Thank you. Thank you so much. I feel like Michelle Obama at the Grammys.
谢谢，非常感谢，米希尔·奥巴马出现在了格莱美奖R|_xovRbyC*PUyJV4ce。
Please. Please sit down. We're a hot crowd. You are a hot, hot crowd. Thank you, sir.
请坐下，现场很热烈，你们很热烈啊，谢谢先生们G|LgV!qtUai。
Yikes. I love having my dad at the show. It's great. Well, the 61st Grammy Awards were last night.
呀，我喜欢让我爸爸在节目里，很棒，昨晚是第六十一届格莱美颁奖7aZvGxG-[uKK@。
And Michelle Obama made a surprise appearance. Only...
米希尔·奥巴马突然现身，只是...
It was great. The only bigger surprise would be if President Trump appeared at the Latin Grammys.
很棒，如果小特总统出现在拉丁格莱美奖上出现，那才是最大的惊喜呢m&lA,!xJ,9q。
That would be.... Wow. I also saw that Nancy Pelosi got a standing ovation at a Grammy party this weekend. Yeah.
那就是，哦哦，听说南希·佩洛西周末在格莱美派对上接受了起立鼓掌C2zUtG^9_rGym。
Which was great until she realized they were all clapping like this.
太棒了，直到她发现他们都是这么鼓掌的#&;L|jyiTw18=,。
But I want to say congrats to Cardi B, who won the Grammy for Best Rap Album.
我想祝贺卡迪·B，她获得了格莱美的最佳说唱专辑moSoXtRkf~cH。
We love Cardi B. After she won, Cardi went onstage and talked about how nervous she was.
我喜欢卡迪·B，她获奖之后，卡迪·B走上台前，她谈论了她非常紧张L#TuQQ|M)u%J!。
Check out what she said. Ooh, the nerves are so bad. Maybe I need to start smoking weed.
来看看她是怎么说的，哦，我太紧张了，或许我需要吸食点烟草RX#*.8Gn^[=76VjN,^。
Then everyone in the crowd was like, You're at the Grammys. Just take a really deep breath.
在场的朋友们都在说，你是在格莱美，只需要深呼吸Sg4ocQeHBYomv3。
You get it? Let's get to some news. I read that Congress is offering Trump 2 billion dollars for his border wall
听懂了吗？听听新闻，听说国会为小特的边境墙提供了20亿美金，

instead of the 5.7 billion dollars that he asked for. Which means a lot of immigrants
而不是他要求的57亿美金j2eZp1Pl8V。这就意味着许多移民
will just bang their shins on the wall while they hop over. Tiny.
将用小腿敲击边境墙，同时翻墙越过，小意思qo=bVNrZ_Ew82*&qaish。
But Trump was examined by 11 specialists for four hours, and they said that he's in very good health.
但小特被11名专家检查了四个小时，他们说他的健康状况很好uvhUw&=DI_#&(=H。
Nothing says very good health like having to be examined by 11 specialists over four hours.
让11名医生检查四个多小时不可能身体好哦mnu~TC@Hp0RHC).。
Even E.T. only had five specialists. Some more political news.
即使是外星人也只有五名专家，来看看政治新闻kgHR4DaLw-yk)|Wcj8_。
This weekend, Minnesota senator Amy Klobuchar announced that she's running for president in an outdoor rally in the middle of a blizzard.
本周末，明尼苏达州参议员埃米·克洛布彻在暴风雪中，在户外的集会上宣布竞选总统JVA(^9wo;vbiMT)Qd1hJ。
And this is real. Just take a look. This is her at the beginning of the rally.
这是真的，里看看，这就是她在集会刚开始时的表现P##MF=^M(YcKe2wnxUl#。
Now, we don't let a little snow stop us. Yeah. Yeah. And here she is at the end of the rally.
我们不会让小雪阻止我们，没错没错，这是她在集会进程一半时的样子DwGt3Ttkin[38CH4na]。
A chorus of different faiths, races, creeds... Wow. I think...
一群有不同信仰，不同种族，不同教条，哦哦，我认为mChn(EVJZF。
I think we have a shot of one of her supporters in the crowd. Take a look. There, yeah. Wow.
我想我们有支持者在人群中的照片，来看看，好吧，耶耶j_]M-L=f%j6&rH。
Well, after Klobuchar's event, the President tweeted about it. And he said,
在克洛布彻活动之后，小特推特了一下，他说，
By the end of her speech, she looked like a snowman(woman).
在演讲结束时，她很像雪人u^Em(!Y66NK~cq。
And he was like, The difference between a snowman and a snowwoman is where you stick the carrot.
他说雪人和女雪人的区别是你在哪里放胡萝卜IJeAc029o&rtS。
What are you doing? It's the nose. It's the nose. Finally, Valentine's Day is this Thursday.
你在干嘛？这是鼻子，这是鼻子，最后周四就是情人节了]34XHpLo5RtRia#Iw。
And I saw that if you go to Hooters....if you go to Hooters, you can shred a photo of your ex and get free wings.
听说如果你去猫头鹰餐厅，如果你去猫头鹰餐厅，你可以撕碎前男女友的照片，然后得到免费鸡翅9K@kT%t,QVrou。
It's fun until you realize that you got back at your ex by eating alone at a Hooters on Valentine's Day.
很有趣，直到你发现为了惩罚前男女友，你自己在情人节这天独自来到了猫头鹰rx|(WIc!gGyy。