I want to talk today about Hooters.

今天我想聊聊猫头鹰餐厅

I know what you're thinking-- oh, that silly

我知道你们在想什么 哦 太傻了

Ellen is going to trick us and show us a cute web video of some owls, because she said Hooters.

艾伦要给我们看一些可爱的猫头鹰视频了 因为她刚才提到了猫头鹰

No. You don't know me. No.

才不是呢 你们太不了解我了 不是的

Today, I'm going to talk about boobies.

今天 我要来说说大胸

Although if you have a cute owl video, send it to me, because I love owls and I love cute videos.

当然了 如果你们有可爱的猫头鹰视频 那就发给我吧 我喜欢猫头鹰和可爱的视频

But here's the headline that I want to talk about, right here.

不过我想说的是这个新闻标题

Hooters Forced To Close Restaurants Because Millennials Aren't That Into Breasts Anymore.

猫头鹰餐厅被迫关闭 因为千禧一代已经对大胸美女失去了兴趣

For some reason, the millennials are not into the ta-tas,

不知道为啥 千禧一代不喜欢塔塔斯

or the jugs, the knockers, the headlights, the honk-honks, the Smothers Brothers.

也不喜欢水壶 大灯 喇叭声 史墨瑟兄弟

I don't know what they're called these days.

不知道他们现在叫什么

Anyway, this is really bad news for Hooters.

总之呢 这对猫头鹰餐厅来说真是坏消息

It's terrible news for Dolly Parton. Really.

对Dolly Parton（有“宏伟”胸部的美国歌手）来说简直是噩耗

According to the article, millennials are less interested in breasts than older people.

这篇文章里面说 跟年龄大点的人相比 千禧一代不那么喜欢大胸

So Hooters announced a plan for closing more stores.

所以猫头鹰餐厅宣布要关闭更多门面

So they're going to put a giant bra around them and men won't be able to get them open.

他们要用一个很大的胸罩围在餐厅周围 让男人们解不开

Because they can't-- I did some research, and it turns out Hooters has been having problems for a while.

因为他们不能 我研究了下 发现猫头鹰餐厅出现问题不是一天两天儿了

I made a chart of their business over the years.

我给他们这几年的业务做了个表

It really was up, down, and then up again.

就是先上 再下 然后又上去了

I thought if I leaned it would make the joke funnier.

如果我把身子侧一下 这个玩笑就更搞笑了

That's not a real chart.

那个表是假的

To be fair, Hooters says they've tried everything.

说实在话 猫头鹰餐厅说他们想尽了一切办法

Except for changing the waitresses' uniforms and making better food.

就是没有给女服务员换工装 也没有把饭菜做得更好

But that's what they-- but this is just an idea.

这就是他们 这就是个想法而已

Maybe it is possible the guys could have their meals without a side of female objectification.

也许男人们也可以在没有女服务员在侧的情况下进餐呢

Maybe. I don't know.

也许 不知道

Or maybe-- maybe women have more to offer than short shorts and jalapeno poppers.

也或许 或许女人们能提供的不光是超短裤和火爆辣椒呢