(单词翻译:单击)
You suck at cooking, yeah you totatatata—totally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，弱弱弱弱弱爆了。
Mashing potatoes on an old Norse sloping tray.
在北欧斜底旧托盘上捣土豆泥。
It's a little holiday DIY project.
今天是节日DIY节目。
You're just gonna take a cantaloupe, cut some eye holes and a nose hole. Cut a mouth hole.
拿一个哈密瓜，挖两个洞当眼睛，一个洞当鼻子，再来一个洞当嘴巴。
Put some glue around that mouth, take some cotton...aaand...
在嘴巴周围涂上些胶水，拿点棉花，然后……
You want to get a classic Christmasy hat.
可以弄一顶经典的圣诞帽子。
Or if you don't have one, a red bag will do, and then you have a...a santaloupe.
如果没有圣诞帽子的话，一个红色袋子也可以，然后就有了“哈密瓜圣诞老人”。
Or a Sant-o-Lantern.
或者“圣诞灯笼”。
And it perfectly bridges the gap between, uh, Christmas and Halloween, or Hallowistmas, as it's known.
这个哈密瓜巧妙地连接了圣诞节和万圣节，也可以说是“万圣诞节”。
Super handsome.
太帅了。
Now, the fruitcake is a christmas tradition that gets a really bad rap; a lot of people say it's gross—especially kids.
水果蛋糕是一种不被人待见的圣诞节传统食物，许多人说水果蛋糕很恶心，特别是小孩。
But, if you revisit this as an adult, I can almost guarantee you that you'll agree that the combination of textures and flavours, and density...
但是如果以成年人的眼光再看看这个东西，我可以向你保证，你会同意水果蛋糕的质地、口味和密度……
can hold down almost any garbage can, even under windy conditions.
能压住任何垃圾桶，就算是刮风，垃圾桶也不会倒。
Pringle shells, pringle shells, pringle shells and cheese.
品客薯片贝壳意面，品客薯片贝壳意面，品客薯片贝壳意面还有芝士。
Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. Nope.
嗯哼。嗯嗯。不行。
A nativity scene, like this one, helps us remember the miracle of how white people traveled to the Middle East 2,000 years ago.
像这样的耶稣降生画面，让我们想起了两千年前白种人怎样奇迹般地来到中东。
The Christmas tree is a lovely tradition of selecting one lucky tree to come inside and enjoy the warmth all winter, and then it dies and...
圣诞树是一个可爱的传统，挑选一棵幸运的树搬进家中，让它一整个冬天都可以享受温暖，然后死去……
you can use the traditional bulbs and lights, which are beautiful, or you can add your own touches.
你可以挂上传统的灯球装饰，这些都很漂亮，也可以自由发挥一下。
I've uh, put a beautiful piece of scotch tape.
我就在树上放了一条美丽的苏格兰胶带。
I've also added a lovely-looking piece of whole wheat bread.
还放了一片模样乖巧的全麦面包。
I added a touch of sparkle with a crushed tin can and
还用一个捏瘪的易拉罐来增添一些光彩，以及
a dollop of warmth with a piping hot bowl of corn chowder.
一碗滚烫的玉米浓汤来增添暖意。
And a cool trend that's been happening lately is if you take your leftovers from the kitchen and put them directly in the tree,
最近很潮的一种做法是，如果把厨房里的剩菜直接倒在树上，
by January 2nd the whole tree will break down into a nice little pile of compost,
到了1月2日，整棵树就会分解成一堆不错的堆肥，
and you can just rub that directly into your floors, instead of hauling your tree to the road like a jackass, so that's really nice.
然后你就能把这些肥料直接涂在地板上，而不是像有些傻瓜一样把树拖到大街上，所以真的很不错。
Check the dolls for flowered caullieee.
在洋娃娃里找找花菜。
We're going to whip up a quick batch of easy Christmas cookies.
我们来快速做一些简单的圣诞节曲奇。
You're going to need some wax paper, flour, eggs, sugar, salt, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, butter, sour cream, food coloring.
需要一些蜡纸、面粉、鸡蛋、糖、盐、泡打粉、小苏打、香草精、酸奶油、食用色素。
and what you're going to do is...
然后你要做的就是……
You ask my mom to bake the cookies for you, then you grab your Dremel tool, and you just....
让你妈妈把曲奇给你烤好，然后拿出琢美牌工具，然后……
There's a snowman.
就做出了一个雪人。
You just get a tighter bit going here.
把钻头拧紧一点。
And your Christmas tree.
又做出了一个圣诞树。
Here, we have, obviously, a reindeer.
这一个，很明显，是一只驯鹿。
That's the head, um, probably wanna...probably have to glue a horn on......to him and uh...
这是头，嗯，或许可以……或许可以粘个角上去……然后……
That's pretty much Christmas for... for you.
差不多就是送给你们的圣诞节曲奇了。
Let's make a snowflake, I guess.
我想我们再做些雪花吧。
You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck, oh my god you suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，耶，完全弱爆了，哦我的天你弱爆了。
You suck at cooking, yeah you to-ta-ta-ta-ta-to-tally suck.
你的厨艺弱爆了，耶，完全弱弱弱弱弱爆了。
This might take a while...
可能还得磨好一会儿……
