TUTOR: Then, you need to identify the bottom line. This is done by breaking their conflict down into specific issues which are emotional and behavioral. People might say they are mad about a specific behavior, but what they are really mad about is how it makes them feel. To look again at the case of Robert and Vicky, the real issue is that Robert feels Vicky does not respect him. At this point, you could make clients begin speaking to each other. They could do a role reversal, and Vicky could talk about how she would feel if she and Robert were supposed to have dinner with friends and he came an hour late. Robert could share reasons why he might be late for something. Hopefully,this will help them be more sympathetic with each other.
STUDENT: That's very interesting. I will do more research on that point.
TUTOR: About solutions. That is the conclusion of your paper. In terms of mediation skills, you, as a mediator encourage your clients to share every possible solution to their problem, no matter how ridiculous or extreme. The clients may not criticize each other during this step. As they are making suggestions, the mediator writes down all their different ideas. When they are done, they should look at the list and try to identify which solution is the best, which one is most reasonable or practical, which ones are unworkable etc. They prioritize the solutions and discuss which ones would work for them, which ones they would be willing to try.
STUDENT: That is the true meaning of mediation. The mediator does not meddle, but coordinate.
TUTOR: Yes. Probably, you have noticed that the language skills speak much of a person's mediation skills. So, If time permits, you could read some books on linguistics...