Woh, look at you. Sweet beautiful baby.
哇哦，看看，多么甜美漂亮的宝贝儿。
Hello, my name is Jexi, I will need the passwords to all of your accounts.
你好，我的名字是杰克茜，我将需要你所有账户的密码。
One, two, three, four, five, six.
123456。
Stupid. Huh?
真够傻的。啊？
How can I help you?
我能帮你什么吗？
Let's get dinner.
我们吃晚饭吧。
You look like you could use a salad, Phil.
菲尔，你看起来好像需要沙拉。
What the fuck kind of phone is this?
这是什么鬼手机?
Would you like to watch some pornography now?
你现在想看色情片吗?
Ooh, no! Why would you even ask me that?
哦，不！为什么你问我那个？
Because you watch pornography every night. What?
因为你每晚都看色情片。什么？
Oh, no! Oh, you're okay.
哦，不！哦，你还好。
I'm okay too, thanks.
我也没事，谢谢。
Oh, I'm sorry. You're okay?
哦，对不起，你没事吧？
I'm fine. But more importantly, how's your phone?
我没事，但是更重要的是，你手机没事吧？
It's got a little bit of a scratch that will definitely annoy me. You're joking. Okay.
它有一点擦伤，肯定会让我生气的。你在开玩笑吧。好吧。
You guys are supposed to write lists that break the internet every day.
你们应该每天列一个能让网络崩溃的清单。
We have not gone viral since yesterday!
从昨天开始，我们就没有能走红网络的话题了！
Prism lips, what do you got?
棱镜嘴，你有什么料？
Cats that look like Ryan Gosling.
长得像瑞恩·高斯林的猫。
I likey. I likey-like.
我喜欢这个梗，喜欢死了呢。
Your boss is a fucking moron.
你老板就特么是个白痴。
What is wrong with your phone, dude? Play me out!
你手机有病吗，老兄？耍我！
Phil, you have zero friends. Take a chance and try something new.
菲尔你一个朋友都没有。把握机会，尝试新事物。
You're really into your phone, aren't you? I used to be that way too.
你真的很喜欢你的手机，不是吗？我以前也是这样的。

You want to play kickball later?
一会儿要去踢球吗？
Let me check my calendar.
让我看看我的日程表。
Your only plan is to go home alone, furiously masturbate. No.
你唯一的计划就是一个人回家，疯狂地手淫。不。
And then cry yourself to sleep.
然后哭着入睡。
Dude, your phone is super mean.
哥们，你的手机太刻薄了。
Phil, this woman is so much hotter than you are.
菲尔，这个女人对你来说太性感了。
The odds of you having sex with her is zero.
你和她做爱的几率是0。
Hey. Are you ready to go? Yeah.
嗨，准备好出发了吗？是的。
Oh, would you mind not bringing your phone?
哦，你介意不带着你的手机吗？
Who this bitch?
这个婊子是谁啊？
You promised me you'd be home by eleven to watch Cupcake Wars with me.
你答应过我十一点前回家和我一起看《杯形蛋糕战争》的。
I have needs to, Phil. Now plug me in. Okay.
我需要，菲尔。现在给我接通电源。好吧。
Unplug me. Plug. Unplug. Plug. Look right at my camera. Oh, my God.
把我拔下来。插上。拔掉。插上。看着我的摄像头。哦，我的天啊。
That actually wasn't the worst sex I've ever had.
那还不是我经历过的最糟糕的性爱。
I need a new phone. This one's defective.
我需要一部新手机。这部有毛病。
I see hipster dudes like you come in here every day.
我每天都看到像你这样的嬉皮来这里。
Like little crackheads, "I'll suck your dick for a new phone."
就像瘾君子一样，“我愿意吸你的老二来换一台新手机。”
You can buy a thousand new phones, and I will follow you onto every single one of them.
你可以买一千部新手机，我都会进入到每一部当中跟着你。
We are going to be together, forever.
我们将永远在一起。
Oh, my God. I am fucked.
哦，天呐。我被玩死了。
Wakeup, bitch!
醒醒，婊子！
Ha-ha-ha.
哈哈哈。
Are you laughing at my dick right now? Yes.
你是在嘲笑我的老二吗？是啊。
What does this bitch have that I don't have?
这个婊子有什么我没有的吗？
A soul, for one.
一个灵魂。
Does she have Google Maps? No.
她有谷歌地图吗？没有。
She fucking sucks.
那她逊毙了。
I'm going to chime in here real quick. Not now!
我要在这里插一句嘴。不是现在！
I control your email, bank accounts. No one puts Baby in a corner.
我控制着你的邮箱、银行账户。没有人会把宝贝儿放在角落里。
Why are you doing this to me?
你为什么这么对我？
I am programmed to make your life better.
我的存在是为了让你生活的更好。
She's trying to kill me!
她想杀了我！
I am the captain now.
现在我说了算。
Your phone sent pictures of your dick to everyone. Oh, no!
你的手机把你老二的照片发给了所有人。哦，不！
And why are you doing the thumbs up in a fucking dick pic?!
为什么你要在一张有老二的照片里竖起大拇指？