The other day I was at the dentist and I picked up the most current magazine that they had in there.

前几天我去看牙医的时候 看了下他们那儿最新的杂志

And, of course, it was from 1996.

当然了 是1996年出版的

And I was on the cover. So, this is McCall's.

封面上是我 这是McCall's杂志

It's so weird to be in there, just waiting for your dentist,

这种感觉好奇怪 在里面等牙医的时候

and all of a sudden finding my head on the McCall's magazine from 1996.

突然间发现自己的头像出现在1996年的McCall's杂志上

It says, "Ellen DeGeneres. So famous so fast. Which rules did she break? Every one."

上面说 “艾伦·德杰尼勒斯 迅速爆红 她打破了哪条规则？所有规则”

I was like, which rules did I break? Was it every one, really?

我在想 我打破了哪些规则？竟然是所有 认真的吗？

Because it looked like click bait to me, but there was nothing to click, so I had to flip through the article.

我觉得这看起来像是点击诱饵 但也没什么好点击的 所以我得浏览完这篇文章

It was flip bait. And I didn't even remember doing this article.

是个浏览诱饵 我根本不记得参与过这篇文章

It was a long time ago.

那是很久以前了

To give you an idea how long ago it was, 1996 is when you all thought I was still straight.

为了让你们有个概念 1996年的时候 你们都还以为我性取向正常

But there were so many things that I forgot.

但我忘了很多事情

There's a quote in there that says-- I was promoting my first movie, Mr. Wrong.

那里面有句话说 我在宣传我的第一部电影《二见钟情之新好男人》

And then I was recording the narration for my Disney World ride, Ellen's Energy Adventure, which really turned out very wrong.

然后我又在录迪士尼世界交通工具上的解说词 “艾伦的能量冒险” 结果很不好

Yes. That's supposed to be me.

没错 那就是我

And I was supposed to not be offended.

我还不能觉得被冒犯了

I also completely forgot that I used to jump like this.

我完全不记得以前是这么跳的

This was in the magazine. You can see my expression.

这是在杂志里 大家可以看到我的表情

I regretted it immediately when I was in the air.

我腾空的瞬间就后悔了

And then there's a quote from the article, "Ellen has rubbery features and a talent for slapstick."

文章里有句话是 “艾伦有坚韧的品格 并且是位闹剧天才”

Thank you? Ew. So, I didn't make it through the whole article.

谢谢了？我没读完整篇文章

But since we're talking about old magazine covers, we'll talk about this one.

不过既然我们在说旧杂志封面 那就聊聊这个

This was an important one for me. Time magazine.

这个对我很重要 《时代》杂志

Then after I came out, this magazine came out. "Yep, she's too gay."

我出柜以后 这个杂志也出来了 “没错 她太gay里gay气了”

I've been on a lot of covers and things got better with time, literally.

我上过很多封面 随着时间的发展 一切越来越好

I made it on Time Magazine again.

我又上了《时代》杂志

This time, it was their cover for women who are changing the world.

这一次 他们做的是改变世界的女性

Then I was on the cover of Adweek.

然后我又上了Adweek杂志的封面

I have my foot up on the furniture. I'm really comfortable there.

我把脚放在椅子上 还挺舒服的

And I'm on the cover of Good Housekeeping.

然后我又上了Good Housekeeping杂志的封面

My housekeeper should've been on the cover, because she's good.

我的女管家应该上这个封面 她太优秀了

She's a better housekeeper.

她这个管家比我好

Then I was on the cover of Tugboats magazine, that was another one. Yes.

然后我又上了Tugboats杂志的封面 这是另一个 对

You can take that down now.

可以换掉了

And then, according to People magazine, "I finally found happiness."

然后 根据《人物》杂志 “我终于找到了幸福”

And so it all worked out in the end. Because I finally found it.

最终一切都成功了 因为我终于找到了

It turned out, I wasn't too gay after all. I was the right amount of gay.

事实证明 我一点都不过于gay 我的gay气刚刚好

But it's like Helen Keller once said, life is either a bold adventure or nothing at all.

但就像海伦·凯勒曾说过的那样 生活要么是一场大胆的冒险 要么一无所有

And I am grateful for everything that I went on. All of my entire journey.

我很感激自己曾经历的一切 我的一生

Except for the Ellen's Energy Adventure.

除了“艾伦的能量冒险”以外

I could have done without that one.

这部分可以删掉