I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, maybe I have, maybe, but
不知道我之前有没用提到过 也许有 也许没有 但是
I have a puppy. Maybe I’ve mentioned it a million times.
我有一只小狗 也许我已经提过无数次
He’s name is Kid and this is a picture that we keep showing you.
它叫做吉德 这是一张给你们看过很多次的照片
This is when we first brought him home.
这是我们刚带它回家的时候
I know, that’s, he’s That's ridiculous.
我知道 这是 它 这太可笑了
So that was in January, so here he is now.
所以这张照片是一月份拍的 这是它现在的样子
He's gotten bigger. You can't tell how big he is but that's Auggie next to him.
它长大了 你没法看出它有多大 但是 它旁边的是奥吉

He used to be Auggie's same size. Here's another picture of him. And
它曾经和奥吉一样大 这是它另一张照片 然后
Auggie's like, he's growing too fast. Anyway, you get the idea.
奥吉仿佛在说 “它长得太快了” 不管怎样 你们知道它有多大了
He's perfect is what he is. Or what he was.
它现在的样子真的是完美 或者说它以前也一直那么完美
Until we ruined him and I'm gonna say we because I am not taking full responsibility for this at all.
直到我们毁了它 我说的是我们这个词 因为我不是唯一负责人
Portia ruined him as well.
波西娅也要负一部分责任
So you know when you have a puppy, if you don't know, you should crate train him.
所以你们懂么 当你有一个宠物 而你不知道怎么养 你应该训练它在笼子里过夜
It's very important to crate train puppies because they have little tiny bladders and
这对宠物来说非常重要 因为它们的膀胱太小了
they can't make it through the night.
晚上没法不起夜
They get up to go to the bathroom every few hours,
它们必须隔几个小时就去趟厕所
like pregnant women or women over 50.
就像怀孕或更年期的妇女
So we crate trained Kid, and he was perfect.
所以我们训练吉德 然后它做的很好
He made it through the night from a tiny little puppy, from the very beginning, and we go to bed at 9:30.
成功的从一只小狗长到现在 而且我们九点半上床睡觉
So make it from 9:30 to 6:30 in the morning, long time.
所以从晚上九点半到第二天早上六点半 那么长时间
And he'd watch us get in bed with Wolf and Augie, Wolf's our other dog.
它看着我们和沃尔夫、奥吉一起上床睡觉 沃尔夫是我们另一只狗
And we thought that's just so mean because he's such a good puppy.
然后我们觉得这样太刻薄了 因为它是一只那么好的狗狗
He's seven months old. It's time to put him in the bed.
它七个月大了 是时候让它睡床了
So a few weeks ago we put him in the bed with us, and that was a good idea right? No.
所以几个礼拜前我们带它上床睡觉了 然而这是个好主意 不是么 当然不
It was not a good idea. It was not a good idea at all.
这不是一个好主意 这绝对不是个好主意
Because he's only had that little area, so he didn't have choices of where to be.
因为它以前只有那一小块地方睡觉 所以它没有其他选择
And then he was in the bed and he couldn't figure out where he was supposed to be.
然后当它到了床上 它不知道该在哪里睡觉了
So he would be down under the covers and that was too hot for him.
它就会一会钻到被子里 但那里又太热了
Then he'd get out, and then he'd start panting and
然后它就钻出来 接着开始喘粗气然后
he was uncomfortable like pregnant women or women over 50.
完全就像一个怀孕或者是更年期的妇女一样不舒服
And all night long he was under the covers, on top of the covers, one leg in, one leg out.
所以一整晚它就像钻进被子 钻出被子 一条腿伸进去 一条腿伸出去
This is true, at 4 A.M., he did the stanky leg.
说真的 早上4点 它竟然开始跳摇摆腿的舞步
That was when, at one point, he finally fell asleep in a weird position, so I was not gonna disturb him.
有时候 它终于用一种奇怪的姿势睡过去了 我不想打扰它
I froze in a horrible position, like, and I thought this is ridiculous.
我只能以一种可怕的姿势僵硬着不动 就像这样 然后我觉得这样很可笑
I'm the one who has a job. So
我才是赚钱养家的那个人 所以
Anyway, we realized it's way too soon.
不管怎样 我们意识到让它睡床还太早了
So the next night we put him back in the crate.
所以第二天我们晚上把它放回了笼子
And now he cries all night long. He wants to get back, I know.
然后它哭了一晚上 它想要回到床上 我知道
And you hear these tiny little
你能听见那种细细的轻轻的
It's not an annoying, obnoxious, it's a tiny little "But I was in there."
这声音并不让我们觉得烦躁或讨厌 就是那种轻轻的 “但我还在这里”
I may as well have a baby, that's what I'm thinking.
我可能同时还有了一个婴儿 这是我心里的想法
But I would ruin that too, cuz I don't know how long to crate
但是我可能也会毁了那孩子 因为我不知道训练婴儿睡箱子要花多久
babies, I don't know- How long you keep them in the crate.
我不知道 你要让他们在箱子里待多久
Anyway, I sympathize with all the mothers out there,
不管怎样 我同情所有的当妈的人
because I think puppies are like babies.
因为我觉得小狗就像婴儿
You have to pick a name for them that fits their personality, but
你要根据他们的性格取个名字
something that you don't mind screaming out at the park.
当然这名字你不介意在公园大叫出来
And I'm not getting any sleep. One more picture.
然后我晚上几乎没睡 再看一次它的照片
You can't be mad at this face, because he's adorable.
你没法对它生气 因为它是那么的可爱
I know, I'm sleepy but I'm still gonna dance.
我知道 我好困 但是我还是会跳舞