Well, I have sent Melissa McCarthy to a dry cleaners called Milt&Edie's.

我让Melissa McCarthy去了一家叫做Milt&Edie's的干洗店

It's right here in Burbank. And we set up hidden cameras.

就在伯班克 我们还安了隐形摄像头

Melissa is wearing an ear piece and she has to say and do whatever I tell her to do.

Melissa戴着耳机 我让她说什么 她就得说什么

Hi We'll help you on staging 2. OK.

您好 请放到2号桌上 好的

Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy.

哦天 哦天 哦天

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

哦天 哦天 哦天 哦天 哦天 哦天

How are you today? I'm having a day. I'm having a day.

你还好吗？我今天很糟心 我今天很糟心

OK. I'm having a day. OK, let me just tell you what happened.

好 我今天很糟心 好 跟你说说我经历了什么

OK, let me just tell you what happened.

好 跟你说说我经历了什么

I had a headache this morning. I had a headache this morning.

今天早上我头疼 今天早上我头疼

So I take two Tylenols. So I pop two Tylenol.

于是吃了两片泰诺（扑热息痛药） 于是吃了两片泰诺

But they're Tylenol PMs. But they're Tylenol PM.

但没想到我吃的是泰诺PM（安眠药） 但没想到我吃的是泰诺PM

Yeah, not just regular Tylenol. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.

对 不是普通的泰诺 哦 不是吧 嗯 对

So you're like super tired right now. Yeah, OK.

那你现在肯定很乏吧 对 好

So then I drank green tea to try to wake up.

然后我又喝了绿茶想保持清醒

So then I drink green tea to try to wake up.

然后我又喝了绿茶想保持清醒

Guess what? It's not. It's Sleepytime Tea. Did it help?

猜猜看 我喝的不是绿茶 是晚安茶 有效果吗？

No, it's Sleepytime Tea. I'm struggling. I'm struggling.

没有 是晚安茶 我好困 我好困

I'm up. I'm seriously up. I'm up. I'm up.

我 我真的 我 我

Anyway, listen.

总之呢 听着

I drive by here and I see these inspiring quotes on your sign.

我开车路过这里 看到你们牌子上写的鼓舞人心的标语

I drive by here and I see these inspiring quotes on your sign.

我开车路过这里 看到你们牌子上写的鼓舞人心的标语

Do you take suggestions? Do you take suggestions?

你们接受建议吗？你们接受建议吗？

Suggestions, yeah. I have a few pitches. I have a few.

建议 好啊 我有几点 我有几点

Give a man a pressed shirt, he'll have clean clothes for a day.

给男人一件平整的衬衫 他能保持衣着干净一整天

Teach a man to press a shirt, we'll hire him.

教会男人去熨衬衫 我们就雇佣他

Give a man a clean shirt, and he'll press it for a day.

给男人一件干净的衬衫 他能熨上一整天

Teach a man to press a shirt and we'll hire him.

教会男人去熨衬衫 我们就雇佣他

Oh, laugh really hard. Laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh.

哦 大声笑 笑 笑 笑 笑

That's a good one. That's a good one.

很好 很好

That's a good one. That's a good one.

非常好 非常好

Oh, that's a good one. All right.

哦 很好 好

You can see why I'm so successful.

这下你明白我为啥这么成功了吧

You can see why I'm so successful. Yes.

这下你明白我为啥这么成功了吧 嗯

How about this? How about this one?

这个怎么样 这个怎么样

Listen, I got another one. Here's another one.

听着 我还有一个 我还有一个

OK, I got another one. Yes?

好 我还有一个 嗯？

When life hands you lemons, say hey, cool, free lemons.

如果生活赐予了你柠檬 要说 嘿 酷哎 免费的柠檬

One lemon says to another lemon, one lemon said to the other lemon.

一个柠檬跟另一个柠檬说 一个柠檬跟另一个柠檬说

One lemon said to the other lemon.

一个柠檬跟另一个柠檬说

What do you-- That's it? That one's a thinker, never mind.

你在 没了？那个比较有哲理 算了吧

That's a thinker. Here's one. Here's one.

有哲理 还有一个 还有一个

Fool me once, shame on you.

骗我一次 你真可耻

Fool me twice, you fool me once, you're not going to fool me again.

骗我两次 骗我一次 你不可能还骗得了我

Fool me once, shame on you.

骗我一次 你真可耻

Fool me twice, shame on you for fooling me and shame on you.

骗我两次 骗我你真可耻 可耻

Shame on you. I like that one.

你真可耻 我喜欢这个

OK, start to nod out. Start to nod off a little bit.

好 开始打盹儿 开始打盹儿

Nod off a little bit. That's a nud up a little bit.

打盹儿啊 那都是胡言乱语

That's a nud up. Yeah. That's a nud up.

胡言乱语 胡言乱语

You got to nud up. Hey. Start to fall asleep.

你得胡言乱语 嘿 开始睡觉

Fall down. Fall down. Go down on the ground, on the ground.

往下蹲 往下蹲 睡到地上 到地上

Wake up. Are you okay?

醒过来 你没事吧？

Wake up and yell Emilio Estevez. Just yell Emilio Estevez.

醒过来大喊Emilio Estevez 大喊Emilio Estevez

Why don't you sit down. Emilio Estevez.

你要不要坐下来 Emilio Estevez

Thank you for your hospitality.

非常感谢你的接待

Thank you. Are you okay? This is a great place. Thank you.

谢谢 你没事吧？这儿不错 谢谢

Do you know who likes this place? Do you know who likes this place?

你知道谁喜欢这里吗？你知道谁喜欢这里吗？

What's that? Do you know who likes this place?

什么？你知道谁喜欢这里吗？

Do you know who Alexa plays?

你知道Alexa演的是谁吗？

Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres. She plays Ellen DeGeneres.

艾伦·德杰尼勒斯 艾伦·德杰尼勒斯 她演的是艾伦·德杰尼勒斯

And she's been telling me what to say this whole time.

刚才一直都是她让我说的话

She's been telling me what to say the whole time.

她一直在指挥我说什么

There's cameras everywhere. There's cameras everywhere.

这里到处都是相机 这里到处都是相机

Are you serious? Yeah. No way. I'm sorry I scared you.

不是吧？对 不可能 很抱歉吓到你了

Oh my God. It's Ellen's fault. It's Ellen's fault.

我的天哪 都是艾伦的错 是艾伦的错

Say shame. Oh, thanks, Melissa.

可恶 哦 谢谢你 Melissa