I was thinking that we live in a world that's constantly changing.

我在想我们生存的世界一直在变

And that's good. Like your credit cards.

这很好 比如说你的信用卡

You know, one day you have to swipe, and the next day, you have to stick it in.

前一天 你只需要刷一下 后一天 你就得把它插进去

And I hear that they're working on a new technology

我听说人们在研发一种新技术

where you're going to have to put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it.

需要你放下手头的东西 把它扔起来 然后翻转过来

But there's something else that's changed recently that made a lot of news.

但最近又有些其他变化上了很多新闻

Plastic straws. They used to be fine. And now, the devil's workshop.

塑料吸管 以前人们觉得它很方便 现在它变成了恶魔的产物

That's what they are. A lot of places have stopped using plastic straws since they're bad for the environment.

就是这样 很多地方已经停止提供塑料吸管了 因为它对环境不利

And plastic straws, well because of plastic straws, lakes are being filled with sludge,

塑料吸管 因为塑料吸管 湖泊里充满了污泥

pollution is filling the air, and endangered species are being hunted down.

空气污染严重 濒危物种也被猎杀

I'm sorry, that's because of the current administration. Sorry. Plastic straws--

不好意思 那都是因为这届政府管理不善 不好意思 塑料吸管

I can't even get it out of my mouth, I'm so upset.

我都说不出来 好烦啊

It's hard for me to say that sentence.

说出那句话不容易

Plastic straws are a problem.

塑料吸管是个问题

And I think that we should do everything we can to protect our environment and the animals.

我觉得我们应该尽最大努力保护环境和动物

But I'm not sure that we've figured out the best way to replace plastic straws.

但我不确定人们已经想出了替换塑料吸管的最佳办法

Because right now they're replacing them with paper straws.

因为现在 人们用纸质吸管替换塑料吸管

And they say that they're as good as plastic straws.

还说纸质吸管跟塑料的一样好用

But the only time they don't work really is if you put them in any kind of liquid.

不过唯一不能用纸质吸管的情况就是把它们放进液体里

Or if you put your mouth on them.

或者是把它们放进嘴里

That's-- or if you try to put them through a hole in the lid.

真是 或者把它们从盖子上插进去

Otherwise, they work. They work perfectly.

除了这几种情况外 都能用它们 而且很好用

Have you tried using a paper straw, anybody?

有人试过纸质吸管吗？

Everybody? It's a race against time.

有没有人？这简直就是跟时间赛跑啊

Because you have to drink all the liquid you can before the paper closes up.

你得在纸软掉之前尽可能多喝点饮料

And then you have to take the top off and drink it with your mouth like some kind of animal, like, you know.

然后把盖子取下来 像某种动物一样直接用嘴喝

I saw this one place is replacing plastic straws with pasta tubes.

我看见过一个地方用意大利面筒代替塑料吸管的

And I think it's probably one drunk guy at the Olive Garden.

应该是橄榄花园里一个喝醉了的人

But still good for-- that's using your noodle.

不过还是 这就叫做发挥你面条（傻子）的优势

Thank you. Thank you. Sorry. I know.

谢谢 谢谢大家 不好意思 我知道

I couldn't let it go. I'm only so strong.

我控制不住自己 欲望太强了

When a pun is right there, I've got to go for it.

只要有双关语 我就一定要抓住机会用一下