Have a seat. Thank you so much for all that love.

大家请坐 谢谢你们的爱

Oh man, I appreciate the love in this room so much.

天 我真的太感谢观众们满满的爱了

If I were an emoji, my eyes would be hearts right now.

如果我是个表情 那我的双眼现在就是心形的

Yeah, so Apple just released a whole bunch of new emojis.

对 苹果最近上线了一些新表情

If you have an iPhone, you have 70 new emojis.

如果你用的是苹果手机 那你就有70个新表情可以用

If you have an Android, probably different emojis.

如果你用的是安卓 那可能是不一样的表情

And if you have a landline, why?

如果你用的是固话 什么情况？

And then you have to draw your own emojis and fax them to people.

那你就得把表情画下来 传真给别人了

They added a lot of fun emojis though.

不过他们新加了一些很有趣的表情

This is a freezing face that they show-- that'll come in handy here in LA when it drops into the high 60s.

这是表示很冷的表情 等洛杉矶降到15度的时候 这个表情就很实用了

Lot of people are confused about this one.

这个表情让很多人都困惑不解

This nobody knows what that is exactly.

没人知道这是啥意思

I think it means I just got some novocain at the dentist, or I use Groupon to get Botox. I don't know.

我感觉它的意思是牙医刚给我打了针麻醉剂 或者是我团购买保妥适（药名） 谁知道呢

I like whenever they come out with new emojis. I think they're good.

他们一出新表情 我就很开心 做的还挺好

But honestly, I can improve on them because I have my own emojis.

但说实话 我还能给他们改进一下 我也有自己的表情

So first, I'm going to show you what their emojis are

首先 我会给大家看一下他们的表情长啥样

and then I'm going to show you what my new emojis are that I'm adding to my Emoji Exploji app.

然后再给大家看我改良后加到Emoji Exploji软件里的版本

For instance, this is their new one.

比如 这是他们新出的一个

It's a petri dish and a Petri dish.

是个有盖培养皿 培养皿

I call it tomato, tomato. It's pretty gross.

西红柿 番茄 挺恶心的

You see all the germs in there and all the bacteria.

里面有很多细菌和病菌

But I'm adding something even dirtier and grosser than a Petri dish, the remote control at a hotel.

不过我加了一些比培养皿更恶心更脏的东西 酒店里的遥控器

Yep, yeah. Any hotel, any-- That's your remote control you're touching.

对 没错 任何酒店 这就是你用的遥控器

Also they released a new mosquito emoji.

他们还发布了一个新的蚊子表情

What about other insects? I did this one. It's a gnat.

那其他昆虫呢？我做了这个 是个小昆虫

Yeah, they're annoying. They're very annoying.

嗯 它们特别吵 特别烦人

Here's another one. That's a bagel with cream cheese.

这是另一个 奶油百吉饼

I like that. In fact, I'm going to add one. There's mine.

我喜欢 其实 我要加一个 这是我做的

That's gluten free. So they've added a lot of emojis of people's heads.

是无谷蛋白的 他们加了很多人头表情

But I think a floating head is kind of weird. So I've added a body.

但我感觉飘着一个大脑袋挺奇怪的 于是我就加了个身体

All emojis come from Palm Springs apparently.

这些表情明显都来自棕榈泉

Finally, I saw this emoji right here. That's a lab coat.

最后 我看到了这个表情 是一件实验服

Not useful to me. But I made my own coat.

对我来说没用 所以我做了件自己的外套

So I'm adding this. This is my EV one jacket, which reminds me--

所以我加了这个 这是我的EV1夹克 让我想起了

Yeah, it's my jacket.

对 我的夹克

You can find my EV1 line at Walmart.

这款沃尔玛有卖哦

And you can find my new emojis and lots of other games and great ones on my Emoji Exploji app.

我的Emoji Exploji软件上还有很多新表情和其他好玩的游戏

Download it at the App Store or Google Play.

可以在App Store或Google Play上下载哦

And right now I'm going to bring out this guy right here. That's tWitch.

现在有请这位 这是推奇

Oh, tWitch, that was great. That was fun.

哦 推奇 太棒了 很好玩儿

It was hard for me to tell which tWitch was which. I know. This is mine too.

我都分不清哪个是真的你了 是啊 那都是我

I said wear the same outfit, and you found it. You did it.

我让你穿件一样的衬衫 你穿了 你做到了

Absolutely, we got it. Yes, you did.

绝对的 没问题 嗯