Ladies and gentlemen, I know why you're excited!
女士们先生们 我知道你们都很激动
Ladies and gentlemen, it's because today is international Women's Day.
因为今天是国际妇女节
Yeah. That's right.
没错
It's a day when we celebrate all the international women Donald Trump has married.
今天 我们要为世界上所有嫁给唐纳德·特朗普的女性庆祝
Just kidding.
开玩笑的
It's a day where we celebrate women and the immense role they play in our communities and in our lives.
今天 我们要为世界上所有女性和他们所扮演的角色庆祝
And since it is international Women's Day,
既然今天是国际妇女节
I would like to congratulate my favorite international woman, Carmen San Diego.
我想恭喜我最喜欢的女性 卡门·圣地亚哥
I wonder where she is.
不知道她现在在哪里
But this was interesting.
有个很有意思的事
To celebrate international Women's day,
为了庆祝国际妇女节
air India flew the longest all-women-operated flight from Delhi to San Francisco.
印度航空一驾机组成员全部为女性的航班完成了一次最长的航行 从德里飞往旧金山

See, this is why we need an international Women's Day.
看吧 这就是我们需要国际妇女节的原因了
So that, one day, people can talk about an all-woman flight crew without constantly having to say, yes, even the pilot.
这样一来 人们就有那么一天可以说起这样一架机组成员全为女性的航班 而不用时刻提醒 甚至机长都是女性
I mean I understand the gesture, but it does seem a little strange when you think about it.
我能明白他们的出发点 但是想想还是觉得有点奇怪
Because it sounds you are going Happy International Women's Day.
感觉像是 妇女节快乐
In honor of you, we're giving men the day off.
为了表示我们的敬意 今天让所有男性都放假
The flight went off without a hitch, and I'm so glad.
这趟航班全程顺利 没出意外 我很开心
Because if that plane had crashed, it would have set women back years.
因为如果坠机了 会让所有女性挫败好几年
Not everyone is taking the spirit of International Women's Day to heart.
当然并不是所有人都对国际妇女节那么看重
Kim Kardashian and Bette Midler got into a fight on Twitter, did you see this?
金·卡戴珊和贝特·米德勒在推特上撕起来了 你们看了吗
After Kim posted a nude selfie, right.
金先在推特上发了一张裸体自拍的照片
And Bette Midler tweeted: If Kim wants us to see a part of her we've never seen,
贝特·米德勒评价说 如果金想让我们看她身上哪个我们没看过的部位的话
she's gonna have to swallow the camera.
那她要把相机吞下去才行
And then Kim responded with: Hey @BetteMidler I know it's past your bedtime,
然后金回道 嗨贝特·米德勒 我知道这个时间你应该睡了
but if you're still up and reading this send nudes #justkidding
但如果你还醒着 看到我的消息 起来发裸照啊 还带了话题 开玩笑的
And you know it's going to get even uglier after Bette Midler's sex tape with Ray J. Leaks.
继贝特·米德勒和雷的性爱录像后 他们的话题越来越大尺度了
I've seen it, there's more than wind beneath those wings.
我看了 翅膀下很多风
Let me tell you right now.
我想说
Personally, I think it's great to give women their own day.
我个人觉得 女性有一个自己的节日是很好的
But it is America, so they have to share it with pancakes, right.
但这里是美国 女性也只好和煎饼分享了
Because it's true. Today is also national pancake day.
因为今天同时也是国际煎饼节
Pancakes and women.
煎饼和女性一起过节
Needless to say, this is a huge day for Mrs. Butterworth.
不用说 今天对巴特沃斯夫人来说一定很重要
Actually, this is a good opportunity to celebrate some of our groundbreaking political candidates,
今天也是个给我们的政治家们庆祝的日子
like Hillary Clinton, who is a woman; or Marco Rubio, who's a little short stack.
比如希拉里·克林顿 她就是位女性 还有 马尔科·卢比奥 是块小煎饼
Ultimately, International Women's Day means nothing to me because I celebrate women every day.
最后 国际妇女节对我来说完全没有意义 因为我每天都在为女性喝彩
I do. I do. I celebrate women every day.
真的 我每天都在庆祝妇女节
And as for national pancakes day, again, this day means nothing to me.
还有国际煎饼节 也是一样的 对我来说没有意义
In conclusion, America, I think this is offensive.
结论就是 全体美国人 我觉得这件事有点容易引起众怒
Let's come together and celebrate women 365 days a year.
让我们一起 一年365天都为女性喝彩
And while we're at it, let's celebrate pancakes 365 days a year as well.
同时 让我们一年365天都为煎饼喝彩
Today when you walk up to a woman—your mom, your sister, someone in your community
今天 当你走向你身边的女性——不管是你的母亲 姐妹 或是小区里遇到的任何一个人
and say to them, what you do is amazing.
告诉他们 你真的很棒
I'd like to buy you some pancakes.
我想买些煎饼送给你
Because this is the United States of America,
因为这里是美利坚
where women and pancakes should always, always be celebrated.
在这里 我们应该永远为女性和煎饼喝彩
I stand before you now and I say god bless women,
此刻我站在你们面前 我想说 上帝保佑女性
god bless pancakes and god bless America!
上帝保佑煎饼 上帝保佑美利坚