Please be a five star ride.
拜托，希望是个五星好评之旅。
Five cheeseburgers.
五个芝士汉堡。
Five cheeseburgers.
五个芝士汉堡。
No onions, no pickles.
不要洋葱，不要腌菜。
No onions, no pickles.
不要洋葱，不要腌菜。
And just a sprinkle of cocaine.
然后再来少量可卡因。
They don't have cocaine.
他们这里没有可卡因。
Just a tiny little... I'm not going to, okay.
一点点就好...我不会问的，好吧。
LAPD. I got him.
洛杉矶警察局。我打中他了。
Lasik screwed up my eyes.
镭射视力矫正手术把我的眼睛弄惨了。
Dad, this is Uber.
爸爸，是优步。
I know what Uber is.
我知道优步是什么。
Then you know how easy it is to get a driver to take you anywhere you want to go.
那你就知道让一个司机带你去任何你想去的地方是多么方便了。

It will happen tonight.
今晚会有情况。
Hey! Uber? Yeah.
嗨！是优步吗？是啊。
Be cool. Be nice. Drive.
太好了。开车。
I'm Stu. How do you do?
我叫斯图。最近怎么样？
Koreatown, now!
去韩国城，现在！
Hold on. I'm going to bang a U here real quick. No, don't got it.
稍等。我要在这里掉个头。差一点。
LAPD. Take this gun.
洛杉矶警察局。拿着这把枪。
Why do you have so many guns? Are you trying to start a militia?
为什么你要带这么多枪？你是要组织自卫队吗？
Oh, another gun. Man, you are really over compensating.
哦，还有一把。伙计，你真是补偿过度了。
Is this an Uber? You ain't no cop!
这是一辆优步？你不是警察！
Hey! Don't do that! Oh, my God! This is on lease!
嗨！别这样！我的天啊！这是出租的！
You shot me!
你竟然开枪射我！
Got shot in the leg. Good for you, man. You shot your first guy.
腿部中枪。干得好，伙计。这是你开枪射的第一个人。
You're scaring me, Stu, and I love it!
你要吓死我了，斯图，不过我喜欢！
I got an idea!
我有个主意！
How do you know my dad?
你是怎么认识我爸爸的？
He kidnapped me.
他绑架了我。
We didn't kill anyone. Huh.
我们没杀人。哈。
Take a shot, Stu!
开枪啊，斯图！
Just defeat him!
你干掉他啊！
You take a shot!
你开枪啊！
I got this. Hello, operator, we need help. Someone's trying to murder us!
我有办法了。你好，接线员，我们需要帮助。有人要杀我们！
Hello, operator, we need help. Someone's trying to murder us! Okay. Okay.
你好，接线员，我们需要帮助。有人要杀我们！好吧，好吧。