I can't do this.
我受不了了。
Why are you so frustrated?
你火什么火？
Because I've never had any obstacles to overcome.
因为从来就没有什么困难需要我克服。
Oh, honey, that's not true. Really? Name one.
亲爱的 可不是这样的。是吗？举个例。
You're lactose-intolerant.
你有乳糖不耐受症。
Oh, "Dear college, cheese makes me gassy. See you in September."
哦，"亲爱的大学，奶酪让我屁多多。9月见。"
Sweetie, you're not really starting your essays "Dear college," Are you?
亲爱的，你该不会把"亲爱的大学"作为你论文的开头吧？

What difference does it make? I've lived a boring, sheltered, pathetic life.
那又怎么了？我活在你们的庇护下，日子无聊而苦逼。
I am sorry we have made things too easy and comfortable for you.
让你日子过得太滋润了，真是对不起啊。
Oh, you should be! It is all your fault! You have shielded me from everything interesting and dangerous!
你应该道歉！都是你的错！你老是护着我，任何有趣和危险的事情都不让我去干！
You are blaming me because I kept you from getting hurt?
你是在指责我保护你不受伤害吗？
Gaby's mom's a hoarder. That essay practically writes itself.
加布的妈妈是收藏癖。她写论文就毫无障碍。
Maybe it is our fault. But did you ever consider there's a reason?
可能是我们的错。但是你有没有想过原因？
What are you talking about?
你在说什么？
There's a reason why we were so easy on you.
我们对你那么娇惯是有原因的。
I don't understand.
我迷糊了。
Oh, honey, you're old enough now.
亲爱的，你已经不小了。
Old enough for what?
什么不小了？
The truth. Okay, come on. Gotta show you somethin'. We're gonna go for a ride.
该告诉你真相了。跟我来 给你看样东西。我们要开车去。
Mom, just tell me. You are my mom, right?
妈，跟我说就是了嘛。你是我亲妈，对吧？
I'm a bad man.
我是个坏人。
Oh, no. What did you eat?
哦，不。你吃啥了？
Mitchell, remember the girl I met last night?
米奇尔，记得昨天晚上那女孩吗？
How can I forget her? She's super famous for having the world's worst gay-dar.
终身难忘啊？她的"辨基能力"全世界倒数第一。
How could I be so cavalier with her emotions? You know, we had a real connection.
我怎么能无视她的感情呢？你知道我们心有灵犀。
She gave me her number, and right now she's probably sitting by the phone waiting for me to call.
她把电话给了我，现在她很可能坐在电话旁边等我的电话。
I don't think you understand how charmed she was by me.
我觉得你不懂我让她多着迷。
Oh, my god. Where did you get all this self-confidence?
老天。你这自信从哪里来的？
I won cutest baby at the 1974 Jasper County Fair. People at the time said I could go Gerber.
1974年的杰斯珀集市会上我赢得了最可爱宝宝奖。（嘉小宝：着名婴儿用品嘉宝公司的卡通形象）那时人们说我像嘉小宝。
You know what? I'm calling her. What?
我决定了，我要打电话给她。什么？
No, I can't carry this around. I have to come clean so she can move on with her life.
不行，我不能一直拖着。我得跟她说实话让她放下我。
This is crazy. She is not waiting--
这太疯狂了。人家才不会等......