Ladies and gentlemen, Valentine's Day is about a week away,
女士们先生们 情人节还有一周就要到了
and a lot of people around this time of year feel the pressure to couple-up.
很多人每到今年的这个时刻就会感觉到找对象的压力
One couple in Orange County is definitely feeling it
奥兰蒂县的一对情侣显然是其中之一
because Artie Vann and Erica Harris have been messaging each other on Instagram.
阿蒂·范恩和艾力卡·哈里斯在ins上互发消息已经很久了
And they met at the airport for the first time on Friday
他们周五在机场第一次见面
where they got married ten minutes later in baggage reclaim.
十分钟后就在行李领取处结婚了
I know you're thinking this doesn't sound like a good idea.
我知道你们可能会觉得听起来并不算一件好事
And after seeing this story you can see why Instagram shut itself down.
看了这个故事 你就知道为什么ins要关门了
You leap into that like there's no tomorrow and that's what we're doing.
我们立刻决定结婚 就好像明天再也不会来了一样 就这样
For months their romance grew with original poetry along with videos.
几个月来 随着互相发视频 念诗 他们的感情迅速升温

Artie bought a one-way plane ticket then:
阿蒂一张单程的飞机票
Oh my gosh. Hi, I'm Erica.
天 我是艾力卡
Artie pops the question.
阿蒂问了个问题
Your advice to all these love-seekers out there.
你对那些还在寻找另一半的人想说什么
Don't listen to your thoughts. Don't listen to your head.
不要听从你的大脑的声音
Follow your heart. Follow your soul.
跟着心走 跟着灵魂走
I mean is it purposeful that meeting at the airport?
在机场见面合适吗
Because you know that both of these people have a lot of baggage.
你们都知道对方有一大堆行李
You know, you have to say it is nice that someone found love on Instagram or as I report this story next week,
不得不说 能够在ins上找到自己的另一半是件好事 但是 要是像我上周讲到的那条新闻一样呢
someone found their murderer on Instagram.
在ins上认识了一个人 结果对方是个杀人犯
Can we—take a look at the photo of this guy again, look at that.
我们——再看看这张照片 看
The guy proposed and got married with a bluetooth in his ear!
这个人求婚和结婚的时候 耳朵里居然还塞着蓝牙耳机
I hope the person on the other end of the headset was like, what are you doing?
我希望耳机另一头的人在对他喊 你干嘛呢
I'm kidding, there's never been another person on the other end of a bluetooth.
开玩笑的 耳机另一头并没有人
Anyway, if you'd like to get the couple a wedding gift,
如果你想给这对夫妻准备结婚礼物的话
they're registered at Hudson News, burger king,
要记得他们的注册地可能是哈德逊新闻
and one of those tiny kiosks that only sell bottled water and hummus.
汉堡王 或者是那些只卖瓶装水和豆泥的小商店
But these two weren't the only people looking for love online.
这两位并不是唯一一对在网上找另一半的
It turns out, an associate of Osama bin Laden's, who is currently being held prisoner in Guantanamo bay
最近有人发现 现正关押于关塔那摩湾的奥沙马·本·拉登的一位合伙人
was recently found to have a match.com profile.
在寻伴网上有个人信息
True story.
这是真事儿
Well, I guess we now know the answer to the question your place or mine?
现在我们知道怎么回答去你家还是去我家这个问题了
In order to update his profile from prison, he writes letters to his lawyer. Right?
为了更新他的个人信息 他还给律师写了信
This guy writes updates about a wide variety of things,
这个人在信中写了一大堆需要更新的东西
for example, about Catilyn Jenner he wrote, I am happy for her because people are born the way they are.
比如 提到凯特琳·詹纳 他写到 我很开心能够看到人们生来的本性
I know. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I think I have just found my favorite member of Al Qaeda.
我明白 我也不敢相信 我居然找到了基地组织中我最喜欢的一个人
I'm not saying I like him, you know, he's just my favorite.
我不是说我喜欢他 而是 他是我最喜欢的那个
It's a low bar. It's a low bar.
这是个放低了的门槛
He's the best of a bad bunch.
我只是觉得 他是那一群坏人里最好的那个
Do you think his opening line with women was jihad me at hello?
你们猜他跟女性打招呼时 第一句话是不是 为了圣战 你好
Thank you. One of my own. Actually one of my own.
谢谢 这是我自己想的
I just hope this former Al Qaeda member knows how to stay safe online.
我希望这位前基地组织成员知道怎样在网上保护自己
After last year's Ashley Madison hack, dating online couldn't be more complicated.
自从去年阿什利·麦迪逊网站受到黑客攻击后 网上约会就变得更加复杂起来
But it turns out there may be a solution.
但事实证明 也许还是有解决办法的
Ashley Madison has revealed a brand new fix to counter the breach in security they faced in 2015.
阿什利·麦迪逊透露了他们最新的应对2015年那种网络攻击的办法
To allow people to cheat on their spouses in anonymity,
为了允许人们你明欺骗自己的配偶
the profile pictures will now feature... Wait for it... Masks.
个人信息中的照片将会……等会儿……戴上面具
This is what the new security feature that hides your identity on Ashley Madison looks like.
这个就是采用了最新安全技术之后的照片
We are not making this up.
这条不是编的
I mean who is this for?
但这是为了服务谁呢
Is someone thinking, I need to cheat on my wife, but discreetly.
上网的人是不是在想 我要骗我的老婆 但得偷偷地骗
What would the Hamburglar do?
那麦当劳怎么想
We here at the late late show, we have been wondering if this will work.
我们深夜秀提出了这个问题
Let's take a look and see some of the new Ashley Madison users
我们来看看一些用户的照片
to see if you can get an idea of who they are.
看看能不能猜出他们是谁
So here is the first one. Wow.
第一个 哇
Oh. Okay.
好吧
See. Complete anonymity.
完全匿名
You've done it again, Ashley Madison. Well done.
你们又一次做到了 阿什利·麦迪逊 干得不错