JACKSON, MISS. — I once spent two years as a high school French teacher. I took the post because I was divorcing and needed a paycheck. The school took me even though I had no teaching experience because, under Mississippi law, if a school is hard up for a teacher, it can hire anyone the state designates an “expert citizen.”
密西西比州.杰克逊城 -- 我曾在高中当过两年的法语教师。我之所以干这份工作是因为我正要离婚需要钱。我没有教学经历，而这所学校坚持聘用我的原因是根据密西西比州的法律，如果一所学校缺一位教师，它就可以聘用任何一位州政府指派的“专家市民”。

For some reason, I found the citizen part personally touching. It conveyed a sense of responsibility packed along with my new, free Blue Cross insurance card and pad of pink detention slips. Yes, though I felt failed and foolish starting over at 48, my credentials were a consolation prize. They said I was an expert when it came to French drills for ninth graders, even if I was not an expert at staying married.
因为某种原因，去尽一个公民的责任打动了我。它和免费的蓝十字保险卡及几张粉红色的留校说明书（老师罚学生用的填写表格，译者），代表着一种责任。没错，我知道在48岁时想东山再起是迫不得已且愚不可及，但我的学历却给了我信心。他们说我教九年级学生法语绝对是个专家，可我连自己的婚姻都保不住。
I quit in 2006, and went back to my old day job of journalism. But not long afterward, a friend asked me to give French lessons to an acquaintance of hers. The woman had just divorced. As part of rebooting her life, she wanted to learn French. I reflexively said yes.
我在2006年辞去了这份工作，回到传媒业干老本行。但没过多久，一位朋友请我给她的一个熟人教法语。那位女士刚离婚不久。作为重新开始生活的一个内容，她想学学法语。我随口便答应了。
She came to my house the next Saturday morning. She was 53, with long brown hair and a job dealing with cellphone towers. I taught her the ABCs and how to introduce herself. I found myself asking her about her divorce, and telling her about mine. The next Saturday, we practiced “ça va?” and “merci.” I had more divorce questions for her and some thoughts to share with her about mine.
她在第二个周六的早上便来到了我家。她53岁了，留着棕色的长发，工作是管理移动通讯的基站。我给她从ABC讲起，教她怎样用法语介绍自己。我询问了她离婚的事情，也把自己离婚的情况讲给她听。到了下一个周六，我教她用法语说“你好吗？”，还有“谢谢”等。我想问她更多离婚的情况，也想和她讲我离婚的事。
This was more fun than my high school job. Word spread about the French lessons. More people asked to come. I organized classes at my dining-room table and named my business Le Salon Français. Soon, I had four weekly classes coming to my house, one at Thursday lunch and three on weeknights.
这比我在高中教课有意思多了。我教人学法语的事不胫而走，越来越多的人来找我学。我在餐桌上办起了法语学习班，并把我的授课称为“客厅法语学习班”。很快，我每周要在家里开四次课，一次是在周四的午饭时间，另三次是在周末晚上。
It was time to buy textbooks. My old school district, like most in the area, still used the 1997 textbook “Discovering French,” full of white teenagers like Isabelle and Jean-Paul, outdated even then, who party down in pleated pants, shaking their manes of moussed hair to the beat of their Walkman cassettes. Skits on the accompanying videos featured teenagers’ soirees, throbbing with ’80s pop on the record player.
现在该买教科书了。和这个地方大部分学区一样，我所在的老学区，依然用着1997年出版的教科书--“发现法语”，里头都是一些诸如伊萨贝尔和让.保罗这样的白人孩子，这在当年就已经过时了，他们穿着褶裥裤参加聚会，跟着随身听里头的音乐拼命晃动着用摩斯固定着发型的脑袋。在附属视频教材上表演的滑稽节目介绍了青少年的社交活动，他们随着录音机里播放的八十年代流行音乐疯狂起舞。
Mississippi perpetually stands near the bottom in public-school spending, and the time-frozen textbook reflected it. It seemed like the rest of the country was through with this publication, judging from the number of copies I found for sale online. I could buy them for $2.95 each. Lots of additional used “Discovering French” paraphernalia were out there. I presume they were semi-fenced goods from French teachers in other poor states like Louisiana and Nevada. Some teacher must have been quietly liquidating the contents of her room’s book closet to sweeten her budget for a summer trip. One week, an extra set of the videos came up on eBay. I was outbid, interestingly. I have to wonder who else could possibly have wanted them.
密西西比州花在公立学校上的支出一直都是最少的，从教科书一成不变就可见一斑。我看了看网上出售的几种教课书，似乎美国其他地方早就不用这份教材了。一本只卖2.95美元。许多用过的“发现法语”附属教材也都能买到。我相信这些都是其他比较穷的州，如路易斯安那和内华达州法语教师们的半私人物品。有些教师肯定处理掉了书柜里的一些书，为暑假外出旅游凑些费用。一次，另外一套视频教材出现在了易趣网上。我赶紧拍了下来。我都怀疑是否还有人会要这种东西。
I don’t think people came to my classes for “Discovering French.” I think I was drawing in other wrecked people via spiritual attraction. Most of my students were women in their 50s, getting over one kind of trauma or another, as I was. Among 16 students, there were seven divorces, including one that involved coming out of the closet; a few breakdowns; two murders of loved ones; cancer; rehab; and caretaker responsibilities for a bedridden sister.
