So if you've been watching my show lately you may have noticed that it's been a little--

如果大家最近看了我的节目 可能会发现它有点儿

what's the word, would you say? Filthy? OK.

怎么说的来着 你们 污秽？好

And if you haven't been watching, shame on you.

如果你们没看 那就太丢脸了

Here's a little bit of what you've missed.

这就是你错过的内容

Penis. Vagina. Vibrator. Bitch. Bitch.

阴茎 阴道 震动器 婊子 婊子.

No. You can't say that again. you, Ellen.

不行 你不能重复说 艾伦

You're full of . Vagina. Vagina.

你真是 阴道 阴道

Do you believe that?

你敢相信吗？

Vagina.

阴道

Name three words for making love.

说出做爱的三个词

Sex, and when my mother calls me and goes, "Why did you say on TV?"

性 还有我妈打电话问我 “你为啥在电视上说那个词？”

Well, she's going to say, "Why'd you say twice."

她会说 “你为啥要说两遍？”

All right. I like that you're applauding my filth.

好 很高兴大家会为我的污秽鼓掌

I like it. If that's what you want, I'll give you more of it.

我喜欢 如果这是你们的菜 那我就多多益善了

That's what I'll do. Oh, yeah. That's right.

我会的 哦 嗯 没错

Well, except that I'm told now we have a censor.

不过现在我们多了个审查人

And I don't think it's necessary, but he's over there.

我觉得没必要 不过他在那儿

His name is Dave. Hi, Dave.

他叫Dave 嗨 Dave

You better watch it, DeGeneres. Wow.

你最好小心点 德杰尼勒斯 哇

You better watch it. I didn't do anything, yet.

注意点 我还啥都没做呢

But I'll be on my best behavior, Dave.

不过我会乖乖的 Dave

And so you're going to be there all the time with that?

你是要一直待在这里吗？

From now on, yes. Wow.

从现在开始 没错 哇

And the button bleeps me if you need to?

有必要的话 你会按哔键？

Yes, it does. All right. All right.

没错 好吧 好吧

I'm going to test out some phrases.

我要测试一些语言

Fire away, Ellen, fire away. All right.

来吧 艾伦 来吧 好

Shut the front door. Shut the front door.

关上前门 关上前门

There's nothing wrong with shut the front door.

关上前门没任何毛病啊？

See? See how you're jumpy?

对吧？看你多神经了吧？

One of my favorite new games on Game of Games is, "Oh ship!"

游戏之王里我最喜欢的一个新游戏是“Oh ship”

Ship. With a P? Yes. OK. See? All right.

Ship 带P的 对 好 懂了吧？好

I want to use my telescope to get a good look at Uranus.

我想用我的望远镜好好看看天王星

The planet, Uranus. Tricky. Tricky. It is tricky.

行星 天王星 有歧义 有歧义 确实

Whenever I go to Home Depot I always buy a lot of chalk.

我每次去家得宝的时候 都会买很多粉笔

Caulk. Caulk. I fell into a manhole and damaged my coccyx.

密封剂 密封剂 我掉进检修孔里 弄伤了尾骨

Coccyx, it's a thing on your spine. Is that right? Yes, coccyx is--

尾骨 是脊柱的一部分 对吧？对 尾骨是

those were totally clean.

这些完全不污啊

So that was a waste of time. OK.

真是浪费时间 好

We'll be right back.

马上回来