Well, you're in a good mood. You're happy people.

你们心情很好啊 都很开心

It makes me happy to see that and hear that, because I just want you to sit down.

看到这些 听到这些 我很开心 因为我想让你们坐下

I want you to get comfortable. I want you to settle in.

让你们感觉舒服 定下心来

I want you to mellow out.

想让你们完全放松

I want the studio to be a place of joy and happiness, a place you can just unwind,

我想让演播室成为一个充满欢乐和幸福的地方 让你们可以卸下防备

and relax, and calm down, and Netflix and chill, and-- well, just the Netflix part.

舒缓 冷静下来 玩Netflix 冻着 嗯 只有Netflix这一部分

Not the chill. The chill's the-- is that the sex part? Don't do that.

不要冻着 那是XO这部分吗 不要做这个

There's a child in here. I want you to have fun, because there's too much stress in the world right now.

这儿还有儿童呢 我想让你们玩的开心 现在世界上压力太多了

Don't you agree? Yes. All right.

你们觉得呢 嗯 好

I read a study that said young adults spend more than six hours a day feeling stressed out.

我看过一篇研究 说年轻人每天有六个多小时都感觉压力很大

It's there as proof. I don't want you to think I'm making it up.

这是证据 免得你们觉得是我在瞎掰

It says it right there. And do we have any young adults here in the audience?

就是这么说的 观众里有年轻成年人吗

All right. Some of you are pushing it. You're regular adults. But OK.

好 有些人有点勉强啊 你们是老成年人 不过没关系

And how many of you feel stressed that often, six hours a day?

有多少人觉得压力那么大 一天六小时

Really? Wow. That's horrible. That's sad. That's a really sad thing.

真的吗 哇 太可怕了 很悲哀 真的很悲哀

I mean, I feel like the-- they surveyed several thousand people between the ages of 18 and 25,

我感觉 他们调查了一千名18到25岁之间的年轻人

and they found what stressed them out most is money, their career, and the fear of the future,

发现最让他们有压力的东西是金钱 事业 对未来的恐惧

followed by whether they caught enough Pokemon, or if the fidget spinner was going fast enough.

然后就是神奇宝贝玩的好不好 或者自己的指尖陀螺转的快不快

But to the young adults out there, I want to assure you that things that you stress about,

不过我想对所有年轻的成年人说 你们感到有压力的那些东西

you don't need to be stressed about, because all of that stuff is like-- it gets better.

你们不必觉得压力大 因为这一切 都会越来越好的

Like, you know, you think about money.

比如 你想钱

Like, your generation, you don't have to worry about money,

比如 你们这一代 不用担心钱的事

because your money is bitcoin, which is-- it's imaginary money.

因为你们的钱是比特币 是想象中的钱

Is it real? Is it not real? Is it worth a billion dollars or nothing?

是真的吗 是假的吗 究竟价值十亿美元还是一文不值

Nobody knows. So don't worry about it.

没人知道 所以别担心

You don't know if you have any money or not.

你都不知道自己到底有没有钱

And you don't have to stress about your career either.

你也不用担心你的事业

I didn't go to college. Instead, I spent my youth telling bars and-- telling jokes in bars.

我没上大学 相反 我的青春期是在酒吧里 在酒吧里讲笑话

And I wound up with a great career.

结果我事业很成功

So the lesson is drop out of college, and go to a bar.

所以这里的教训就是 辍学 去酒吧吧

Tell them Ellen sent you. Actually don't.

告诉他们艾伦让你去的 其实不能这样啦

No, don't do that. No! Don't! I just remembered.

不 不能这么做 不 不能 我刚想起来

I just remembered I have outstanding bar tabs everywhere.

我刚想起来 我在各处的酒吧里欠了一屁股债

So you'll have to pay them.

所以你们还得帮我买单

And finally, don't worry about the future, because when I was younger, I worried about the future all the time.

最后 不要担心未来 我年轻的时候 也一直担心未来

And no matter how bad things seemed to me at the time, everything turned out.

不管那时候看起来多么糟糕的事情 现在都过去了

Like, for instance, right now the fate of the world depends on the former host of The Apprentice getting North Korea to give up their nuclear weapons.

比如 现在这个世界的命运掌握在飞黄腾达（美电视节目）前主持人的手中 去朝鲜让他们放弃核武器

You should worry. Actually, you should-- I just realized, maybe you should worry.

这你应该担心 其实 我突然意识到 或许你应该担心

But not for six hours. Just spend an hour or so worrying.

但不要担心六小时 花一小时左右用来担心就够了

And then the rest of your life, try to enjoy it. Live in the moment, and be happy.

然后剩下的生命 尽情去享受 活在当下 要开心幸福