I love kids, they're sweet, precious, little bundles of germs.
我喜欢小孩子们 他们太漂亮 太可爱了 那么小小的一个生物
And you have been sending me pictures of your kids for our segment, Why I Don't Have Kids.
你们一直都有给我寄照片 小孩子的照片 我们这个环节叫做：“为什么我没有这种孩子”
This comes from Jenny Byland from Elk Ridge, Utah.
这张照片由Jenny Byland提供 她来自犹他州的Elk Ridge这个地方
'My daughter got a hold of her grandma's lipstick.' Mm.
我的女儿偷拿了她祖母的口红 嗯...
She learn that from watching grandma probably. Darryl Packard from Las Vegas, Nevada.
她大概 试着画出 她外婆模样 这张图片来自达瑞尔·帕卡德 来自内华达的拉斯维加斯
'I told my nephew to put pajamas on and go to bed and this is what he did?'
我让侄子穿上睡衣去睡觉 你看看他做了什么

They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless somebody sends a picture to me and
有人说 在拉斯维加斯的秘密 会永远留在那里 直到有人给我寄了这张照片
then it's not gonna stay in Vegas anymore.
看来这个秘密是要公布于众了
This one's a news headline, it says, 'Kid Racks Up $5,900 bill on Dad's iPad Playing Jurassic World.'
这是个新闻头条 它上面写道 这熊孩子 用他爹的ipad玩侏罗纪世界 已经用掉了5900美元
Apparently the kid memorized the dad's password so he could go on and buy a bunch of things on the iPad.
显然 这娃能记着他爹的密码 所以他才能 随心所欲的买各种东西
Kids that is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
这孩子 错 错 错 大错特错了
But you should check out all the cool kids stuff I have on ellenshop.com.
你应该关注一下ellenshop.com上的儿童玩具
Rachel Mercer from Painesville, Ohio, 'Little Ronnie III said he wanted to go swimming and I walked in on this.'
瑞秋·梅塞 来自俄亥俄州的佩恩斯维尔 小罗尼三世 说他想去游泳 然后我走进去就看到了这个
I bet little Ronnie and little Ronnie II did that before him too.
我猜 小罗尼一世 和小罗尼二世 也都做过这个动作
Thanks for sending those in, and keep them coming, if I showed you picture today.
感谢你们送来的照片 请继续发送哦 如果你的照片 有幸被我公布
I'm gonna send you a $100 Toys or Us gift card.
我那就会给你送去价值100美元的玩具 或者是 我们的礼品卡