People come up to me all the time and ask me the same question over and over again.
人们一直来找我 不断问我相同的问题
"Will you marry me?" And another question they ask is
你会嫁给我么？他们问的另一个问题是
"Why don't you have kids?" And I love kids, I really do.
为什么你没有孩子？我喜欢孩子 真的喜欢
I love babies, I love kids.
我喜欢小婴儿 喜欢孩子
They're cute, they're funny, they're sweet,
他们可爱 有趣 而且亲切
but sometimes I'll see a picture it reminds me of why
但有时我看见的照片会提醒我
I don't have kids, and it gave me an idea for a new segment
为什么我没有孩子 它也让我对这部分有了一个想法

that I'm calling "Why I Don't Have Kids."
我称它为“为什么我没有孩子”
All right, this first one is from an Instagram account called Kids Are the Worst.
好了 这是第一个 来自一个叫做“孩子是最坏的”的Instagram账户
Ugh. That's a screwdriver in her hand, and she just carved, "I love my dad," right into his car.
哈…她手里有一个螺丝刀 她只是雕刻了“我爱我的爸爸”恰好在爸爸的车上
That's a sweet sentiment, it really is.
这是一种甜蜜的感情 真的
You should see what she did-- did you see what she did for Mother's Day? Mm.
你应该看见她干了什么 你看见她在母亲节干了什么吗？嗯
Yeah. This next one was sent in by Kenny Roberts from La Crescenta, California.
是 下一个是由肯尼·罗伯茨提供 他来自加利福尼亚La Crescenta
Oh. But she's cute. She's part--I think she's half-Italian, half-terrier.
噢 但是她很可爱 她是… 我认为她一半是意大利人，一半是小猎狗
By the way, both of those kids are up for immediate adoption.
顺便说一句 这些孩子的照片都是直接采用的
This is from an Instagram account called Moms Who Need Wine.
这个来自Instagram账户账户名叫做 需要酒的妈妈
Well, first of all, don't all moms need wine?
哦 首先 不是所有的妈妈都需要酒么？
I don't know. This is what they posted.
我不知道 这就是他们贴出的
Mm. Mm-mm. No. It truly sucks to be a little brother.
嗯 嗯嗯 不 作为小弟弟这真是糟透了
Nothing's gonna come out of there no matter how much they do that.
没有什么能从那出来 不管他们干了多少
This last one was sent in from Nikos Carly from Studio City, California.
最后一个由尼克斯·卡里提供 他来自加利福尼亚影视城
You know, who leaves kids with a bucket of paint?
你知道的 谁会给孩子留下一桶油漆?
"Mommy's gonna run out to the store now, so here's some paint."
妈妈现在去商店了 这里有一些油漆
Ah, this is why I love that you have kids and I don't.
啊 这就是我为什么庆幸你有孩子而我没有
If you have any pictures you think that I should see, please send it to me.
如果你有可以给我看看的照片 那就寄过来