我知道那些找我学习的人并不是为了来学“发现法语”。我相信是精神上的需要吸引了那些受过挫折的人。我的大部分学生都是五十多岁的中年妇女，和我一样，她们遭遇过各种挫折。在16名学生中，有7位离异，其中一位还公开了自己的性取向；有几位精神几近崩溃；两位杀了自己的亲人；癌症患者；戒毒的；还有一位负责照顾卧床不起的姐妹。
Did I mention that our lessons paused for two weeks for me to have an emergency craniotomy, or that my dog, Sonny, was dying of cancer himself under the dining-room table?
我有没有讲过我曾停课两个星期，去做了一个急诊穿颅手术，否则我的爱犬--索尼就会躺在餐桌下因癌症而孤独死去？
We progressed from pronunciation to the gender of nouns to the present tense. We paused to hear one another’s updates. No matter if we told time in lesson four or play-ordered sandwiches in lesson nine, we always had time for the latest when it came to someone’s divorce, child custody situation, criminal appeal or change of medication.
我们从名词性的发音学到一般现在时。我们停下来了解彼此的学习进展。无论我们是在第四课讲怎样说时间，还是在第九课讲怎样订三明治，只要说到某个人的离异，孩子监护，刑事上诉或换药治病等事情，我们都会转而来聊这个话题。
To tell the truth, the foreign-language gene was recessive in my salons. Sometimes we’d cover the same material three weeks in a row, and it didn’t seem any more familiar to them the third time than the first. After a year, we’d made it only to page 106, lesson 15. It was where the French I class at my high school would have been by January.
实际上，学习班学法语的时间在逐步减少。有时候我们连续三周都在学同样的内容，而且学生们在第三次学同样的内容时一点也不比第一次学时熟悉。一年后，我们只学到了106页的第十五课。这是我在高中教法语时在一月份应该达到的进度。
My oldest student was 83. The class wasn’t easy for her because her hearing aid crackled a lot. One week I realized that I was turning textbook pages for her during class. I did it as automatically as I used to cut the meat on my daughters’ plates, never slowing the conversation.
我学生中年龄最大的已经83岁。上课对她不是件易事，因为她的助听器已经破旧不堪。一次上课时，我意识到自己在帮她翻书页。我这不经意的举动就像（在吃饭时）帮女儿切盘子里的肉那样自然，根本不影响我讲课。
But my students weren’t discouraged by their progress. Nor was I.
但我的学生们并没有因为学习进度慢而感到沮丧，我也没有。
“Guess what I did yesterday,” my 83-year-old student asked me one day. “I counted the cars that drove down the street — in French. I counted to 126!” She wore little round black-framed glasses like a hip architect and a pressed white blouse. She smiled and lifted her chin. “Of course, I’ve always said French things to myself. I’ve had a spiritual reading, and the lady said I’ve lived several lives in France. That’s why it’s all so natural for me.”
有一天，那位83岁的学生问我：“猜猜我昨天干了什么？”"我数了从街上开过的汽车数，用法语。我数到了126！“她戴着一副圆圆的黑边框眼镜，像一位时尚的建筑设计师，身穿一件紧身白色衬衫。她笑得扬起了下巴。”当然，我总是用法语对自己说话。我算过一次命，那位女士说我前几辈子都是法国人。这就是为什么所有的东西对我都是那么自然。“
One student said, “I’m dreaming in French now.” This was great news, though maybe a little curious, since her class had a repertory of exactly 12 verbs and hadn’t gotten to sentences yet. Another responded, “When I pray in the mornings, I do it in French.”
还有一位学生说：”我现在用法语做梦。“这是个了不起的事情，虽然有点儿不可思议，因为她上的那个班一共只学了12个动词，还没有开始学造句。另一个学员则回答说：”我早上祈祷时，都是用法语。“
But perhaps the most rewarding response was that of a woman — let’s call her Elaine — whose French bliss was even simpler. All she had to do was say “un jus d’orange.” She said it over and over. The sensuality of the syllables transported her. She’d throw back her chin as her eyes rolled back in her head, halfway home on the Meg Ryan spectrum of pleasure. French phonetics can do that.
但最让我受感动的是一位女学员（暂且称她为伊莱恩）--学法语给她带来的愉悦更朴实。她只会用法语说”一杯橙汁“。她反复说这句话。这个句子的音节产生的愉悦感染了她。她眼睛向上翻，扬起下颚，像梅格.瑞恩那样忘怀快乐。法语的发音居然有这样的功效。
When I declared my marriage over and myself a French teacher, I figured all I had to do was stay a mere 30 minutes ahead of my students to come off as proficient enough to teach them. That worked for ninth graders, but in adult education, I don’t kid myself that I know anything more than my classes in terms of the core curriculum, which is this: French can save you. So can particle physics, furniture refinishing or any other endeavor you take up while the world spins on. Compartmentalize a spot in your reeling head, and that little space becomes a refuge, full of possibility. At least for one hour a week, anyway.
在我公开我已经离异，自己是一名法语教师时，我想我只需做到比我的学生领先30分钟，能表现出自己足以胜任教他们就行了。这个办法对那些九年级的孩子管用，但在教成人时，我不认为我对法语教科书的知识比我的学生多，那就是：法语可以拯救你。只要生活继续，粒子物理学，油漆家具或你从事任何工作都有这样的作用。在你眩晕的大脑里划出一片区域，把这一小块地方当成避难所，让它装满各种可能。不管怎样，一个星期能有一小时这样做就可以了。