

She left her kids outside-- she let her kids outside for some fresh air.

她放孩子们出去呼吸点新鲜空气

This is what they did.

他们做了这件事

What are you guys doing? Um, just drawing marker with it. Who did this?

你们在干啥呀？额 用马克笔画呀 谁干的？

Me.

我

Oh, my God. Wow. Wow.

哦 天哪 哇 哇

This is why you have to take the quarantine seriously.

所以大家一定要认真对待隔离

Lock the kids inside. I cannot believe that she was so calm, too.

把孩子们锁起来 不敢相信她竟然那么淡定

Wow. I can't see them, so if you wanting me to chime in, I can't.

哇哦 我看不见 所以如果你想让我说两句的话 爱莫能助了

No, tWitch and I are seeing them.

不用 我和推奇在看呢

You don't need to see them. OK.

你不需要看 好

If your kids do something that remind me why I don't have kids, please send it to me.

如果你的孩子们做了让我不想要孩子的事 请发给我看看