I am very excited because Kate McKinnon is on the show today.
我好激动 因为凯特 麦金农会来参加今天的节目
I love her so much, she impersonates me on Saturday Night Live.
我非常爱她 她在周六夜现场模仿了我
She's beautiful, she's charming, she's smart, she's hilarious,
她很漂亮 她很迷人 也很聪明还很幽默
she's me is what she is. She really is hilarious.
她就是我 就是这样 她真的非常搞笑
But it's weird to have somebody do impressions of you because when you hear
但是看到别人模仿你时 感觉很奇怪 因为当你
it you're like well, that's such an exaggeration.
听到那些 你就觉得那太浮夸了
It's funny, but it doesn't sound like me at all.
是很好玩 但是听起来一点也不像我
And then, the next day your friends call you up and they're like did you see Kate
而且 第二天你的朋友们都会打电话给你 他们都这样说道 你看了周六今夜秀上
on SNL, she sounded exactly like you
的凯特了吗 她听上去跟你一毛一样
But she does exaggerate, she always says I'm Ellen, I'm Ellen.
但是 她确实是夸张了 她总是说 我是艾伦 我是艾伦
I don't know what that is, I'm Ellen like cuz I don't even say I'm Ellen.
我不知道为什么要这样说 我是艾伦 因为我都不会这样说 我是艾伦
That feels nice, I'm Ellen. So that's how you say it, I'm Ellen.
感觉挺不错的 我是艾伦 你就是这样说的啊 我是艾伦
I'm Ellen. I'm Ellen. No, I'm Ellen and I got this blondie, step aside.
我是艾伦 我是艾伦 不 我是艾伦 而且我有金发 你靠边去

You're gonna do the monologue? What, that's right, cuz I'm Ellen, so scoot.
你要说独白了吗 什么 没有错 因为我是艾伦 那么 走着
Hi, everyone. Happy Wednesday.
大家好 周三快乐
I got to tell you about something that happened last night up at the house.
我要把昨晚家里发生的事告诉你们
Portia and I got a puppy and- We named it Kid
波西亚和我养了只小狗 我们给他取名叫基德
to make it sound like we have a kid.
这样听起来就像我们有了孩子
Funny enough, Kid is also a baby goat and I love baby goats, I love them.
更好玩的是 基德也是一只小羊的名字 我爱小羊 我爱他们
I love baby goats. True story, I once went on a ski vacation with a baby goat.
我爱小羊仔 真实经历 我有次度假跟一只小羊去滑雪了
Okay. Well, that's- That's not a true story. Okay.
好了 恩 那个 那个才不是真的 好不啦
So anyway, I'm up at the house and all of a sudden one of the kitty, kitty,
不管怎样 我在家起床的时候 突然一只小喵 小喵
kitty cats. Why do you say kitty, kitty, kitty? I don't say kitty, kitty cats.
小喵喵 为什么你要说小喵 小喵 小喵喵 我不会说小喵 小喵喵的
Yes you do you little kitty cat.
会的 你肯定会说 你这个小喵喵
I put together a reel of a few of the times you said it. Do we have that clip?
我把你说过的那几次都 记录下来了 我们有剪辑版吗
Now let me tell y'all about my kitty, kitty, kitty cats.
现在让我来告诉你们 我家小喵 小喵 小喵喵的事情
After having spent the weekend with my kitty, kitty, kitty cats.
周末是跟我的小喵 小喵 小喵喵一起度过的
Well enough about my kitty, kitty, kitty cats.
恩 说完了我家的小喵 小喵 小喵喵
Kitty, kitty, kitty cats. See? That was you. No you did it.
小喵 小喵 小喵喵 看见了吧 那是你说的 不 是你说的
All right. Yep. Okay. You're catching on quick. It doesn't count.
好了 好的吧 好吧 你领悟得很快啊 那个不算啊
Anyway, one of the kitty, kitty, kitty cats jumps on the bed, right on the head.
不管怎么样 我家的一只小喵 小喵 小喵喵跳到了床上 就在我的头上
And then Kid, that's the puppy, not the goat, though I do love baby goats.
然后那只小狗基德 不是小羊啊 但是我是真的很爱小羊仔的
Jumps right on the bed, right on Portia's head and suddenly the rest of the cats
也跳到了床上 就在波西亚的头上 然后 突然所有的猫
jump up on the bed and the rest of the dogs, and one of Portia's horses.
都跳到了床上 还有其他的狗狗 和波西亚的一匹马
And there's animals everywhere and I can't find the remote.
到处都是动物 我也找不到地方躲
And I'm laying there thinking I'm Ellen. All right.
然后我就躺下想着 我是艾伦啊 好吧
I'm Ellen. It did not happen. None of that happened. Well it did, I'm Ellen.
我是艾伦 那根本是没有的事 那些全都没发生 恩 就是发生了 因为我是艾伦
Okay, if you're Ellen, do you know what happens next?
好 你要是艾伦 你知道接下来要干嘛吗
Yeah, course I do. I'm Ellen, and we dance. All right.
我当然知道啦 我是艾伦 我们跳舞吧 好的吧