Hey, come on in. Hey, girls. How you doing?
请进。姑娘们，你们好吗？
Darius the hilarious is pumped. I'm totally in my zone right now.
笑星达叔打了鸡血了呢。状态超好，准备笑力全开。
And I can't miss in this suit. Well...
配这西装，笑死人不偿命啊。这个嘛...
Darius, that's what we wanted to talk to you about.
达叔，我们就是来跟你谈这事的。
You know we're big fans. Big, big fans.
我们都是你的支持者。铁杆粉丝。
You're amazing, your act's incredible. You are Darius the hilarious.
你人超好，段子超好笑。传说中的笑星达叔。
Max and I love the smart car stuff. It's hilarious, per your name.
我们都爱你的斯玛特段子。笑星之名，绝非虚传。
But, well, it is New York. Not a lot of people are smart, or have cars.
但在纽约这小破村。很多人不聪明，也没车。
Yeah, you know New York. Not exactly the cutting edge.
纽约嘛，你懂得。完全不在时尚的尖端。
So, after Max and I left you, we had a thought.
下午跟你分开之后，我们俩有了个主意
We got you a puppet. And, yes, I was stoned.
我们给你买了个布偶。没错，我是有点喝高了。
But Caroline was laughing just as hard as me.
但卡洛琳看了也笑个不停哦。

You got me a what? A puppet. We got you a puppet.
你们买了什么给我？布偶，买了个布偶给你。
But I don't use a puppet. Until you do.
我从不用布偶的啊。用过一次就知道啦。
Just imagine, at the end of your act or in the beginning... Or all the way through.
想象一下，你说完个段子，或段子开头。甚至是整个段子中。
Ladies and gentlemen, Darius the hilarious and his partner, Justin Beaver!
先生女士们，笑星达叔与他的搭档，贾斯汀·逼勃。
"Damn, girl. And I mean dam. As in, I built one."
"哇靠，女孩，哇靠啊。我盖了一个水坝哦。"
And you don't even have to be funny because Justin Beaver does the work for you. Show him, Max.
你就算不好笑也无所谓，贾斯汀·逼勃就已经够好笑了。你也来一次，麦克斯。
"I'm straight". You gotta laugh!
"我是直男"。你不笑不行啊！
Do I? I mean, honestly? Making fun of Justin Beaver's sexuality? I find that a tad offensive.
是咩？真的该笑吗？取笑他的性向吗？这过火了吧。