真诚恳切地对亲近的人说一声“I love you”可以使你变得tough-minded（柔韧，有耐心且平易近人），而同时会使得到你关心的人变得tough-minded（坚强）。但许多时候，这么简单的三个字却是难以出口的。因为我们常常会问：二者之间真有那么大的关系吗？本文的主人公Big Ed就是经历了这样一个思想斗争过程…… 　　

When I arrived in the city to present a seminar on Tough-Minded Management, a small group of people took me to dinner to brief me on the people I would talk to the next day. 　

The obvious leader of the group was Big Ed, a large burly man with a deep rumbling voice. At dinner he informed me that he was a troubleshooter for a huge international organization. His job was to go into certain divisions or subsidiaries to terminate the employment of the executive in charge.

* brief：我们都知道brief表示“短暂的”、“简短的”等意思，是形容词用法。而在本文里，显而易见，它用做动词。那么怎么讲呢？brief用做动词的意思是“向……介绍基本情况”。在本文中，主人就邀请作者参加晚宴，并把第二天要听讨论会的人介绍给他。 * burly ：是“高大结实的”、“率直的”等意思。

* rumble：“发出隆隆的声音”的意思。由burly和rumble可以看出，本文的主人公Big Ed是一个粗犷而率直的人。他又高又壮，声音洪亮，给人的第一印象肯定是，这个人不好惹，可不能犯错啊。难怪会让他当troubleshooter（纠纷调停人）呢！这样那些troublemakers（惹是生非者）就该收敛一些了。 　

"Joe," he said, "I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because all of the guys need to listen to a tough guy like you. They're gonna find out that my style is the right one." He grinned and winked. 　

I smiled. I knew the next day was going to be different from what he was anticipating. 　

The next day he sat impassively all through the seminar and left at the end without saying anything to me.

* wink：“眨眼”的意思，Big Ed还是一个童心未泯的人呢！

* impassive：“无动于衷的”、“面无表情的”等意思，除了在会上impassive以外，Big Ed甚至在作者演讲过后都没打一声招呼。为什么会这样？是作者讲的不精彩吗？看完全文就知道了。

Three years later I returned to that city to present another management seminar to approximately the same group. Big Ed was there again. At about ten o'clock he suddenly stood up and asked loudly, "Joe, can I say something to these people?" 　

I grinned and said, "Sure, When anybody is as big as you are, Ed, he can say anything he wants." 　

Big Ed went on to say, "All of you guys know me and some of you know what's happened to me. I want to share it, however, with all of you. Joe, I think you'll appreciate it by the time I've finished. 　

"When I heard you suggest that each of us, in order to become really tough-minded, needed to learn to tell those closest to us that we really loved them, I thought it was a bunch of sentimental garbage. I wondered what in the world that had to do with being tough. You had said toughness is like leather, and hardness is like granite, that the tough mind is open, resilient, disciplined and tenacious. But I couldn't see what love had to do with it.

* sentimental garbage：sentimental表示“情感的”、“感伤的”等意思，而garbage是“垃圾”的意思，Big Ed认为作者讲的只是让人激动一会罢了，没有什么大的用处。大家想想，和亲近的人讲I love you怎么就会变得tough-minded（意志坚强）呢？

* granite：“花岗岩”、“花岗石”的意思。toughness给人的感觉就象皮革，柔而韧，亲切而坚韧不拔。而hardness就象花岗岩，硬硬的，让人难受而不敢靠近。

* resilience：“弹性”、“适应力”的意思。resilient是它的形容词形式。

* tenacious：“顽强的”，总之，a tough-minded person兼具resilience和tenacious，柔和坚两种品格。可是，所有这些和love有什么关系呢？请听下回分解！