(单词翻译:单击)
Well, you guys, the holiday season is here. And I saw that tomorrow is the White House Christmas tree lighting...
朋友们,节假日又要来了,明天白宫将点亮圣诞树,
though when Trump first sees a bunch of blinking lights outside, he'll shout, Oh, my God, it's the FBI.
当小特第一次看到精光闪闪的彩灯时,他大叫道老天,联邦调查局来了 。
Just...Tell them we're not home. But the White House just put up their official Christmas decorations, and the theme this year
告诉他们我不在家,但白宫只装扮了官方圣诞装饰,今年的主题是
is American Treasures. Which sounds less like a theme, more like a line of creepy dolls sold on QVC.
美国珍宝,听起来不像是主题名,更像是一排在QVC售卖的古怪玩具 。
It's like Y'all, look at these American Treasures, y'all. There's only 300,000 left, and they're just so cute.
来看看美国珍宝,来看看,只剩30万个了,它们很可爱 。
This one here looks like he got into Daddy's paints. He's in trouble.
这个玩具好似掉进了爸爸的裤子了,他遇到麻烦了 。
I heard that Melania is in charge of all the decorations this year.
听说梅拉尼娅负责今年的所有装饰 。
Most of them look nice, but some people are referring to the Christmas trees as blood trees because of their color.
多数装饰很不错,但有些人把圣诞树看成是血树,因为它的颜色像血 。
Check these out. Yeah. A lot of people said it looks like Christmas in hell.
来看看,很多人说这是地狱版的圣诞 。
Then Melania said Exactly. Subtle. A little on the nose. A little on the nose there.
梅拉尼娅说没错,一点点在鼻子上,鼻子上有一点点 。
This one got into, like, a little pie fight. He was in a pie-eating contest. This little one.
这个好像是经历了一场扔派游戏,他参加了吃派游戏,这个小的 。
His face is all messy. His face is all messy with plum juice on it. And this...there's only 150,000 left of these.
它的脸都花了,它的脸上都是西梅汁,现在只剩15万个了 。
Last night in Mississippi, Trump held a rally where they had a bunch of Christmas decorations.
昨晚在密西西比,小特举行了集会,他们还摆设了圣诞装饰 。
He even entered the arena from a giant fake fireplace. Take a look at this.
他是从巨大的壁炉进入场地的,来看看 。
President Donald Trump! There he is. Yeah, there he is, right there. He comes out from the fireplace. Yeah. There he is.
总统特朗普,他来了,他来了,他是从壁炉里出来的,没错 。
Well, it turns out that Trump went down five other chimneys before he found the right one.
其实小特走了五个烟囱才找对了方向 。
That's it. That one was real. He was like I did it.
这个是对的,我做到了 。
Later in the speech, Trump talked about how Elvis was born in Mississippi and compared himself to him. Watch this.
随后在演讲中,小特谈论了出生在密西西比的埃尔维斯,并将他与自己相比较,来看看 。
Other than the blond hair, when I was growing up, they said I looked like Elvis. Do you see that? Can you believe it?
除了金色的头发,我小时他们都说我很像埃尔维斯,你们觉得呢?能相信吗?
Trump said, I looked exactly like Elvis other than the blond hair, the body, the voice, the face. Everything else.
小特说我除了金色头发以外一切都很像埃尔维斯,身材,声音,脸庞,一切都很像 。
A doppelganger for Elvis. This is big. There are reports that Trump's former campaign chairman Paul Manafort
埃尔维斯的幽灵,这个块很大,有报道称小特的前竞选主席保罗·马纳福特
secretly met with the founder of WikiLeaks right before Hillary's hacked e-mails were released.
秘密会见了维基解密创始人,而且就在希拉里邮件门事件被爆之前 。
Now, I know that sounds suspicious, but that's because it's very suspicious.
我知道这听起来很可疑,因为它就是非常可疑 。
Get this. The CDC says it's now safe to eat Romaine lettuce, as long as it's not from Central California.
