Side effects may include.
副作用
Okay. Anyone here thinking of surfing the net in the '90s?
好 在座的有人想过90年代的网上冲浪吗
Yeah? You are thinking surfing the net in the '90s. I can see that you are.
是吗 你们想过 我能看出来
Well, if you are thinking of surfing the net in the '90s,
如果你想90年代的网上冲浪是什么样子的话
you should know there are side effects and those side effects may include
要知道这是有副作用的 包括
having this sound stuck in your head.
脑子里面一直响起这个声音
We chose to play the short one.
我们选的是个短的吗
We were thinking about just playing that and then going to break.
我们本来还想就一直放到休息时间呢
Another side effect to surfing the net in the '90s is waiting for someone to message you on AIM
另一个副作用是 等人回你的AIM消息
where your screen name is xxSweetBabyJames69xx.
你的用户名是 xx甜心宝贝69xx
You think I'm joking.
你觉得我在开玩笑是吧

Writing like this because you think it makes you look cool.
这样打字 因为你觉得这样很酷
Being convinced that you are going to go to jail for downloading music off of Napster.
相信被人说的 从Napster下歌会被抓去坐牢
And the final side effect to surfing the net in the '90s is actually going to jail for downloading music off of Limewire.
最后一个是由于从Limewire上下歌被抓去坐牢了
What about realizing your parents were younger than you when they did everything.
下一个话题是 当你发现你的父母开始做某些事时比你开始地还早
If you are thinking of realizing that your parents were younger than you when they did everything,
如果你有想过某一天你发现你的父母开始做某些事时比你开始地还早
you should know that there are side effects and those side effects may include
你就应该知道这是有副作用的 包括
inability to understand how they had you at 25, when you are spending your 20's searching what your ex has liked on Instagram.
无法理解为什么你20岁的时候还在ins上偷偷看你的前任给什么点了赞 而你的父母25岁就有了你
Freaking out after you realize there was no tinder and no bumble back then, which means they met in person.
发现他们那时候没有tinder 也没有bumble 所以他们是直接见的面被吓一大跳
Worrying when you find out that they bought a house by your age and you just borrowed money from Gary to buy a hoverboard.
发现他们在你现在这个年纪已经买了房 而你买块滑板还要找朋友借钱 你很焦虑
Digging up photos of them in their 20's and realizing there were very few photos back then.
挖空心思的想找他们20岁的照片 却发现那个时候根本没什么照片
Starring at your own phone so packed with selfies, you are motionless until your first tear hits the screen.
凝望着你存满自拍的手机 你一动不动 直到第一滴泪落上屏幕
And the final side effect of realizing your parents were younger than you when they did everything,
最后一个关于某一天你发现你的父母开始做某些事时比你开始地还早的副作用是
is searching what your ex has liked on Instagram.
在ins上看你的前任给什么内容点了赞
Okay. Anyone here thinking of going for number two at work?
好 有没有人想在上班时上大号的
If you are thinking of going number two at work
如果有的话
you should know that there are side effects and those side effects may include
你要知道这个是有副作用的 包括
Feeling pure joy when you discover the rest room is empty.
当你发现厕所空着的时候很开心
Really settling into it.
很放松
Having your dreams shattered as someone enters the stall next to you.
发现有人进了你隔壁的隔间时 觉得很难受
Studying their shoes.
研究隔壁的鞋子
Yeah, that's your boss' shoes.
嗯 是你老板的鞋
Thinking you should just wait it out.
觉得你还是在外面等着比较好
Waiting it out.
去外面等
Realizing they're also waiting it out.
发现别人都在等
Waiting it out more.
还在等
Conceding and finishing up.
推让着解决了问题
Panicking because they are now finishing up, too.
很慌 因为别人也要出来了
And the final side effect of going number two at work is sharing an incredibly awkward smile with your boss at the sink.
最后一个关于上班时间上大号的副作用是 跟你的上司尴尬的笑笑
That was side effects may include.
以上就是今天的副作用栏目