Ladies and gentlemen, take a seat, welcome to the show.
女士们先生们 请坐 欢迎收看我们节目
We're going to start with a news story that has gripped the nation, dare I say it, the world.
喔下面要说的这件事震动了全美国 甚至可以说全世界
And it's tough, it's tough when you've got to hear this sort of stuff but it's my job,
我很难受 听到这种消息我也很难受 但没办法这就是我的工作
so I'm just going to get in there and say it because after a whirlwind three months,
所以我想说的是 在飞快的三个月过去之后
Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston— Are ending their relationship.
泰勒·斯威夫特和汤姆·希德勒斯顿——分手了
I'm going to give everybody a moment. Don't you dare.
我允许你们伤心一会儿 你还敢笑
As soon as Taylor's band heard about the break up, they were like yeah, yeah, we know,
泰勒的乐队一收到分手的消息 马上反应过来 嗯嗯 我们知道
we're headed to the studio now.
我们在去录音室的路上了
Now a lot of news says that they are calling this the Hiddlesplit and some other news
很多新闻给这一事件起了名字 有叫希勒特分手的 有叫
organizations called it Splitswift or the Hiddlerift and whatever term you go with,
斯威夫特分手的 还有希勒特威夫特的 随便你们怎么叫吧
one thing is for sure, journalism is dead.
有件事是肯定的 报纸业瘫痪了
Now I don't know if you remember back in the glory days of this relationship, Tom wore this shirt.
不知道你们还记不得记得 在两人关系很好的时候 汤姆曾经穿过这件衣服
That's right, he wore a shirt that said I heart TS.
是的 汤姆穿的这件衣服上写着 我爱TS
I don't know if Tom is taking this well because this morning, he was found wearing this shirt.
不知道汤姆现在状态怎么样 因为今天上午 有人拍到他穿了这件衣服
Now speaking of falling out of love, I don't know if you saw this,
说到失恋 不知道你们看到这条新闻没有 最近堪萨斯城一位
but recently a 70 year old man in Kansas city was arrested for robbing his local bank.
70岁的老人因抢劫当地银行而被捕
And he said he committed the crime because he prefers prison to continuing to live with his wife.
他说他抢银行是因为他宁愿坐牢也不想再跟自己的妻子住在一起

This guy is going to be so upset when he finds out there is a thing called divorce.
如果他发现这世界上有个东西叫离婚的话 那他可要很难过了
Do you know what I mean? Let's have a look at the photo.
你们明白我意思吗 来看张照片
Right, now you may not be that sympathetic to this man, but here is the thing, that is his wife.
可能你们现在并不对这位男士有多同情 但是 照片中的人其实是他的妻子
Moving on to the world of technology, Apple had its big keynote address early today
再说说科技新闻 苹果今天召开专题发布会
and that is a major announcement about their product line.
对他们的产品线做了陈述
Apple mentioned soon you will be able to play Pokemon Go on your apple watch
苹果公司说用户很快将可以在苹果手表上玩精灵宝可梦
and they claimed since Pokemon Go has come out people have traveled a combined distance of
他们说自这个游戏发行以来人们的出行距离增加了
4.6 billion kilometers, right, yeah, I know.
46亿千米
Although in favors, half of that distance comes from people falling off cliffs.
当然其中一半的距离是因为掉下悬崖
But the biggest news from Apple's keynote address is that there will be no headphone jack on the iPhone 7.
但最重要的消息还是iphone 7将会取消耳机插口
And instead people will use these things, they are called AirPods as in, has anyone seen my AirPods?
于是大家都要开始使用Airpods 所以大家常挂在嘴边的一句话变成了 有人看见我的Airpods了吗
I have lost my AirPods, again.
我的Airpods又丢了
Where are my—you know, in the last 35 seconds, you know there are going to be a lot of
我的——于是在过去的35秒内 很多人会发现自己有
of people that have got four left AirPods, zero right.
4个左耳的耳机 右耳的一个都没有
Now the lack of a headphone jack has a lot of people incredibly angry, right.
取消耳机插口激怒了很多人
But I figured out a way to solve this problem. You can just get over it.
但我发现了一个解决这个问题的办法 就自己克服啊
It's a high-class problem. A high-class problem.
这是高端人士才会有的烦恼