(单词翻译:单击)
Okay. So now here is the really tough question.
好吧。现在有一个非常棘手的问题。
What if you are the difficult person, like how do you figure that out and what do you do about it?
如果你是那个难相处的人，你是怎么发现的，你会怎么做？
So when I handed in the manuscript for this book, I think it was 50% longer than it was supposed to be and every chapter included this section.
我交上这本书的手稿时，我认为它比预期的要长50%，每一章都包括这一部分。
If you are the passive aggressive peer, what to do.
如果你是被动进攻型的同伴，该怎么做？
If you are the insecure manager.
如果你是缺乏安全感的经理。
It makes me so sad we had to cut them out because I do think it’s really important that people recognize that sometimes they are that archetype, they are exhibiting that behavior, and yet it is so hard to see that.
我们不得不把他们剔除，这让我很难过，因为我认为人们意识到，有时他们就是那种原型，他们表现出那种行为，这很重要，但我们很难看到这一点。
I do think reading the common behaviors at the beginning of each chapter will help you see of like, ooh, do I do that?
我确实认为阅读每一章开头的常见行为会帮助你理解，哦，我是那样的吗？
Does that sound like me?
这听起来像我吗？
And if you suspect it does, ask someone you trust for some frank feedback, someone who’s going to really tell you how it is.
如果你怀疑是这样的话，问问你信任的人，让他给你一些坦率的反馈，让他告诉你这件事真正是怎样的。
And think back on your reviews, think back on the feedback you’ve gotten, does it all add up to some of this difficult behavior?
回想一下你的评论，回想一下你得到的反馈，所有都导致了这种难相处的行为吗？
If so, first of all, you’re in great company.
如果是这样的话，首先，你有很好的同伴。
We’ve all been there.
我们都有过这样的经历。
We’ve all been that difficult person on the team or in an interaction.
无论是在团队中还是在互动中，我们都是那个难相处的人。
So don’t beat yourself up, have some self-compassion of we’re not always our best selves.
所以，不要责备自己，要有一些自我同情，我们并不总是最好的自己。
We all bring baggage into our workplaces, into our relationships.
我们都会把包袱带到工作场所和人际关系中。
And then start doing a little bit of experimenting the same way you would, if you were trying to improve your relationship with someone else.
如果你想改善与其他人的关系，那么就开始用你想做的方式来做一些实验吧。
Think about, okay, if I’m passive aggressive is it because of a fear of failure?
想想看，如果我是被动攻击型的，是不是因为害怕失败？
Is it a fear of conflict?
这是对冲突的恐惧吗？
Is it a fear of rejection?
这是一种对拒绝的恐惧吗？
What can I shift in my consciousness or in my work interactions that will help assuage that some?
我可以在我的意识中或在我的工作互动中改变什么，以帮助缓解这种情绪？
Or are you being insecure because you’re concerned people are going to find out you’re not as qualified as you have projected yourself to be?
或者你没有安全感是因为你担心别人会发现你并不像自己想象的那样有资格?
How can you take steps so that fear is no longer a risk?
你如何采取措施，让恐惧不再是一种风险？
How can you make clear what you’re capable of and what you’re not in a way that makes you more comfortable in the way you interact with your coworkers?
你怎样才能让自己清楚地知道自己能做什么，不能做什么，从而让你在与同事相处时更自在?
And if I’m a manager of a team, how do I keep an eye out for these difficult people on the team, conflicts between teammates and try to facilitate solutions or should I be more hands off and empower people to do it by themselves?
如果我是一个团队的经理，我该如何留意团队中这些难相处的人，如何解决团队成员之间的冲突，或者我应该放手让大家自己去做?
I definitely think the latter in terms of empowering people to do it themselves, the more you intervene, the more you will need to intervene.
我绝对认为，在授权人们自己做这件事方面，你干预的越多，你就越需要干预。
Because people will say, oh you solved this problem for me last time, I have a new problem you can also solve for me.
因为人们会说，哦，你上次为我解决了这个问题，我有一个新的问题，你也可以为我解决。
So as much as you can, let them or empower them to resolve it themselves the better.
因此，尽你所能，让他们或授权他们自己更好地解决问题。
That said, you should be keeping an eye on the dynamics and asking people, how’s it going, working with the team?
这就是说，你应该密切关注动态，并询问人们，与团队合作进行得如何？
Do you have any concerns?
你有什么顾虑吗？
And hearing those people out.
听那些人把话说完。
I think oftentimes managers fear hearing about problems they don’t know how to solve.
我认为经理们常常害怕听到他们不知道如何解决的问题。
And sometimes just listening to the problem helps with the solution.
有时，仅仅倾听问题就能帮助解决问题。
And you actually don’t have to have an answer, but you can take steps to do many of the things we’ve talked about.
实际上，你不需要知道答案，但你可以采取措施来做我们已经讨论过的许多事情。
