(单词翻译:单击)
When you come to my show, not only do you get entertained, but you also learn valuable life lessons.
你们来参加我的节目不光能娱乐身心，还能学到一些有价值的人生教训
Like right now, I'm gonna show you why it is great that you have kids, but why it's great I don't have them.
比如现在，我要给你们看一些东西，让你们很庆幸自己有孩子，也让我庆幸自己没有
In a segment called Why I Don't Have Kids. Ashley Johnston from Paradise, Texas.
接下来是“我为什么不要孩子”环节，德克萨斯天堂的艾希莉·约翰斯顿
My son took a bath with some Johnson's baby wash and turned on the air jets.
我儿子用约翰逊的婴儿沐浴露洗澡，还打开了空气喷射机
Man, he's got a foam party for one. Sonja Espinoza in Auburn, Washington.
天啊，他是自己在开泡沫派对呢。华盛顿奥本的索尼娅·埃斯皮诺亚
Our grandson John was at his aunt's house and she left him alone in the kitchen. No.
我们的孙子约翰在他姑妈家，她把他一个人留在厨房里了。别啊
Ember Traeger in Oklahoma City. This is my niece in some food coloring.
俄克拉荷马市的恩贝尔·特雷格。这是我外甥女泡在食物色素里
But it's edible, so that's okay. Vanessa Franz from Westminster, Massachusetts.
不过那是可食用的，所以还好。马萨诸塞州威斯敏斯特的瓦内萨·弗朗茨
There was a suspicious silence in the living room. Turns out my son found a box of Tampax.
客厅里安静的可疑，原来是我儿子找到了一盒丹碧丝卫生棉条
Mom, these crayons don't work.
妈咪，这些蜡笔不管用
Annie Dowse from Grand Rapids, Michigan. My son Bennett knows we keep chocolate chips on the top shelf.
密歇根大急流城的安妮·道斯，我儿子班尼特知道我们会把巧克力豆放在最顶层
I heard a noise in the pantry, opened the door and saw this.
我听到食品柜那儿有声音，打开门后看到了这一幕
Yeah, so the second shelf is where they keep the buns, apparently.
嗯，很明显，第二层是他们存储屁屁的地方
If you have a picture of your kids showing me why I don't have kids, send it to me.
如果你也有能提醒我为啥不要孩子的照片，给我发来哦
