It is Throwback Thursday, and as many of you know I recently threw my back out.

今天是重返周四日 很多人都知道 我最近伤了背

For those of you following the progress, I'm feeling better.

跟担心我的人说一下 我好多了

My back needed a little TLC, tender loving codeine.

我的背需要做个TLC检查 还需要点温柔的可待因（毒品）

And I hurt my back-- I tripped on those steps over there, and that's what happened.

我伤到背了 我在那边的台阶上绊了一下 就这样

I tripped, and anyway.

我被绊倒了

I wish I could say that was my only mistake I made this season, but it's not.

我倒希望那是我这一季犯的唯一的错误 但不是的

Couple of weeks ago I was playing a game called What's In Your Wallet where I steal things out of the audience's wallets.

几周前 我们玩了个“你的钱包里有什么”的游戏 我从观众的钱包里偷东西出来看

We're not going to play that today.

今天我们不玩这个

But anyway, I was going to give one of my contestants a jacket from my EV1 line at Walmart, and here's what happened.

不过呢 我打算给一名选手送我在沃尔玛出售的EV1夹克 当时是这样

Turn those off. OK. All right. Turn that off.

把那些关掉 好 好 关掉

You also get a-- I know. It's hard.

你还得到了 我知道 不好弄

You also get $500 Visa gift card. Oh my god!

你还得到了一张500美元的礼品卡 哦我的天

Turn that off. Let's see. I'm kind of shaking, so.

把它关掉 看一下 我感觉自己在颤抖

That's OK. Do you like my jacket that I'm wearing?

没关系 你喜欢我穿的夹克吗？

I love your jacket that you're wearing.

喜欢

Guess what? It's my new line at Walmart, EV1, and look how cute it is on the back.

猜一下 这是我在沃尔玛新上线的EV1夹克 看背后多可爱

Yeah. So I want to give you one.

是的 我想送你一件

Oh, I changed! Oh my god. That's hilarious.

哦 我换衣服了 天啊 太搞笑了

I just changed and from the last show.

我刚录完上一期节目 换衣服了

And I completely forgot I changed clothes.

我完全忘记了

We'll cut this out. We won't cut this out.

我们把这一段剪掉 还是不剪了

I just turn around, and go look at me!

我直接转身说 看我！

That's what. Yeah. So I had it on.

是这件 嗯 我之前穿的是送她那件

You don't understand this, but sometimes we do two shows in one day.

大家可能不明白 有时候我们会在一天内录两期节目

So I change clothes to make it look like another day, and I'd had that jacket on.

所以我会换衣服 感觉就像新的一天一样 我之前穿的是送她的那个夹克

And she just plays along.

她很配合我

I go look at the back, and she's like, oh yeah.

我让她看我背后 她就说真好看

And then a few days later, this happened.

几天后 又发生了这件事

You have to catch your breath, right?

你得歇一会儿 对吧

I do. All right.

是的 好

So it's time for our segment A Really Cute Video To Watch While Twitch Catches His Breath.

现在到了“在推奇休息时看特别可爱的视频”环节了

That's a kitten, on a head of a dog.

这是一只喵 踩在一只狗的头上

He can't fit through there. Look how cute that kitten and that dog are.

狗狗过不来 看这狗和猫多么可爱

I want both of them. Oh. I forgot.

两只我都想收了 哦 我忘记了

In rehearsal I said there should be a guitar here when it comes out, and I forgot.

彩排的时候 我说放这个视频的时候旁边要有一把吉他 我自己忘记了

Timing is everything. I'm not the only one who messed up lately.

时机就是一切啊 我不是最近唯一一个出错的人

Our cat mascot was kicking off Cat Week, and this happened.

我们的猫吉祥物在给猫周开场的时候 发生了这件事

Ladies and gentlemen, today girls and boys, Democrats and Republicans,

女士们先生们 今天 姑娘们小伙们 民主党和共和党们

blondes and brunettes, today is the first day of Cat Week.

白姑娘和黑姑娘们 今天是“猫周”的第一天

Honestly, until his head came off, I thought that was a real cat.

说真的 在他的头掉下来之前 我一直都以为那是只真猫

I was like that cat can dance.

我还在想 那只猫会跳舞

And then I made the biggest mistake ever.

后来 我又犯了最大的错误

And this-- oh my audience was so upset when I did.

我这么做的时候 观众们可不开心了

This Bill Gates was here.

是比尔·盖茨来这里做客

And I guess I wasn't thinking properly.

应该是我考虑的不周到

So I still be viewed as conservative.

大家还是觉得我很保守

So nothing really changed.

其实没有发生真正的改变

So you didn't say, oh I'm going to buy a Porche.

你没有说 哦 我要去买辆保时捷

I did. That I did. You did.

我买了 车我买了 好吧

Then eventually for my travel I got a plane, which was a huge indulgence.

最后为了旅行 我买了架飞机 这真的是放纵了一把

So those are my two-- So you have a Porche and a plane, and that's it.

所以这是我的两个 你有一辆保时捷和一架飞机 就这

Well, in terms of crazy things, yeah.

要说比较疯狂的东西 就这两样

Well, we want to do something for you,

我们想为你做点事

because we love you, and Shutterfly loves inspiring stories like this.

因为我们爱你 Shutterfly喜欢这种激励人心的故事

So they want to give you a check for $20,000. Aw

所以他们想送你一张2万美元的支票 嗷