Now, guys, the republican presidential candidates have been simply dominating the news lately.
最近 共和党的总统候选人占据了新闻头版
I don't know if you saw this, but today it was just revealed that New Jersey governor Chris Christie
不知道你们看到这个没 据今天刚透露的消息克里斯·克里斯蒂
told the head of his states national guard, general Michael Cuniff,
跟国民警卫队的队长迈克尔·卡尼夫将军说
that he was too overweight to do his job and had 90 days to slim down.
将军太胖了 甚至影响到了工作 要他90天之内瘦下来
Now, if you're not familiar with Chris Christie, he looks like this.
如果你们不太了解克里斯·克里斯蒂的话 他长这样
This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle fat.
这就是典型的五十步笑百步

Now, you know, maybe it's fair for Chris Christie to ask this guy to lose weight.
也许克里斯·克里斯蒂叫他的下属减肥是正常的
After all, Chris Christie is losing an entire election.
毕竟 克里斯·克里斯蒂要“减”掉整个大选了
But—are you saying he isn't? 3%, something like that.
但是——你们是说他不会输 然而他的支持率貌似只有3%了
But I think Chris Christie is being a little hypocritical here. Do you know what I mean?
但我觉得克里斯·克里斯蒂还是有点儿太挑剔了 你们懂我意思吗
This would be like if Donald trump told someone they needed a new hairstyle.
他这么干感觉就好像特朗普要求别人去换个发型一样
You know, here is a picture of the governor and the general together.
这是克里斯·克里斯蒂和将军站在一起的照片
And I genuinely don't know which one is Chris Christie.
我真的分不出来哪个是他
But General Cuniff, he doesn't even look overweight.
卡尼夫将军看起来一点儿也不胖啊
He might be considered overweight in Los Angeles.
他在洛杉矶的话人们只会说他“超重”
But I've been to New Jersey. In New Jersey, I look like a personal trainer.
但是我去过新泽西州 在新泽西州 我这种身材完全可以去当私人健身教练
Now this is your country's big political story today. And this is shameful. OK?
这就是你们美国人的轰动性的政治新闻 简直可耻
Because you should have classy political new stories like my home country
你们的轰动性的政治新闻实在可以更高级一点 就像我的祖国英国一样
where our prime minister David Cameron has been—wait.
我们的首相大卫·卡梅伦他——等等
Has been accused of sticking his penis in a dead pig's mouth.
他被人起诉曾把他的性器官塞到猪嘴里
Honestly, this has been on the cover of every newspaper. Right? You see, classy.
讲真 这条新闻还上了各大报纸封面的 看到了吗 这就叫高级
Were not even in an election right now! This guy won five months ago.
我们的大选甚至都还没开始 这个人五个月前就赢了
This is his honeymoon period. Do you know what I mean?
现在是他的蜜月期 你们懂我意思吗
Now, look. we don't know if this story's true, but if it is true, in David Cameron's defense—
听我说 我也不知道这条消息的真假 但如果是真的话 卡梅伦会——
I really need to think before I start sentences, I really I really do.
我说之前要先组织下语言 真的
But apparently, the accusations allege that he did this in college.
但是控告中称 这事儿是他大学时候干的
You remember how wild we all were in college, right, you know?
你还记得我们大学时有多浪吗
We were all getting high, doing keg stands, having sex with dead pigs. Right, guys?
我们玩儿的很嗨 玩儿了桶倒立 还跟死猪做过爱 记得吗
Right, guys? Did we? Did you? Come on. We're joking.
记得吗 我们这么干过吗 你这么干过吗 别紧张 开个玩笑
But this is pretty serious because some critics of the prime minister are calling him to step down
但这是个很严肃的问题 有些人因此要求首相下台
and Miss Piggy is calling him for a date.
猪小姐要求首相去约会
Thank you, thank you Guillermo.
谢谢 吉列尔莫