I have some news for you.
今天来谈谈新闻
Today you may or may not have heard this.
不知道你们听说没有
But Ben Carson, the republican presidential candidate
本·卡森 目前选票排名第二的共和党总统候选人
who is currently second in the polls is suspending his campaign.
停止参与竞选活动
Yeah. Yeah. I know. You're probably thinking is it because his views are archaic
嗯 嗯 我明白的 你可能在想 是因为他的观念太过时了吗
and he's made offensive comments about slavery and Hitler?
还是他就奴隶制和希拉里发表了不当言论
No, it is not that. The reason is he is going on a book tour.
都不是 原因是他要去写书
Chapter One. How to lose a presidential campaign.
第一章 怎样在总统竞选中落败
I mean, this is ridiculous.
这就很荒唐啊
You should suspend your campaign because you keep saying crazy things.
你不再参选总统的原因应该是老是说你那些疯狂的观点
Not because you wrote those crazy things down.
而不是因为你要把那些疯狂的东西写下来
But I for one, I'm not buying a copy of his book if his writing is anything like his speaking.
但是如果他写的东西跟他说的东西是一样的话 我个人反正是一本都不会买的
Take a look.
一起来看

If people don't speak up for what they believe,
如果人们不为自己信仰的东西发声
other people will change things without them having a voice.
这些东西就会被别人改变 他们再也不会有发言的机会
Chapter One. I was born in a small town outside Detroit.
第一章 我出生在底特律郊外的一个小镇上
I mean that audio book is going to sound like Ambien took an Ambien.
有声书听起来就像是安眠药吃了安眠药之后念的一样
Do you know what I mean?
你们懂吗
He is not the only person having trouble with his campaign.
他不是唯一一个在竞选中出现问题的人
Have you heard of the Lincoln Chafee scandal?
你们听说过林肯·查菲丑闻吗
Let me rephrase. Have you heard of Lincoln Chafee?
我换个说法 你们听说过林肯·查菲的丑闻吗
Anyone? Anyone? No one.
有人听过吗 有吗 一个都没有
Okay, he's actually running to be the democratic nominee for president.
好吧 他正在争取民主党的总统提名
He's this guy.
就是这个人
I'm very proud in my 30 years of public service, I have had no scandals.
我很骄傲的是 在我30年的公务员任职期间 没有出过任何丑闻
You have never had a scandal once in your political career?
你的政治生涯中从没有过一桩丑闻
Well, you do now. Because the Daily Beast found out that back in the 1990's,
哦 那你现在有了 《野兽日报》发现在20世纪90年代
when he was the mayor of Warwick, Rhode Island, Chafee used taxpayer money to buy four frogs for his aquarium.
查菲在罗得岛的华威镇任市长期间曾用纳税人的钱给自己买了四只青蛙
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know what you're thinking.
嗯 嗯 我知道 我知道你们在想什么
This is the worst thing that's ever happened to a politician named Lincoln, right.
这是发生在一个姓林肯的政客身上最坏的事了
I think the biggest mistake was bragging that you've never had a scandal.
我觉得他犯的最大错误就是 鼓吹自己身上从没发生过丑闻
Like he just jinxed himself! Do you know what I mean?
刚好给自己立了个flag 不是吗
It's like the veteran cop in the movie who mentions that he's only three days away from retirement.
就像是电影里 一个经验丰富的警察说他还有三天就要退休了
You know what I mean?
你们明白我的意思吗
You know he's going to die in the next scene.
他这样一说 下一秒肯定就要死了
I'm finally going to spend time with my wife.
我的余生都要和妻子一起度过
It is going to be great.
想想都觉得很美好
25 years. I've been promising her a honeymoon for 25 years.
25年啊 我25年来一直都跟她说要带她去度蜜月
He was getting shot.
然后就中枪了
I was worried for a second.
我还担心了你一秒
You were worried I actually got shot because the acting was so good. Yes. Yes.
因为我演的太逼真了你以为我真的中枪了吗 对
Thank you, Reggie. That means a lot.
谢谢 雷吉 我很感激
It's disgusting when a politician uses government funds for his own gain.
政客用政府的钱为自己谋私利是件很恶心的事
Think about what a school could have done with that money.
想想这笔钱给学校 学校能做多少事
They could have bought four frogs.
他们能买四只青蛙啊
Not only did Lincoln Chafee use taxpayer money to buy frogs.
而且林肯·查菲不仅用纳税人的钱买了青蛙
He also spent it on toboggans as gifts for government employees.
还拿这些钱给他的同事买雪橇
Frogs and toboggans.
青蛙和雪橇啊
The scandal here isn't that Lincoln Chafee misused taxpayer money.
林肯·查菲的丑闻不在于他滥用纳税人的钱
It's that Lincoln Chafee is an 8-year-old boy.
而在于林肯·查菲的心理年龄只有八岁
Frogs and toboggans sounds like something Bernie sanders would yell out instead of a cuss word.
青蛙和雪橇听起来像是伯尼·桑德斯生气时喊出的话 如果他不说脏话的话
Do you know what I mean? He stubs his toe, awww, frogs and toboggans!
你们知道我的意思吗 他脚踢到什么东西时 啊 青蛙和雪橇
Awww, frogs and toboggans!
啊 青蛙和雪橇
But the weirdest political story today comes out of a town in Alaska called North Pole,
但今天最诡异的政治新闻发生在阿拉斯加一个叫做北极的镇上
where they just elected—and this is real, a man named Santa Claus to their city council.
他们选了——这是真事儿 一个叫做圣诞老人的人去参加市议会
Look at that. Yeah, I know. I wonder what it takes to get things done in that town.
看看 很好奇在这个镇上要做什么事的话需要付出什么代价
Do you have to sit on his lap?
要坐在他腿上吗
For Christmas I would like you to fix the potholes on colgate drive.
圣诞节要来了 要把科尔盖特路上的坑修一下
But he didn't just run because his name is Santa Claus.
但他赢得选票并不是因为他的名字叫做圣诞老人
He actually ran on a platform to legalize marijuana. Yeah.
而是因为它支持大麻合法化
So it is official. It's official.
所以还是政治原因 嗯
Santa Claus is pro-weed.
圣诞老人就是早期大麻
And you would be too, if you had to eat 7 billion cookies in one night.
如果你们一晚上吃70亿片饼干的话 你们也是
Thank you. Thank you very much.
感谢收看