i saw you at the--
我之前在 呃
at guy's party after the oscars,
奥斯卡之后的一个派对上看到你了
and we spoke for a little while.
我们聊了一会
and i was congratulating you,
我恭喜了你
because i am so proud of you for coming out,
因为我特别为你的出柜而荣
and i'm happy for you.
我很替你高兴
i know what a scary thing that is.
我知道那是一件多恐怖的事
your speech was incredible.
你的演讲真是太精彩了
i just thought it was
我只想说那真是
the most brilliantly written speech. thanks.
最棒的书信演讲 谢啦
i want to show--
我想要表达
i want to show a little tiny bit of it right now.
现在我想稍微展示一下
here i am, an actress representing, at least in some sense, an industry
我 一名女演员 至少在某种意义上
that places crushing standards on all of us,
压在我们所有人身上裂片标准

standards that, i hate to admit, have affected me.
我厌恶去接受的标准却影响着我
and i am here today because i am gay and because--
今天我在这 因为我是个同性恋 以及因为
i know how scary that is.
我知道那多可怕
you still get emotional? yeah. yeah.
你依然情绪激动吗？没错 没错
i can see that you're emotional just watching that.
看那个视频我知道你情绪很激动
i was like that for a couple of years
我就像那样 和别人在一起很多年
after i came out.
然后我就出柜了
it's a scary thing to verbalize, to say it out loud.
大声表述这事真的很可怕
how nervous were you?
那时候你有多不安
uh, the most nervous i've ever been in my life, for sure.
这是我这辈子做过最不安的事了 真的
i think my biggest fear of doing it
做这件事我真的做了最大的努力
was even just having a panic attack, quite frankly. uhhuh.
坦白说就算受到猛烈的攻击 嗯哼
but, you know, i was just so ready to do it
但是 你知道 我很确定我得这样做
and, quite frankly, so excited to do it,
还有 坦白说 我很兴奋去做这件事
so it was a combination of just such thrill
那么它是一个结点从恐惧
to finally be at that place in my life
到最终成为我人生中
where i was able to do that
能做的一件事
and grateful to have that moment
我很庆幸我拥有这个时刻
and grateful to you, because you did it
还有恭喜你因为你做到了
in a time when it was much harder and much scarier.
有段时间真的很艰难很害怕
so it's-- it's, um--
那么 那是 那 嗯
it doesn't feel like it at the time,
和其他事感觉不一样
but it's a very selfish thing to do.
但要做这件事真的很自私
it really is just the most--
真的只是最
i mean, i can speak forever on it,
我的意思是 我能永远说这个
but how do you feel since you've done it?
那你做了这事之后你是什么感觉
you know, i knew i would be a happier person.
你知道 我知道我会成为一个更开心的人
i knew that i was gonna feel better.
我知道我感觉好多了
and i did not anticipate just how happy i would feel.
我没有期待过我能多开心
and just every aspect of my life,
只是我生活的每个方面
just an ease and a comfort.
算是治愈和安慰
and it'sit's really been quite extraordinary to feel just the shift.
以及这 感受这转变真的 不同寻常
it was pretty much overnight too.
真的就是一下释然
yeah, it is, because you're releasing shame.
没错 那是 因为你意识到害羞
i mean, and anyoneit doesn't matter what it is,
我的意思是 任何人 不管是什么事
what you're carrying around that's your secret.
伴随着你 那是你的秘密
everyone has something that you're carrying around
每个人都有自己执迷的事
that you're ashamed of.
那是你所不愿启齿的
and to carry shame around is a-- first of all, it causes disease.
把羞愧随身带着是 首先 它让人病态
it'syou just can'tit's a horrible thing, to be ashamed of yourself.
这 你不能 这是件很可怕的事情 对自己感到羞耻
yes, it's toxic, and i think we talked about this a bit,
是的 那很煎熬 我想关于这事我们谈了一些
where, you know, you think you're at a place
那 你知道 你现在处于一个你钟爱的位置
where you're like, "oh, i'm happy to be gay.
噢 我为是同性恋感到开心
"i'm so comfortable being gay. i love being gay."
我很畅然作为同性恋 我爱同性恋
and, honestly, it wasn't until making that choice
还有 老实说 直到我们做出选择
and doing that where i realized, like, no,
做这件事 我意识到 就像
i was carrying a tremendous amount of shame
因没有出柜 我背负着沉重的
and guilt for not being out and felt isolated from the lgbt community.
羞耻感和内疚感 我感觉被lgbt孤立
and now i don't, so... yeah, it'syou know, i think you seem more relaxed,
以及现在我不能 那 没错 那 你知道 我认为你看上去轻松多了
and i think there's something about just not having to worry
还有我认为这没什么好焦躁的
about somebody catching you in a lie.
别人逮住你说谎
i know what that's like when you're on a show
我知道是什么 就像你在一个节目
and you're justyou just feel like you're waiting
你只是 你只感觉你在等着
for someone to go, "you're gay! i know you are!"
别人指出“你是个同性恋” “我知道你是”
yeah, yes, absolutely.
没错 是的 完全没错
it's so nice to just, you know, be at work
那很棒 你知道 很有用
and talk about an ex or, you know,
讨论着 你知道
get to wear what you want and not have a conversation about it
穿着你想要的 还不用去说道它
and to feel like you're being yourself
就像你在做你自己
and then connect with people in the world.
和世界人们的联系
you know, it's so nice to have people come up to me
你知道 那真是太曼妙了 人们走向我
and tell me their story or, you know, say, "hey, i'm closeted.
向我诉说他们的故事 或是 你知道 比如说 “嘿 我未出轨
do you have advice?"
你有什么建议吗”
and, you know, those are really beautiful moments
还有 你知道 这些真的是很美好的时刻
to get to share with people.
和人们分享
yeah, yeah, and to know that you're another face
没错 没错 知道别人期待
that someone has hope for, 'cause there are a lot of teenagers out there--
你的另一面 因为有很多年轻人
you talk about in your speech--
你在演讲里提及
that are getting bullied every single day
每天备受煎熬
or taking their own lives
或是讲诉他们自己的故事
because they're, you knowthey can't handle it.
因为他们 你知道 他们处理不好这个
and so it's a really cool thing.
一件酷酷的事情