And now the kung pao chicken. Smooth. And finally, my moo shu pork. Whoo-hoo!
现在是宫保鸡丁， 很顺利啊！ 最后， 我的木须肉， 给力!
Oh, there you have it, gentlemen. Our entire dinner unpacked by robot. And it only took 28 minutes.
菜上齐了，先生们，整整一桌由机器人上的晚餐， 而且只花了28分钟。
Impressive, but we must be cautious. Why? Today, it's a Chinese food retrieval robot.
是很不错，但我们必须要小心。 为什么？今天机器人来上中国菜。
Tomorrow, it travels back in time and tries to kill Sarah Connor.
明天就穿越回过去谋杀莎拉·康纳。
I don't think that's going to happen, Sheldon. No one ever does. That's why it happens.
我可不觉得这会发生。谢尔顿， 确实没发生过， 所以才会发生。
Hey. Is the food here? Ooh. What's that?
嘿，晚餐到了吗？ 这是什么？
That, dear lady, is the Wolowitz Programmable Hand, designed for extravehicular repairs on the International Space Station.
亲爱的女士，这叫沃罗威茨程控手，专为维修国际空间站而设计的延伸臂。
Ah, cool. Ask me to pass the soy sauce.
好酷啊！叫我把酱油递给你。
Oh, does that come up much on the space station? Mostly with Asian and Jewish astronauts.
空间站里有人用机械手打酱油吗？通常会是亚裔或犹太航天员。
All right. Pass the soy sauce. Coming up.
好吧，给我酱油。 就来。
So how's work? Oh, it's not bad.
工作如何？还不赖吧。
Kind of hungry. Yeah, we all are. Just wait.
有点饿了。我们都饿。等等就好。

You realize, Penny, that the technology that went into this arm will one day make unskilled food servers such as yourself obsolete.
佩妮，你有想过这机械臂所蕴含的科技会在某天让你这种没有能力的服务员下岗么？
Really? They're going to make a robot that spits on your hamburger?
真的吗？他们会造往你汉堡上吐口水的机器人吗?
I thought you broke up with her. Why is she here?
我以为你跟她分手了，她为什么在这儿？
Okay, here we go. Passing the soy sauce. Put out your hand. That's amazing. I wouldn't say amazing.
好了，搞定。传递酱油，手抬起来。真不可思议！我可不会说不可思议。
At best, it's a modest leap forward from the basic technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.
最多不过是比《乡村熊狂欢节》（迪士尼乐园一个用机械动物表演的秀）里的使用的最基本的科技前进了一小步而已
Hey, Sheldon? Yes? Peace? No, not peace. Hang on.
嘿，谢尔顿。怎么了？和平吗？不，才不是。 等着。
Does NASA know you're using that thing as a napkin holder?
美国航天局知道你用这个作餐巾纸架吗？
You kidding? They still think it's in a secure locker at JPL.
开玩笑，他们以为这个还在JPL的保险柜里呢 JPL: 喷气推进实验室，美国顶尖机器人实验室。
You stole it? Borrowed. The trick is to carry it out to your car like you own it.
你偷的？借的。关键在表现得像把自己的东西带到车上
Excuse me. Amy's at the dry cleaners, and she's made a very amusing pun.
不好意思，艾米正在干洗店，然后想到一个很有趣的双关语。
"I don't care for perchloroethylene, "and I don't like glycol ether."
我不喜欢全氯乙烯，不喜欢乙二醇醚"。
Get it? She doesn't like glycol ether. Sounds like "either." "L-O-L."
懂了吗？不喜欢乙二醇醚。听起来就像“亦”。“噗-哈-哈”
Who's Amy? His girlfriend.
艾米是谁？ 他女朋友。
Sheldon has a girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend.
谢尔顿有女朋友吗？她不是我女朋友。
How long has this been going on? Four months. She's not my girlfriend.
这事儿多久了？四个月。她不是我女朋友。
Are you telling me, for the past four months I have been asking you, "What's new?" and you never thought to go with, "Sheldon has a girlfriend"?
