Ross: Hey. Check this out. you're not gonna believe this.
快看，你们一定不信。
Chandler: Yes, Ross, we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them.
是的，我们知道那里面有裸女的照片。
Rachel: Oh, don't tell him about the videos!
别告诉他还有出录影带！
Ross: I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
我编了一则笑话寄到花花公子，结果登出来了！
Phoebe: I didn't know Playboy prints jokes.
我不知道花花公子也登笑话。
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, uh, interviews, hardhitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures.
他们有笑话、专访、爆炸性新闻，并非只有图片。
Monica: It didn't work on mom, it's not gonna work on us.
妈妈不吃这一套，我们也一样。
Ross: Oh oh here, check it out. It's it's the first one, too.
你们看，还是第一则。
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
真好笑，我编出来时也很好笑。
Ross: What?
什么？
Chandler: I made that joke up.
这则笑话是我编的。
Ross: Uh, oh oh, no you didn't. I did.
不是你，是我。
Chandler: Uh oh oh, yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard.
是我，我说给丹听，他说这是他听过最好笑的笑话。
Ross: Hey, tell Dan, 'Thanks.' What?
帮我谢谢丹。怎样？
Rachel: I'm sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny.
抱歉，我在看下面那则笑话，那则很好笑。
Chandler: Monica, you you remember me tell you that joke, right?
莫妮卡，你记得我跟你说过那则笑话吧？
Monica: No.
不记得。
Chandler: Seriously?
真的不记得？
Monica: Well, you tell a lot jokes!
你的笑话一大堆！
Ross: Look, Chandler, it's my joke.
钱德，那是我的笑话。
Ross: But uh hey, if it makes you feel any better they don't print the name, so it doesn't really matter who gets credit, right?
不过如果告诉你他们没有印投稿人，也许你会好受些所以是谁的并不重要，对吧？
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
大概吧。
Joey: Hey you guys.
你们好。
Chandler: Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
乔伊，花花公子登了我的笑话。
Ross: What? No no no, it's mine, it's my joke. You can call them, they'll tell you.
不，那是我的笑话。你打电话去问就知道。
Chandler: It's my joke.
那是我的笑话。
Ross: It's my joke.
是我的。
Joey: Whoa whoa whoa.
嘿嘿嘿。
Joey: Jokes? What? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
笑话？什么？你们知道这上面有裸女吧？
Chandler: Dude, due, you've got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
快，赶快转到“音乐内幕”红心合唱团状况百出，可能会解散。
Joey: Let's go watch it at your place.
我们去你家看。
Chandler: No no no, Monica's watching some cooking show. Come on, I don't wanna miss when there were skinny.
不行，莫妮卡在看烹饪节目，快点，我想看她们瘦的时候。
Joey: Hey hey Chandler, Chandler, you know what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
钱德，你知道吗？我们应该去买新墨镜。
Chandler: What? No, I want to watch this. Did your cable go out?
什么？不！我要看电视。你的有线电视坏了？
Joey: No, no, that's VH1. Ok, I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today...It's like a lot of noise to me. I don't know...
不是，那是VH1（专门播放音乐录影带的电视台）。现在的小朋友听的音乐对我来说都只是噪音。
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
乔伊，有线电视为什么没了？
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I haven't really paid the bill.
因为我没交费。
Chandler: If you need money, woluld you pleaseplease just let me loan you some money?
你若缺钱，拜托让我借给你好吗？
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, ok? Look, I know things've been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
不要，你别再说了好吗，我知道吉宁走后，我有点吃紧，天哪，她可真辣。
Chandler: Whoa ho.
哇呜。
Joey: I know! But, looklook, I can handle it. All right? I can uh, listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book.
就是啊！但是我可以应付，好吗？我可以听广播，罗斯也给了我一本很棒的书。
Chandler: Fine, you wanna see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
要不要问那个笑话小偷，我们能不能去他家看电视？
Joey: Sure.
好啊。
Chandler: Paid your phone bill?
电话费有交吗？
Joey: Not so much.
没有。
Phoebe: Hey.
嗨。
Monica: Oh, it's only you.
原来是你。
Phoebe: Wh wh what're you doing?
你们在看什么？
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
我们在看花花公子。
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna look too! . Yikes!
我也想看！好恶！
Monica: So do you think that these pictures Are, are they trying to tell a story?
这些照片是有故事性吗？
Rachel: Oh oh yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so, so she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, 'Where are they, where are they?'
