Monica: The reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
我约你们来吃早午餐，是因为我一直在想首席伴娘的问题。
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it. I really hope it's you!
天啊，这一刻终于到来了。我希望是你。
Phoebe: I hope it's you.
我希望是你。
Rachel: Me too!
我也这么想！
Monica: First of all, I love you both so much and you're both so important to me…
首先，我非常爱你们。你们两个对我来说都很重要…
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla! ! Who is it? !
好了，别罗嗦了！！到底选谁？
Monica: Well um, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other.Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine…
嗯，也许我们可以定一个规则，互换做对方的伴娘。比方说假设菲比是我的…
Phoebe: Yes! Oh! !
成了！噢！
Rachel: Hypothetically!
是假设的！
Phoebe: Still.
那也是我。
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor…
如果菲比是我的伴娘…
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebe's, I would be Rachel's,that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
瑞秋会是菲比的，我会是瑞秋的，那样我们每人都有机会做一次，也不会有人不高兴了。
Rachel: Yeah that's actually a pretty good idea.
对，那确实是个好主意。
Phoebe: Yeah, I'll do that. So who gets to be yours?
好，就那样。那谁会做你的？
Monica: Well that's the best part. Um, you guys get to decide!
那是最棒的部分了，你们来决定。
Phoebe: Why is that the best part?
为什么那是最棒的？
Monica: Because then I don't have to!
因为那样就不用我来决定！
Rachel: Of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you!
我们当然会帮你决定！我们会尽我们所能帮你！
Rachel: Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing, my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that…
现在，我要来一段祝酒辞，为未来的钱德勒·宾太太，我的好友，世上最好的人…
Monica: I'm really not deciding!
我真的不想下决定！
Rachel: Fine!
好吧！
Woman: Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing, you're marrying Chandler Bing?
打搅了，我不是故意要偷听的。你要嫁给钱德勒·宾？
Monica: Yeah that's right.
没错，正是。
Woman: Huh, good luck!
哼，祝你好运！
Phoebe: And good luck to you too! What a nice lady!
喔，也祝你好运！多好的人！
Chandler and Joey: Yeah!
太棒了！
Chandler: Die Hard still great!
《虎胆龙威》 还是那么棒！
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
就是。咱们再来部片子怎么样？
Chandler: What else'd you rent?
你还租了什么？
Joey: Die Hard 2.
《虎胆龙威2》。
Chandler: Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
乔伊，这还是《虎胆龙威1》。
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!
噢，那再看一遍不就是《虎胆龙威2》了！
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
乔伊，我们才看过！
Joey: And?
那又怎样？
Ross: And it'll be cool to see it again! Yeah!
那再看一遍也很酷！
Joey and Ross: Yeah! Die Hard!
太棒了！《虎胆龙威》！
Ross: Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
兄弟，你没有说《虎胆龙威》。你还好吗？
Chandler: Yeah, I just got uh, got plans.
没事，我只是，还有事。
Ross: Well, John McLane had plans!
约翰·麦克莱恩也有事要做（龙胆虎威主角）。
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
不，是这样，我想在乔伊开始激动管谁都叫“贱人”之前离开。
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
你在瞎说什么？贱人。
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
嘿，瑞秋。
Rachel: Yeah?
什么事？
Phoebe: When I get married will you be my maid of honor?
我结婚时，你愿意当我的首席伴娘吗？
Rachel: Really? !
真的？！
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean I'm just Wait a minute.If I'm your maid of honor that means you are Monica's.
我的天啊，菲比，我是说我慢着。如果我是你的首席伴娘，那表示你是莫妮卡的。
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if that's what you want.
噢！好啊，如果你想那样的话。
Rachel: No way Phoebe! I want to be Monica's!
想都别想菲比，我要当莫妮卡的首席伴娘。
Phoebe: But why does it even matter? !
可这有什么关系的呢？！
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you? !
那这对你来说有什么关系呢？！
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And it's two of our best friends! Who knows what you're gonna marry!
因为这一个可是现在的！再说是我们的两个好朋友！谁知道你会嫁给谁呢！
Rachel: What if I marry Ross? Or Joey?
那如果我嫁给了罗斯？或乔伊呢？
Phoebe: You wouldn't!
你不会的。
Phoebe: Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this,but I've never been maid of honor to anyone before!And I know you've done it at least twice!
