As you probably know, or you may not know, but if you don't, now you do.

大家可能知道 也可能不知道 不过如果你不知道的话 那现在也知道了

I have a birthday this week.

我这周要过生日

Thank you. Yeah it's a big one. I have decided I'm going to turn 60. Yeah.

谢谢大家 这是个很重要的生日 我决定变到60岁 没错

Because a lot of people in Hollywood put that off.

好莱坞有很多明星都把这件事推迟了

They don't do it but I'm going to do it. I am.

他们不做 不过我要做 是的

And I'm feeling great and I think it's because I try to eat healthy and I exercise every day.

我感觉超好 应该是因为我饮食健康 每天锻炼

And I try to keep stress out of my life, especially little things.

还努力让压力远离我 尤其是一些小东西

Like what are they called, kids.

比如那叫什么来着 孩子

So I just had my physical and normally those results would be private

我刚刚做了体检 一般这些数据是保密的

but since the president released his last week, I thought it's only fair that I do the same thing.

不过上周总统都公布了自己的体检数据 那我也得这样做才公平

So please welcome my doctor from General Hospital, Dr. Griffin Munro.

有请综合医院我的医生格里芬·芒罗医生

All right, thanks for being here doctor.

好 谢谢你能来 医生

Why don't you tell everybody what your qualifications are? Oh, sure.

跟大家说一下你的资质吧 好

Well, wardrobe gave me this lovely lab coat.

化妆师给了我这件可爱的实验服

Props department gave me this handy heart listener.

道具组给了我这个便携式心脏监听器

Heart listener? It's a stethoscope. No. Pretty sure it's a heart listener.

心脏监听器？明明是个听诊器 不对 是心脏监听器

All right, well why don't you just go ahead and read the results, tell everybody what you found.

好吧 你来给大家念念这些结果吧 告诉大家

OK sure. You know I'd like to start by saying you are in incredible shape.

好 我想先说说你身材真是棒极了

You are as healthy as someone half your age. I had no idea you were turning 90.

你跟你一半年龄的人一样健康 真是不敢想象你都90岁了

No I'm turning 60. Huh? My chart was upside down. There we go.

不对 我马上60岁 哈？表格拿反了 这才对

I also found that you have fantastic reflexes and your comedic reflexes are off the charts.

我还发现你反应特别快 而且你的喜剧反应真是破纪录了

Here, I'll give you an example. OK. Why did the mermaid wear seashells?

我来举个例子 好 为什么美人鱼要戴贝壳？

She outgrew her B shells.

因为她太大了戴不了B壳

Very good. Thank you, thank you. Now we checked your BMI, which is good.

很好 谢谢 谢谢 我们给你查了BMI（身体质量指数） 结果很好

And you're still AAA, which is still covered.

还是AAA的状态 很好啊

And we did find you're still down with OPP. Well you know me.

我们还发现你的OPP很低 嗯 你懂我的

You know, for the next part of this test, I'm going to need me to remove my shirt.

在接下来的检查中 我需要脱掉衬衣

Really? Are you sure that's right? Ellen, please. I'm a doctor.

真的吗？你确定？艾伦 拜托 我可是医生

Now for the eye exam, I'd like you to tell me how many abs do I have?

为了检查你的眼睛 你得告诉我我有多少块腹肌？

One, two, three What the hell is this?

一 二 三 你们在干什么？

Is this the woman that you've been seeing behind my back?

这就是你背着我悄悄密会的女人吗？

Yes and we are in love. Why, what? That's my job. Yes, but it's my show.

没错 我们两情相悦 为什么 什么？那个让我来 没错 不过这是我的节目

Wonderful, wonderful. Happy birthday. Thank you.

很好 很好 生日快乐 谢谢

That was Matt and Finola from General Hospital everybody.

各位 那是综合医院的马特和菲诺拉