当然有，像这位年轻小姐她的衣服不见了，所以……她光溜溜的骑着马大喊 “我的衣服呢？”
Monica: Well, she's not gonna find them lying in the grass like that.
只是这样躺在草地上是找不到的。
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
记不记得以前去谷仓，掀起衣服翘起屁股的日子？
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
记得。
Rachel: You see, now, see now, I would date this girl. She's cute, she's outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, that's gotta come in handy.
不过我会约这个女生，她很可爱，很阳光。而且她会生火，可以派上用场。
Monica: Ok, I got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
我有一个问题，如果要在我们当中挑女朋友，你们会挑谁？
Rachel: I don't know.
不知道。
Monica: Me neither.
我也不知道。
Phoebe: Rachel.
瑞秋。
Monica: What? !
什么？！
Phoebe: I don't know. Me neither.
不知道。我也不知道。
Joey: You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had.
HEART 乐队不知道有多少动人的歌。
Chandler: Yeah.
没错。
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
“梭子鱼” 是我练键盘学的第一首歌。
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
你听过，弹过，所以那首歌是你写的啰？
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. Well I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it.
你们怎么还争啊？老实说我有大笑，但是我看不太懂。
Ross: What, you didn't get it? The doctor is a monkey.
什么？你看不懂？那个医生是只猴子。
Chandler: And monkeys can't write out prescriptions. You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
猴子没办法开处方。我的笑话不准你笑。
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think 'the Hef' would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah dollars.
你的笑话？海夫纳（花花公子创办人）可不同意，所以他寄了这张支票给我，一百美元。
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
你偷我的笑话，还偷我的钱。
Ross: You know, I was gonna stick it in the ATM, but now I think I'll show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
我本来想直接存进自动柜员机的，现在我决定让那位性感银行女职员，知道我是个作家。
Chandler: Well, she is gonna know that you stole the joke.
她会知道你是偷来的。
Ross: Oh, what're you gonna do, follow me down there?
你想怎样，跟着我去吗？
Chandler: Yeah!
没错。
Ross: Well, I'm not gonna go now anyway.
反正我现在又不去。
Chandler: Ok.
好。
Gunther: Here you go.
你的帐单。
Joey: Oh. Ah, Gunther, I can't pay for this right now 'cause uh I'm not working, so I've had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, paying for stuff.
甘瑟，我现在不能付我没工作，得节省不必要的开销像付帐之类的。
Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
如果你愿意的话，你可以来这里工作。
Joey: Uh, I don't know. It's uh, it's just, see, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? And, and to go from that to this, it is I just...And Plus you know, I'd have to wait on all my friends.
我不晓得……只是我演过连续剧，你知道的。从明星到服务生，我实在…而且还得招呼我的朋友。
Gunther: Ok, but the money's good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
好，但薪水很高，还可以随时看瑞秋看个够。
Joey: What? !
什么？！
Gunther: Flexible hours.
工作时间有弹性。
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
也许可以喔，可以用电话吗？
Monica: She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
她选瑞秋她想改口。但是很明显，她选瑞秋。
Chandler: He he took my joke, he did he took it.
他偷了我的笑话，就这样偷了。
Monica: It's wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
这样是不对的，还有什么是不对的？菲比选了瑞秋。
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke.
知道还有谁会选瑞秋吗？罗斯。知道罗斯还做了什么吗？他偷了我的笑话。
Chandler: You know what? I'm gonna have a joke journal. You know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
我要买一本笑话日志，记录我每次讲笑话的日期时间。
Monica: That's a good idea.
好主意。
Chandler: Eh!
额！
Monica: You know what's a bad idea?
你知道什么主意不好吗？
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
选择瑞秋。
Monica: That's right.
没错。
Monica: Did you hear something?
什么声音？
Chandler: Uh, maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
也许是罗斯爬进我的脑袋，窃取我的思绪。
Monica: I think it's coming from the living room.
是客厅传来的。
Joey: I finished my book.
我的书看完了。
Monica: Hey, you guys.
你们好。
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
嘿。
Monica: Oh, don't you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
你们好可爱。真是可爱的一对。
Rachel: Monica, what're you doing?
莫妮卡，你在干嘛？
Monica: Nothing, I'm just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. Remember, when, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
没什么，我只是想制造出前两天的乐趣。就是你选瑞秋，不选我那次？多好玩啊。
Phoebe: I guess it was kind of funny.
是蛮好玩的。
Monica: It wasn't funny at all!
一点也不好玩！
Monica: Why would you do that? Why, why didn't you pick me?