你是在说，过去的四个月里我一直在问你 “有新鲜事吗”？你居然从来没想过说“谢尔顿有女朋友”吗？
She's not my girlfriend. Ah... d-d-d-d... How did they meet?
她不是我女朋友。 啊，等等等等，他们怎么认识的？
Raj and I entered Sheldon's information on a dating site, and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.
拉杰和我把谢尔顿的信息发到交友网站上，网站速配了艾米·菲拉·福勒。
Oh, my God! Sheldon and Amy. Or, as we call them, "Shamy."
天哪，谢尔顿和艾米，或者像我们所说“谢米”。
Shamy. I am so digging the Shamy.
谢米。我必须好好八一八谢米了。
All right, everyone pay attention. Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler.
好吧，各单位注意。没错，我是有个朋友叫艾米·菲拉·福勒。
Yes, she is female. Yes, we communicate on a daily basis, but no, she is not my girlfriend.
没错，她是女性。没错，我们每天交流，但是，她不是我女朋友。
Okay, well, what do you communicate about?
好吧，那你们交流都说什么
Well, my work in physics, her work in neurobiology, and most recently, the possibility of our having a child together. Thank you.
我的物理工作和她的神经生物学工作，最新话题是论我们生个孩子的可能性。谢谢。
Wait a minute—a child? You never see this girl.
等等，要孩子？你从没见过这女的。
You just e-mail and text and Twitter. Now you're considering having a baby?
只有电邮短信和推特联系，然后现在就考虑要孩子了。
Amy pointed out that between the two of us,
艾米指出通过我俩的结合
our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior, benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow.
我们的基因将会有机会制造出前所未有的，智力超群，仁慈善良的君主，带领人类走向光明未来。
I'm guessing that future historians will condemn us for not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon.
我猜想未来的历史学家将会谴责我们不趁这机会杀了谢尔顿。
Okay, I have a question. Yes, Penny.
好吧，我有个问题。请说，佩妮。
You don't even like people touching you. How are you going to have sex?
你不喜欢别人碰你，你们怎么做爱呢？
Why on earth would we have sex?
我们干嘛要做爱？
Oh, honey, did your mom not have the talk with you? You know, when your private parts started growing?
亲爱的，你的私处开始发育的时候你妈妈没跟你谈过吗？
I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary,
我很清楚人类繁殖的方式既脏乱又不卫生，
And based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
而且跟你做了三年邻居，听了太多不必要又响亮的呼唤神。
Oh, God. Yes, exactly.
天呐！对，就是这句。
Consequently, if Amy and I choose to bring new life into this world, It will be accomplished clinically, with fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes.
因此，如果艾米和我选择让一个新生命降临，我们会让生育专家在实验室用培养皿受精。
Which reminds me—you have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigor. Is your womb available for rental?
这倒提醒我，你不仅屁股大，而且头脑简单，精力充沛。你的子宫可以代孕吗？
Still digging the Shamy?
还想深入八一八谢米恋吗
Look, Sheldon, before you race off to the fertility clinic, you might want to think about—
谢尔顿，先别急着选孕育科。你也可以考虑
uh, gee, I don't know— maybe actually spending some time with her.
老天，怎么说呢？切实地花点时间陪她。
You mean dating? Yeah. I can't date Amy. Why not? She's not my girlfriend.
你是说约会？没错。我不能和艾米约会。为什么？她不是我女朋友。
Okay, look, don't think of it as dating a girlfriend. Think of it as, uh... Getting to know the future mother of your child.
不要把它当成和女朋友约会。把它当成了解你孩子的未来妈妈。
I hadn't considered that. I suppose she will have to have access to our progeny.
我还真没想到，她将来应该会接触我们的后代。
And you don't think I can achieve the required intimacy via text messaging? Probably not.
你觉得通过短信息我无法达到必要的亲密吗？应该不能。
It would appear as if the phone companies have been lying to me.
看来电话公司一直在骗我。
Penny. Penny. Penny.
佩妮，佩妮，佩妮。
You do realize I stand on the other side of the door waiting for you to finish knocking three times.
你应该知道我站在门的另一边等你敲完三次门吧。
I know. I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.
我知道，我能从门缝看到脚的影子
Yeah, my point is it's a waste of time.
