I'm a celebrity and-- You know that.

我是个名人 你们知道的

But I do things the same as you.

但我也会做跟你们一样的事

And I went the other day to do some shopping.

前几天我去买点东西

And just like you, I go in for one thing and then I end up with 40 things.

跟你们一样 去的时候只想买一样东西的 结果最后买了40件

And unlike you, I pay with a gold bar, but--

跟你们不一样的是 我是用金条付款的 不过

I noticed while I was shopping that sometimes stores have regular products, but then they have lady products.

我在购物的时候发现 有时候店里会有普通产品 不过也有专为女性设计的产品

Have you noticed that? Which is the same thing, but pink.

大家发现了吗？换汤不换药 只不过女性款是粉色的

And they have pink razors, and they have pink deodorant.

有粉色的剃刀 粉色的除臭剂

And now I found something else that comes-- here's the first thing right there.

我发现了其他几样东西 这是第一个

It is a gentle laxative tablet.

是一款比较温和的泻药片

And I won't tell you why I bought them, I'll just tell you who I bought them for-- Mary.

我不会告诉你们为啥要买泻药 我只告诉你们我是帮谁买的——Mary

Well, you asked me to buy them, Mary.

你让我帮你买的呀 Mary

Let's call that exhibit A, because I don't want to say the word laxative again.

我们把它叫做展品A吧 我不想再说泻药这个词了

And then this is here.

然后还有这个

This is exhibit B, women's gentle laxative tablets in pink, of course.

这是展品B 女款温和泻药片 自然是粉色的了

That's how you know it's safe for a lady to take.

这样一看就知道女性能喝

Both bottles are the same price because they have the same thing inside.

两瓶价格是一样的 毕竟里面的东西也是一样的

I'm kidding. The pink one has 40 fewer tablets.

逗你们的 粉色的要少40片

I know that's not a good deal, because I ask a man to do the math.

我知道我买的不划算 我找了个男的帮我算过了

This-- this is insane. Same amount of money, 40 less tablets.

真是不可思议 同样的价钱 却少了40片

That's not the most ridiculous thing I found.

这个东西还不是最荒谬的

Because then I went over to Office Depot.

我还去办公用品区看了下

I didn't need anything, but I just wanted to sniff the markers.

我啥都不需要 就是想去闻闻马克笔的味道

And then I found this. And it's a super cute emergency escape hammer.

然后发现了这个 是个特别可爱的紧急逃生锤

If you get in a car accident, you can use this to cut your seat belt or break a window.

如果你遇到车祸 可以用这个剪断安全带或者砸开窗户

As you can see, it's pink and shiny.

大家能看到 闪粉闪粉的

That's why I was immediately drawn to it.

所以我一下就被吸引过去了

And if you look right here, it says, get out, girl.

看这里 写着“快出来 女孩儿”

No, you get out, super cute emergency escape hammer.

不 你快出来 超级可爱的紧急逃生锤

Apparently, the lady car accidents are adorable.

很明显 女性的车祸更可爱一些

And there's not even a mirror.

这上面连个镜子都没有

How am I supposed to check my makeup after I drive into a lake?

我要是开到湖里去了 怎么看妆有没有花呢

I don't understand. They sell a non-lady version that looks like this, but that's yellow.

我不懂 还有一款非女性版的 长这样 是黄色的

That doesn't make me want to get it.

看着就不想买

Plus, how do I get my little lady hands around something this big?

而且 这么大的东西 我这小女生的手怎么握得住呢

The yellow hammer's $8. The pink one is $12.

黄色的锤子是8美元 粉色的12美元

Once again, we're paying more for less.

又是这种情况 我们花的钱更多 买到的却更少

We don't want pink hammers. We don't want pink laxatives.

我们不想要粉色的锤子 也不稀罕粉色的泻药片

We want the same thing for the same price.

我们想要同物同价

And a changing room with decent lighting.

还有灯光很亮的更衣室

That's what we want. And a Friends reunion, that's what we want.

这才是我们想要的 还有《老友记》重聚 就这些

We're going to make that happen.

一定会实现的