(单词翻译:单击)
Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite worst-advice-ever stories from you guys. This first one is from @RoeyCustard.
现在到了分享故事时间了，来听听史上最糟糕的建议，第一个来自@罗尼蛋羹。
Mmm! She says I dropped my brand-new phone in water. My dad said to just put it in the microwave for a few seconds.
嗯嗯，她说我的新手机掉水里了，爸爸说放微波炉几秒钟。
I had to buy a new phone, he had to buy a new microwave. That's not good.
我不得不买个新手机，他不得不买个新微波炉。
This one is from @MrPibb4life. He says I once drank a beer bong full of Jagermeister while sitting in a hot tub
这个来自@MrPibb4生活，他说有一次我一边泡澡一边喝野格，
cause my buddy said you can't get drunk at sea level. Well, that's... That's not...That's....
我好友说我没法在海平面喝醉，这个嗯嗯嗯...
What? That is not... That's bad advice. That's false. That's not true. You know it's not true. Yeah, the Navy should know that. It's true.
什么？这主意太坏了，这是错误的，不对的，海军应该知道怎么回事，这是真的。
This one's from @kinkyturtle. She says the guy at the hardware store told my friend that
这个来自@卷毛乌龟，她说硬件商店雇员对我的朋友说，
turpentine would remove paint from her hair. It did. It also removed her hair.
松节油会把头发上的油漆去掉，结果去掉了，但我的头发也去掉了。
Well... What are you cryin' about? The paint's gone. Technically, it worked.
你在为什么哭泣？油漆没了，从理论上来讲，它还是管用的。
This one's from @d_nnykingsl_y. Ooh! Rather. Rather. Where's he from? Good day to you, sir.
这个来自@d_nnykingsl_y，哦，他来自哪？祝你今天好心情先生。
Danny Kingsley. Danny Kingsley. I don't know if that's how he talks. But Danny Kingsley.
丹尼·金斯利，丹尼·金斯利，不知道他是不是这么读，还是丹尼·金斯利。
He says my dad told me to always fry bacon shirtless so you never get grease stains.
我爸爸告诉我说在烤培根时，要什么都不放，这样才不会留下油渍。
Third-degree burns all over his stomach. Are those freckles? No, they're not freckles. They're scars.
30度就能把他的胃烧了，会有雀斑吗？不是雀斑，是伤疤。
They're grease scars. That's bad. Turpentine will get those out, man.
油渍伤疤，不妙，松节油可以去掉。
Thanks for the advice. You know my doctor, Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Dr. Pepper. Yeah.
谢谢你的注意，你知道我的医生培波医生，培波医生。
This one's from @canadianlinz. She said I was going for a job interview,
这个来自@加拿大linz，她说我要去面试，
and my brother told me to maintain constant eye contact with the interviewer and never blink.
我的哥哥说要与面试官有眼神交流，要紧盯着她不眨眼。
Tell me about Casual Friday. I'm really excited to work here. I'm a people person.
来跟我说说休闲星期五，我对来这里工作非常兴奋，我的人缘很好。
This one's from @To neo71. He says when my wife said don't get me anything for my birthday,
这个来自@To neo71，他说我的妻子说，生日不用送我礼物，
my friend told me not to get her anything to prove that I'm a good listener.
我的朋友告诉我说别给她买礼物，这样才能证明你其实没有听到。
No. That's bad advice. That is bad advice, dude. Oh, my goodness. No.
这个主意可不好，不太好，老天。
This one's from ScrangelaSaurus. She says my friend once told me you should smoke weed before a job interview,
这个来自ScrangelaSaurus，她说我的朋友告诉我说，要在面试之前吸食大麻，
so if you show up to work stoned they won't know the difference.
这样如果你工作时飘飘欲仙了，他们分不清楚。
Where do I see myself in five years? Taco Bell.
五年以后我会什么样？塔可贝尔。
This last one's from @liz nawrocki. She says my daughter told me to go see a real doctor.
最后一个来自@liz nawrocki，她说我女儿让我去看一名真正的医生。
Oh, wow. That's bad advice. There you have it. Those are Tonight Show Hashtags.
这个主意太坏了，这些就是今天的今夜秀标签节目。
To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.
了解更多内容，请登录tonightshow.com/hashtags。
