OK. Now the first thing that we're going to kick out is something which is special to me
好的 第一件要淘汰的东西 对我来说很特别
and it's something that just annoys me. OK?
又总是能惹毛我
So the thing that we are going to kick out today is the specials at restaurants.
我们今天要淘汰掉饭店里的特色菜
All right? You know what it's like.
你们都深有体会的吧
You've looked at the menu for a few minutes and you are ready to order.
你们看了一会儿菜单 本来准备点菜的
But then, your waiter comes up and asks if you want to hear the specials.
这时候来了一个服务员 问你想不想知道今天有什么特色菜
But you don't. You've already made your choice.
但你根本不想知道 你己经做好选择了
But unfortunately, you can't say no because he's already started naming the specials,
但不幸的是 你根本无法拒绝 因为服务员已经开始报菜名了
and then you aren't really listening to them
你根本没听他在说什么
because you're too busy just making a face that makes him think you're listening to him. Right?
因为你忙着做出一副表情表示你正在听

The whole time he's rattling off about braised pork loins or celery soup you're sitting there
他念着炖猪腰子和芹菜汤的时候 你坐在那
trying to figure out if arugula is some kind of fish or a kind of cheese, and it's neither!
在试着搞清楚芝麻菜是一种鱼还是一种奶酪 但实际上都不是
It's lettuce! It's weird, peppery lettuce, but you don't know that!
它是一种菜 是一种奇怪的 辣味的菜 但你根本不知道啊
You just know that after he finishes saying all the specials, you have to go, hmm, that does sounds good.
你只知道 等他念完 你还要说 嗯 听起来是不错
And then you just order something off the menu because you've had the menu all along.
然后你就点了那些菜 你手上拿着菜单所以你知道那些根本就不在菜单上
And if they were really that special you'd put them on the menu!
而且如果那些菜真的那么“特色”的话 饭店就会在菜单上写上去
I don't want to taste the chefs experiments!
我一点儿都不想做主厨的小白鼠
That's why specials, you're kicked out! Kicked out!
这就是特色菜要被淘汰的原因 淘汰
If it's that good put it on the menu. If it's that good put it on the menu.
如果真的那么好 就把它写在菜单上 好就写在菜单上
We're going to kick it out. We're going to kick it out.
把它淘汰掉 把它淘汰掉
OK, and the thing that we are bringing back...we are bringing this back and I am so passionate about,
然后我们就可以在菜单上加上这个 我渴望已久的
We are bringing back taking a bowl of ice cream and some chocolate syrup and making your own milkshake. All right?
用一碗冰淇淋和巧克力浆做一碗自制奶昔
Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. This one brings all the boys to the yard. You know what I'm talking about.
谢谢 谢谢 光是这就足以吸引许多人 你们懂的吧
The restaurant doesn't have a milkshake on the menu, but that doesn't stop you. All right?
饭店的菜单上没写奶昔 但这难不住你
Just bring me some ice cream and bring me some chocolate syrup
只要给我冰淇淋和巧克力浆
and I will turn myself into a Michelin star chef, baby. All right?
我就成了米其林星级主厨
And you would swirl the two around creating a bowl of milkshake
只需要把两样东西混在碗里 搅拌成奶昔
that you can just drink from the bowl like it's nectar from the gods.
你就可以像品尝上帝赐予的琼浆玉液一样把它喝掉
Now, I know if you have children, this hasn't gone away. Right?
现在 如果你有孩子的话 这么做可以
But if you are an adult and you've tried this in public, it's definitely frowned upon.
但如果你是个成年人而且在公共场合这么做 肯定会有人不满
Trust me, I learned that the hard way. All right?
相信我 亲测很难
But I will not live in shame anymore. OK?
但我以后不会再忍受这样的屈辱
That's why taking a bowl of ice cream and some chocolate syrup and making your own milkshake, we're bringing you back! Bringing you back!
这就是要把用碗装冰淇淋和巧克力浆自制奶昔 写上菜单的原因
Slap me down. Slap me down.