你为什么选她？为什么不选我？
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just, you know, you're...just...kinda high maintenance. Ok let's go to lunch!
好，我之所以比较倾向瑞秋是因为你…有点难搞，我们去吃饭吧！
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think I'm high maintenance? Ok, prove it. I want you to write out a list and we're gonna go through it point by point!
哪有这回事，你觉得我难搞？证明给我看，你列一张清单，我们逐条讨论。
Phoebe: No, you're right. You're easy going. You're just not as easy going as Rachel. You know, she's just more flexible and and mellow. That's all.
你说得对，你很好相处。你只是没有瑞秋那么好相处，她比较有弹性，比较圆融。
Rachel: Well you and people are different.
每个人都不一样。
Phoebe: Yeah, you know, Rachel...she'll do whatever you want. You know, you can just walk all over her.
你知道瑞秋，你让她做什么，她就做什么。你可以随便操纵她。
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What what're you saying, that I'm a pushover? I'm not a pushover.
什么？等一下。你是说我是个软弱的人？我不是！
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you're not a pushover.
哦，好，对，你不是。
Rachel: Oh my...you think I'm a pushover. Well watch this, you know what? You're not invited to lunch.
噢，天呀！你竟然认为我是个软弱的人。好吧，听着，我们不带你去吃午饭。
Rachel: What do you think of that? I think that's pretty strong, that's what I think. Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch.
你觉得怎么样？我觉得够劲，我就是这么想的。快点，莫尼卡，我们去吃午饭。
Monica: You start working on that list.
把清单列出来。
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
她真让人难以置信。
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat? Aww. Oh! I love that Japanese place.
就是啊，你想吃什么？我很喜欢那家日本料理。
Monica: Uck, I'm sick of Japanese. We're not going there.
我吃腻日本菜了，不要去那家。
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
那你想去哪里，你决定吧。
Monica: All right.
好。
Ross: Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
甘瑟，你看。
Gunther: Yeah, that that Chandler cracks me up.
那个钱德真的很好笑。
Joey: Hey, Ross, listen uh, you want anything to drink, 'cause I'm heading up there.
罗斯，你要喝什么吗？我要去柜台。
Ross: Uh, yeah, I'll take a coffee. Thanks, man.
要，我要咖啡，谢了。
Joey: Sure.
不客气。
Joey: Coffee?
咖啡？
Rachel: No.
不要。
Joey: Coffee? 'Cause I'm going up there.
要咖啡吗？我要去柜台。
Monica: No, thank you.
不用了。
Joey: Ok. You guys need anything, 'cause I'm heading up there.
需要什么吗？我要去柜台。
Woman: I'd love an ice water.
我要一杯冰水。
Joey: You got it.
没问题。
Monica: Joey, what're you doing?
乔伊，你在干什么？
Joey: Just being friendly.
表示友善啊。
Rachel: Joey, honey, I don't think you're supposed to go back there.
乔伊，你不能去柜台后面。
Joey: Nah, nah, it's ok. Right, Gunther?
没关系啦，对吧，甘瑟？
Gunther: Don't wink at me. And put on your apron.
别跟我使眼色，把围裙穿上。
Joey: Ok, but I don't see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
穿就穿，你怎么不叫其他客人穿围裙。
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
乔伊，你在这里打工吗？
Joey: No.
没有。
Customer: Waiter.
服务生。
Joey: Yeah?
什么事？
Monica: Joey, what's going on. Why, why didn't you tell us you work here?
乔伊，怎么回事？你为什么不告诉我们？
Joey: It's kind of embarrassing you know? I mean, I was an actor and now I'm a waiter. It's supposed to go in the other direction.
这件事蛮尴尬的，我之前是演员，现在是服务生，一般应该反过来才对。
Chandler: So is your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.
你的围裙也反穿成披风了。
Joey: I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know? I guess I'm gonna be hanging out here anyway.
这份工作很简单，薪水很高，反正我都在这混，干脆赚个钱。
Joey: I might as well get paid for it, right? Just, feel kind of weird serving you guys. You know?
只是要招呼你们感觉很怪。
Rachel: Joey, Come on, I did it and it was fine.
乔伊，我也做过，还好啊。
Ross: Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, uh can I get some coffee?
对啊，怎么会怪？乔伊，帮我端个咖啡。
Joey: Ok, I guess that doesn't seem that weird.
确实没那么怪。
Ross: Seriously, I I asked you before, you still haven't gotten it.
我说真的，我点的咖啡还没来。