Ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
it's been nearly two weeks since members of an anti-government militia took over a federal bird sanctuary in Oregon
有一支反政府自卫队已经占领了俄勒冈州的一块鸟类保护区近两周之久
in order to protest the government's control of federal lands.
这是为了抗议政府对土地的管控
The members of the militia are heavily armed with ar-15's, ak-47's,
这支自卫队的成员都装备着AR15，AK47这样的武器
and other lethal weaponry one would expect to find on a bunch of dudes guarding some cockatoos.
还有其他一些能在保护凤头鹦鹉的管理员身上找到的致命武器
This is such a controversial story.
这是个很有争议性的事件
Even the birds are split on this.
甚至连鸟都分成了两派
Some are right winged, some are left winged.
有些属于右翼 有些属于左翼
Ammon Bundy, the leader of the militia, has compared his occupation of the wildlife refuge to that of Rosa Parks.
这支自卫队的首脑阿蒙·邦迪把自己占据野生动物保护区的行为 比作是罗莎·帕克斯在公交车上拒绝给白人让座的行为
And I think we all remember when Rosa Parks got on a public bus.
我想大家应该都记得罗莎·帕克斯 在公交车上是什么样子
Sat down, then whipped out an ak-47 and threatened to kill anyone who made her change seats.
她坐下 掏出一杆AK47威胁着说 谁敢让她让座 她就杀了谁

It's very similar. It really is.
两件事的确挺相似的 真的
But the thing is the militia are short on supplies,
但这支自卫队缺乏补给
and they have released a wish list of items they hope people will donate to their cause.
于是他们列出了一张愿望清单 上面写着他们希望人们向他们捐赠的东西
And you have to see this list.
你们一定要看一下这张清单
These guys did not plan ahead. OK?
他们这么做之前一定没有事先计划好
This is the list and on this list they're asking for four aprons, ice scrapers, candles, throw rugs.
就是这个清单 上面写着 他们需要4条围裙 刮雪器 蜡烛 还有小张的地毯
It's like a wedding registry for the most boring couple you know.
简直像是某对很令人讨厌的夫妻的婚礼礼物清单
One of the items on their list is French vanilla creamer. Right?
他们这个清单上还有法国香草奶油
Which means they originally made a demand for creamer,
也就是说他们一开始只想要奶油
and then a guy with an ak-47 strapped to his chest stood up and went, hey, can you make sure it's French vanilla?
然后有个胸前背着AK47的人走过来 说 你确定是法国香草味的吗
You know, for me...They also, they also...Thank you.
你知道的 我……他们还……谢谢
They also asked for a digital camera and you'll notice it says with charger.
他们还要数码相机 你可能会留意到他们还写上了要带充电器的数码相机
Which definitely means they've been burned before. Do you know what I mean?
我猜肯定是之前的一个烧坏了 你们明白我意思吗
They asked for miracle whip and mayonnaise, just in case you weren't sure if they were white.
他们还要卡夫奇妙酱和蛋黄酱 只是为了提醒你酱是白色的
You know. Another clue they're white?
还有别的可能吗
The government still hasn't stopped them.
政府还是没能阻止他们
But out of everything on this list, there is only one thing they say they needed badly, right? Eggs.
但是在这张清单上的所有物品中 只有一样东西是他们急需的 那就是蛋
They need eggs badly, at a bird sanctuary. You know?
他们在一个鸟类保护区里 却非常缺蛋类
This story has gotten so big and so crazy,
这件事影响越来越大
people online have actually started writing erotic fan fiction about it. Right?
以至于还有网民开始写以此为主题的色情小说
In fact, and this is completely true, one author actually published an e-book titled Oregon patriots occupied my butt.
实际上 这是真的 还有一个作者出版了一部电子书 叫俄勒冈州的爱国者占据了我的臀部
Which you think is funny, but it's completely ruined what I was going to call my memoir.
你可能觉得很有趣 但这件事彻底毁掉了我的自传
It wasn't a joke! It wasn't a joke!
这又不是笑话 你敲那玩意干什么
I thought it was a joke.
我以为是个笑话
Well, it's true.
这是真事儿