瑞秋，我知道你真的想当莫妮卡的首席伴娘，但我从来没有当过首席伴娘。我知道你至少当过两次伴娘。
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe…
对，但是菲比
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. Oh I guess that was it.
还有，噢拜托，请让我说完。噢，我好像说完了。
Rachel: Okay. Okay. It's since you've never done it before you can be Monica's made of honor.
好吧。既然你没有当过伴娘，你可以当莫妮卡的首席伴娘。
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much!
噢，太谢谢你了！
Rachel: I'm gonna marry someone good you know.
我一定会嫁给好男人，知道吗？
Phoebe: Oh I know.
我知道。
Rachel: Better than Chandler.
比钱德勒还棒。
Ross: What happened?
发生了什么？
Joey: I don't know!
我不知道！
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
我们睡着了！仅此而已。
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well, I'd better go.
对。没错。好的，嗯，我还是走吧。
Ross: Yeah. I think that would be best.
我想那最好不过。
Joey: All right, I'll talk to you later.
好的，我晚点再和你聊吧。
Ross: Okay. But not about this!
好。但不能说这个！
Joey: No! Never! Never! Bye.
不说！永远不说！绝不！再见。
Ross: No touch! No touch!
避免接触！避免接触！
Monica: Hey, you know, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch.This woman overheard that I was marrying you and then she wished me good luck.
我去吃早午餐时，发生了一件怪事。有个女人不经意听到我要嫁给你，她跑来祝我好运。
Chandler: That's sweet.
真贴心。
Monica: No, it's more like a "good luck".
不，更像是要说"瞧好吧您"。
Chandler: So, what did this woman look like?
那个女人长什么样子？
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
她大概30岁，深色头发，很漂亮。
Chandler: Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
你该不会是刚好看到一种又亮又白的叫做镜子的东西吧？
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
拜托，会是你大学时的女朋友吗？
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive. Hold on one second. let me check this out.
不在大学时，我只交过两个女朋友都是金发，都不漂亮。等一下，让我看看。
Monica: What are you doing?
你在做什么？
Chandler: Well, let's see. Okay, is that her?
来瞧瞧。没错，是她吗？
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
噢天啊，是她！她是谁？
Chandler: Julie Grath, my camp girlfriend.
朱莉·格拉菲，我夏令营时的女友。
Monica: Did you break up with her?
你和她分手了吗？
Chandler: No, we're still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
不，我们还在一起。我们交往了两个暑假，后来我跟她分手了。
Monica: Why?
为什么？
Chandler: Well, because she came back the third summers and she'd gotten really fa-…
嗯，因为她第三个暑假时变得非常肥-
Monica: Fat? !
肥胖？！
Chandler: I did not say fat! I said, "Fa-…"
我没说肥胖！我说，"肥-"
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat? !
你和那女孩分手就因为她肥？！
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad?
是啊。是啊，但那是很久很久以前的事了！她还觉得难受吗？
Monica: Apparently she does.
很明显是的。
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget.Seriously, good luck marrying me.
俗话说"大象很记仇",说真的，和我结婚，祝你好运。
Joey: Hey! What's going on?
怎么了？
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monica's maid of honor!
菲比将成为莫妮卡的首席伴娘。
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember?
嘿！我希望这次能比你上次给楼下那女孩当伴娘要做得好些，记得吗？
Rachel: You have been maid of honor before? !
你当过首席伴娘？！
Phoebe: You see? This is exactly why you shouldn't lie!
看吧，人就是不能说谎。
Rachel: All right that's it! I am maid of honor!
够了，我是首席伴娘。
Phoebe: No, I am.
才不，我是！
Rachel: How come you are? !
为什么是你？！
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
因为我在乎到不惜说慌。
Joey: Hey, I can help you decide who should do it!
嘿，我可以帮你们决定，该由谁来当！
Joey: Yeah, we could have like an audition and see how you'd handle maid of honor type situations.
试镜吧。看看你们当首席伴娘时会怎么处理突发状况。
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
你在说什么呢？
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if I'm the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
就像我想要演一个角色，我会去试演，如果我是他们面试的人里最好的，他们就会给我那个角色。
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
好啊，那试镜完，谁来决定首席伴娘人选？
Joey: Oh, me and Ross can be the judges.
