How many of y'all are on facebook here? People--all right.
现场有多少人玩脸书的？ 好的
Well, a lot of times people post things that are really, really funny,
嗯 很多时候人们发布的东西 真的很好玩
And--whether they mean to be or not-- so I thought I'd show you some.
并且 不管他们是不是特意这样的 所以我想给你们展示一些
It's a segment we call in your facebook. One, two, three
这段节目被称为 在脸书上 一 二 三
All right, so these are real facebook status updates and comments--
好了 这些呢确实是脸书上更新的状态和评论
Real-we're not making them up. Sarah says, "I think about him 31-7
这是真的——并不是我们编造出来的 萨拉说 我每时每刻都在想他
Because he's on my mind even when i'm sleeping." And...
因为即使我在睡觉的时候 他也在我脑海当中 然后
Kevin says, "There's still 24 hours in a day When you're sleeping."
凯文说 一天还是有24个小时 即便你在睡觉
Sarah says, "Wait. What?" Mark says, "What does brb mean?"
萨拉说 等等 你说啥 马克说 brb是什么意思呀
And abby says, "Be right back."
艾比回复说 赶紧回来
Mark says, "Okay, will you let me know when you come back?"
马克说 啊 好的 你能告诉我你什么时候回来吗
Sky says, "What's obama's last name?" Devin says, "Obama."
斯凯说 奥巴马姓什么啊 戴文回复说 奥巴马

Sky says, "Yeah, what's his last name?" Wow.
斯凯说 是啊 他姓啥 哇哦
Corre says, "Stupid traffic, go home."
科尔说 糟糕的交通 滚回家吧
And hunter says, "I think that's what they're trying to do."
然后汉特回复说 我想这也是他们想要做的（让你回家）
Liz d'onofrio says, "I just answered an unknown number
Liz d'onofrio 说 我刚刚接了一个未知电话
"Because I actually thought it might be ellen degeneres.
因为我实际上以为可能是 艾伦·狄珍妮
I never, ever want to miss that call." I want to see if she really means it.
我是绝对不想错过那个电话的 我想看看她是不是真这么想的
I never want to lose this phone, no matter how old it gets.
我从没想过放弃这个电话 不管它看上去多老
Hello. Liz? Uh-huh. Hey, liz, do you know who this is?
你好 利兹 嗯哼 嘿 利兹 你知道我是谁吗
Uh, no, I don't. I'll give you a hint. It's ellen degeneres. Oh, my god.
额 我不知道 我给你个提示 我是艾伦·狄珍妮 噢 天呐
Hi. Wait. Wait. Is this-- Is this really-is this really ellen? Huh?
嗨 等会儿 等会儿 你真的 真的是艾伦 嗯呢
You--you're really calling me right now? I really am.
你 你现在在给我打电话吗 嗯 如假包换
Weren't you expecting me to call? Oh, my god!
你不是想让我给你打电话吗 噢 天呐
The reason-- This is so cool. Isn't this great?
我给你打电话的原因 太酷了 棒不棒
Yeah, I just saw that you said that on facebook,
嗯 我就是看到你在脸书上说
You answered an unknown call because you thought it might be me,
你接了一个未知电话 因为你想着可能是我
So I wanted to see if you really meant it and you would answer an unknown call.
所以我想看看你是不是真的这么想的 你说会接未知来电的
I completely meant it. Yeah. All right. What are you doing right now?
我绝对真心实意的 嗯 好勒 你现在在干嘛呢
Um, I'm at work right now. Oh. Where do you work? What do you do?
我在上班呢 你在哪儿上班呢 你的工作是什么
I work at the children's room in arlington, massachusetts.
我在马萨诸塞州 阿灵顿市的儿童室工作
We offer support groups for grieving children and their families.
我们给儿童还有他们的家庭 提供支持
Oh, well, that's a wonderful thing, Liz. Good for you. Well, well, thank you.
哦 利兹 这很棒啊 真不错 啊 谢谢谢谢
Yeah, I mean, I just started here doing social work.
恩 我是说 我在这儿是刚刚开始做社会工作
So we have support groups that we run at night.
我们有夜间运行的援助组织
Ah, I love you more than-- I'm so glad I called you. Well, one thing-- thank you.
我对你的爱超过了 我很开心 我给你打了电话 有件事 谢谢
I want to bring you out here. I want you to come to the show, and I want to meet you.
我想把你带到现场来 我想你来节目现场 我想见你 还有
And... Oh, my god. So do that. Wait. Wait. Really? Yeah, of course. Of course.
噢 我的天哪 嗯 来吧 等等 等等 真的吗 耶 当然 当然啦
I was actually calling you for something else,
我打电话给你其实为了别的事情
But now that I talked to you, I want you to come to the show.
但是我现在跟你说 我想你来这个节目现场
I was calling to see if you bought my new cd yet.
我打电话给你想知道你买了我的新专辑没
Ellen's "I'm gonna make you dance jams,"
艾伦的《I'm gonna make you dance jams》
Have you bought that yet? I did. I did buy it.
你买了没 买了 我买了
I bought it a couple days ago. Oh, I'm so glad.
我几天前买的 我好开心
I was gonna send you a copy, but I'll send you-- So you'll have two.
我准备送你一张的 但是我还是会送你 所以你就有两张了
You'll have one for your car and one for, uh, your house. And... That is perfect.
你可以把一张放在车里 一张放在 额 你家里 完美
That's what I was actually calling for, but now I'm gonna meet you.
这是我给你打电话的初衷 不过现在呢 我将要见到你了
You'll come to the show whenever--
不管何时 你要来节目现场了
When i hang up, a producer will call you back,
电话挂掉之后 制片人会给你打过去
And we'll arrange it, okay? I mean, you-- Oh, my god, this is so amazing!
我们来安排一下 好吗 噢 天呐 太惊喜了
You have to get yourself out here. I'm not flying you out, but--
你得自己过来这里 我也不给你安排航班
I can't believe this is really happening.
我没法相信这事正在发生
This is like the craziest day of my life. No, I'm kidding.
这就像我生命中最疯狂的一天 不 我跟你开玩笑呢
We're gonna fly you out and put you up and...
我们会给你安排航班 安排你的住宿
So, all right, so, liz, I'll meet you soon, okay?
嗯 那么 利兹 不久后 我就见到你了 好吗
Okay, great. Thank you. All right, thanks for answering the phone.
好 太棒了 谢谢你 好的 谢谢你接了这通电话
Okay. Anytime. All right, bye. Okay. All right. That's great.
随时欢迎 好的 拜拜 好的 好的 真不错
I was calling to tell her about my new cd.
我打电话就是为了告诉她我的新专辑的
It's in stores now, and everybody in the audience is going home with a copy as well.
现在已经开售了 并且 现场的每一位 你们回家的时候 都会有一份带走
We'll be back.
我们一会见