听听这个,疾控中心说吃长叶莴苣不安全,除非它来自加州中部 。
When people asked how to tell if the lettuce is from that area, officials said, Eat it and see what happens. So it's.....
当被问及怎么才知道它来自加州中部时,官方称尝一尝看看会怎样 。
Check this out. A new study found that it takes about 1.7 days for a LEGO to pass through the human body.
听听这个,新研究发现乐高需要大约1.7天从人类身体中出来 。
The guy who ate it says it was painful, while LEGO Batman said, Hey, it's no picnic for me, either, buddy.
那名吃下乐高的人说太痛苦了,但乐高蝙蝠侠说这对我也不易啊 。
Didn't do me any favors. And finally, down in Washington, the new members of Congress have started meeting their fellow lawmakers.
这对我一点帮助都没有,最后在华盛顿,新一届国会成员开始集结 。
Of course, it can be hard to meet new people, which is why a lot of them come prepared with their own statements to break the ice.
当然,会见新朋友不简单,所以许多人事先准备好了一些话从而消除尴尬 。
Let's take a look at some Congressional ice-breakers. First up, we have Alaska Congressman Don Young.
来看看国会成员们是怎么说的,第一个是阿拉斯加国会议员唐·杨 。
His ice-breaker is, I've been in six Lifetime movies as the guy who was Santa all along.
他事先准备的话是,我参加了六部Lifetime电影制作公司的电影,里面的圣诞老人一直都是我 。
Come on. Oh, yeah, I know that movie. Yeah. Yeah, he was Santa. Where is he?!
我知道这部电影,他就是圣诞老人,他在哪?
Next, here's North Carolina Congressman David Price. His ice-breaker is, I have 60,000 unread e-mails
下一个是北卡州国会议员大威·普莱斯,他准备的是我有6万个未读电邮,
because I do not know how to use the e-mail. Next, here's South Dakota Congressman Dusty Johnson.
因为我不知道如何使用电邮,下一个是南达科他州国会议员达斯蒂·约翰逊 。
His ice-breaker is, I only got elected with the name Dusty Johnson because my opponent's name was Harry Dangler.
他准备的是,我是因为我的名字而获胜的,因为我的对手叫哈利·丹格勒 。
Wow. Hello. Nice to meet you. These are ice-breakers. Yeah.
你好,很高兴见到你,这些就是破冰语,没错 。
This is what they say to people when they first meet them. That's exactly right. Here's New York Congressman Eliot Engel.
这就是他们初次见面会说的,没错,下一个是纽约国会议员爱丽雅特· 安格尔 。
His ice-breaker is If you like my giant mustache, then it did its job of distracting you from my tiny eyebrows.
他准备的是如果你喜欢我的胡子,那它完成了将注意力从眉毛上转走的工作 。
Next up is Utah Congressman John Curtis. His ice-breaker is, Nice to meet you. My precious!
下一个是犹他州国会议员约翰·柯蒂斯,他准备的是很高兴见到你,我的宝贝 。
Here's Maryland Congressman Jamie Raskin. His ice-breaker is, I can't wait to represent everyone from where I grew up,
这个是马里兰州国会议员杰米·拉斯金,他准备的是我等不及要和大家说一说我出生的地方,
the space behind an old couch. Up next is Texas Congressman Kevin Brady.
旧沙发后面,下一个是德州国会议员凯文·布拉迪 。
His ice-breaker is This is actually the back of my head. What? What?
他准备的是这其实是我的后脑勺,啥?啥?
I don't know, man. And finally, here's Missouri Congressman Sam Graves.
我不知道,最后一个是密苏里州国会议员山姆·格雷夫斯 。
His ice-breaker is, The reason no one in Congress reaches across the aisles is because when they do,
他准备的是,在国会没人跨越党派界限的原因是,当他们这么做时,
I bite their fingers. Well, they'll have something to talk about. Guys, we have a great show. Give it up for The Roots.
我会咬断他们的手指,他们一定有话要说,这就是今晚的节目,掌声送给紫金乐队 。
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