重点是敲三次很浪费时间
If you're looking for an example of a waste of time, I would refer you to the conversation we're having right now.
如果你想找个浪费时间的例子，我们现在的话题就很浪费时间。
What do you want? I've decided to take your advice and have arranged to go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler.
你有事吗？我决定了接受你的建议，还安排了跟艾米约会。
Oh, that's great. Have fun. Wait. You have to drive me.
那太好了，玩得开心。等等，你要载我去。
What? You know I don't drive.
什么？你知道我不开车。
Well, go ask Leonard. I did. He said—and I quote—"Ask Penny. It was her cockamamy idea."
去问莱纳德。问了。他说，我复述，问问佩妮，那是她的可笑主意。
Leonard said "cockamamy"? Actually, I'm paraphrasing.
莱纳德说“可笑”?好吧，那是我说的。
Having been raised in a Christian household, I'm uncomfortable with the language he used.
在基督教家庭长大，我实在不习惯他的用语。
And to be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamy."
老实说，其实我也不喜欢“可笑”这个词。
Okay, fine. When's the date? Now. Now? Hurry. We're going to be late.
好吧，什么时候约会？现在。现在？快点，我们要迟到了。
Sheldon, did it ever occur to you that I might have other plans?
谢尔顿，你有没有想过我可能有别的事要忙吗？
I'm sorry. Do you have other plans? Well, no, not per se, but...
对不起，你有别的事忙吗？倒是没有，不过……
So this conversation is as pointless as your door-knocking soliloquy?
这么说这个话题跟你的敲门独白一样没意义咯！
Let me get my... cockamamy keys.
我去拿我的可笑钥匙。
Oh, God, that feels so good. Yeah, that's the spot. Oh, baby.
天呐，太爽了！对，就是那里。宝贝儿！
Howard, dinner's ready! I'll eat later. I'm busy!
霍华德，吃饭啦！我一会再吃，现在很忙。
Oh, yeah. Just like a real hand.
爽啊，就跟人手一样。
Thank you for driving me. You're welcome.
谢谢你载我去。不客气。
I wish you weren't wearing flip-flops. It's dangerous to drive in flip-flops.
但我希望你不穿人字拖，穿人字拖开车很危险。
Sheldon. Sorry. I just don't want to be yet another flip-flop fatality.
谢尔顿。对不起，我只是不想成为另一个人字拖的受害者。
Can I ask you a question?
我能问个问题吗
Given your community college education, I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.
鉴于你的社区大学学历，我鼓励你尽量多问。
Yeah. Well, my question is—and I'm pretty sure I know the answer—Is this your first date?
好，我的问题是——其实我很清楚答案——这是你第一次约会吗
That depends. Does square-dancing with my sister at a Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown count as a date?
那得看情况。跟我妹在国庆日青年敬耶稣方块舞会上跳舞算吗？
No. Then, this is my first date.
不算。那这是我第一次约会。
Okay. Well, then, there's a couple of things you should probably know.
那有几件事你应该要知道。
I have a master's degree and two doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.
我有一个硕士学位和两个博士学位。我应该知道的事，我都知道
My point is, I know more about dating than you, and if you were as smart as you think you are, you would listen to me.
我的意思是，我比你更清楚约会。而且如果你真有你认为的那么聪明，你就会听我的话
If you know so much, how come I have a date tonight and you have nothing better to do than drive me to it? Fair point.
如果你是约会专家，那怎么我今晚有约会而你只能当我的司机呢？说得好。
You know, there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman.
水行侠》的有些问题我想不明白。
Yeah? Where does he poop? What?
什么？他去哪便便？什么？
What would a toilet look like in Atlantis?
亚特兰蒂斯的马桶长什么样
How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?
你怎么冲掉呢？就算你冲掉了，便便又能冲去哪呢？
Hold that thought.
一会儿再讨论。
Hey, Howard. What's going on? What...
喂，霍华德，怎么了？啥？
Hold on. Howard, Howard, slow down. The robot hand is stuck on your what?
等等，霍华德，慢点说，机械手卡在你的什么上了。
You're not going to believe this.
说出来肯定吓你一跳。