打我啊 打我
Until I have an ice cream handlebar mustache. Until I have an ice cream handlebar mustache.
让冰淇淋在我嘴上留下一圈八字胡吧 让冰淇淋在我嘴上留下一圈八字胡吧
You're welcome. You're welcome. OK.
不用谢 不用谢 好
The next thing we're kicking out, we are kicking out huge head phones, all right?
下一个要淘汰的是 大号头戴耳机
Because everything's getting smaller. Computers are getting smaller, phones are getting smaller.
现如今所有的东西都变得越来越小，电脑啊 电话啊
But head phones for some reason just keep getting bigger and bigger and it's ridiculous.
不知道为什么 头戴耳机变得越来越大了 简直想不通
Why do you need headphones that big? Are you bringing a jet plane into the gate?
一个耳机做那么大有什么用 你要把飞机带进门吗
They don't even look like headphones anymore. They look like earmuffs.
耳机现在都不像耳机了 像耳罩
I can't tell if you're listening to drake or you're about to start a snowball fight with the other kids in the neighborhood. Right?
我都不知道你是在听德雷克的歌还是要跟隔壁的孩子去打雪仗了
And you want to know the worst thing?
你想知道最可怕的是什么吗
If we don't stop this trend in its tracks, they're just going to keep getting bigger and bigger.
就是如果我们不阻止这股潮流的话 耳机只会越变越大
Eventually you're just going to have to put your head inside a gigantic speaker with eye holes,
最后你就要把你的头放进一个巨大的扬声器里 只给眼睛留下两个洞
telling people that the Bass makes a real difference and it will cost you $6000.
告诉别人贝斯公司的新款是多么与众不同 它花了你6000刀
That's why huge headphones, you're kicked out! Kicked out!
这就是大号耳机要被淘汰的原因 淘汰
Just give me like the little ones that go in the ear. Just give me like the little ones that go in the ear.
我只想要能塞进耳朵里的那种小的就行 能塞进耳朵里的那种小的
They also bleed sound and it's annoying. They also bleed sound and it's annoying.
它们也能听歌又不招人厌 能听歌又不招人厌
And with huge head phones gone, that makes room to bring back one of this.
大号耳机一淘汰 就有这个东西的市场了
Huge boom boxes. I miss this guy, all right?
大音响 我想死它了
You remember the coolest guy you could ever imagine wearing the coolest shoes
想像一下 一个你能想到的最帅的人穿着你能想象到的最帅的鞋
you can imagine walking down the street with a boom box blasting the coolest song you ever heard.
走在街上 扛着一个大号音响 放着你未曾听过的最狂野的歌
You know what headphones are? They're selfish. OK?
你知道耳机怎么了吗 它们很自私
Don't you want to walk around the city with your giant boom box on your shoulder letting the world know that you love run D.M.C. OK?
难道你不想这样走在街上 肩上扛着巨大的音响放着歌 让整个世界都知道你喜欢run D.M.C.
You looked as cool as the music sounded, plus, you got the workout of carrying a gigantic boom box on your shoulder.
你看起来就像那首歌一样炫酷 而且 肩上扛着一个巨大的音响还帮你得到了锻炼
Not to mention, the very best part, when you go to a park with your gigantic boom box,
更不用说 最棒的是 当你带着音响去公园 每个人都知道
you're letting everyone there know that they're all about to witness some kick-ass break dancing. All right?
他们将会看到酷毙了的霹雳舞
You put it on the ground. Hit the play button and then you do this dance move.
把音响放在地上 按下播放键 假装要开始跳舞
But you never actually do a break dance move but if you look like this,
虽然你并不会真的跳 但只要你这么做
it looks like you're about to do something crazy and I am about to do something crazy,
别人就会觉得你会做出点儿疯狂的事出来 我也要做点儿疯狂的事
I swear but you're not going to see it.
但我发誓你们看不到
We're going to commercial. We'll be right back with Jessica Alba and Ben Schwartz!
因为我们要放广告了 广告之后 让我们欢迎杰西卡·奥尔芭和本·施瓦兹