噢，我和罗斯可以当评委。
Phoebe: Well, it's better than us deciding.
那总好过我们自己决定。
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Can't we just flip a coin? !
噢，拜托！这多疯狂！不能抛硬币决定吗？！
Phoebe: No! Coins hate me!
不干！硬币讨厌我！
Rachel: Okay fine, you know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. Hi, Ross! Sweetie.
好，就这样吧，让罗斯和乔伊决定。嗨，罗斯 亲爱的。
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing.
你好啊，大帅哥。
Ross: Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Georgio.
哇，这古龙水的香味和阿玛尼香水一样诱人
Joey: Hi.
嗨。
Ross: Just, brought back your videos.
只是，把录像带还给你。
Joey: Hey look, Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
嘿，罗斯，我想咱们该谈谈之前的事。
Ross: No! No we don't!
不！不，我们没什么好说的！
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!
就要说！听着，那是我这辈子睡过的最棒的小睡！
Ross: I don't know what you are talking about.
我不知道你在说什么。
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
少来了，承认吧。那是你睡过最香甜的一觉。
Ross: I've had better.
我睡过更好的。
Joey: Okay! When? !
是吗！什么时候？！
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
好吧！好吧！那是我最好的小睡！
Ross: I've said it! Okay? ! But it's over Joey!
我承认，好吗？！但那已经过去了，乔伊！
Joey: I want to do it again.
我想再来一次。
Ross: We can't do it again.
我们不能再来一次。
Joey: Why not?
为什么？
Ross: Because it's weird!
因为那太诡异了！
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
行吧。想喝点东西吗？
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
好啊，你有什么？
Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin P.M.
温牛奶和安眠药。
Monica: Chandler! Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
钱德勒，钱德勒。我刚刚想到你是谁。
Chandler: Can you figure out what I'm doing?
你能想出我正在干什么吗？
Monica: You're Lewis Posin.
你是路易斯·波森。
Chandler: Who?
谁？
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade,and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no.Do you know why?
路易斯·波森！他是我五年级时最好的朋友。有一天我要他当我男朋友，他拒绝了。你知道为什么吗？
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom? !
因为你在他想上厕所的时候，不停的跟他讲话？！
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa….And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade!you know, I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
不！因为他觉得我太肥...每次想到这件事我都会和五年级时一样难过。你知道吗，我真的觉得你该跟朱莉道歉。
Chandler: Honey, are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
甜心，你在开玩笑吗？那是十六年前的事。
Monica: No, I know. But you know what?It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
我明白。但你可知道，如果路易斯能跟我道歉，我会觉得好过一点。
Chandler: Okay, I will do it.But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
好吧，但我警告你这会让我变成更好的人。那可不是你爱上的那个男人。
Joey: All right, this is how it's going to work.We're gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10,1 being the highest.
好了，规则是这样的。我们出题假设伴娘所遇到的情景，并会给你们打分，从1分到10分。1分是最高分。
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
不对，10分才是最高分。
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
为什么10分是最高分？
Ross: Because it's the highest.
就因为它是最高的。
Ross: Okay, Rachel you're up first.
好，瑞秋，你先来。
Situation No. 1: You're with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go!
一号突发状况：你跟莫妮卡在一起。婚礼就要开始了，莫妮卡想临阵脱逃，开始！
Joey: I don't want to marry Chandler!
我不想嫁给钱德勒！
Rachel: Okay, uh…
好的，嗯…
Joey: I've got cold feet.
我想临阵脱逃。
Rachel: it's gonna be okay!
不会有事的！
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I don't know if I can do it!This means I'll never get to sleep with Joey!
不行啊，这辈子就只和一个男人过？我不知道自己做不做得到！就是说我再也不能和乔伊上床了。
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common.You know, it's just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler.And also, I ran out on a wedding. You don't get to keep the gifts.
莫妮卡，怯婚是很普遍的。因为期待太多。记着你爱钱德勒。我也逃过婚。新婚礼物你就都得不到了。
Joey: Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
非常好！用上你自己的经验，我喜欢。
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
很好，瑞秋。
Rachel: Thank you judges.
谢谢评委。
Phoebe: Kiss ass.
马屁精。
Joey: Okay, Phoebe.
菲比该你了。
Phoebe: Yes! Your honor?
是的！评委大人？