I don't see anything in here a woman would want.
我看这没有什么女人想要的。
You're kidding. You've got lotions and bath oils and soaps. that's the estrogen hat trick.
开玩笑吧。这里有身体乳液，沐浴精油，香皂，简直是雌激素的帽子戏法。
What it is is a cacophonous assault of eucalyptus, bayberry, cinnamon and vanilla.
我看是山寨版发音的尤加利属植物，月桂树的果实，肉桂和香草
It's as if my head were trapped in the pajamas of a sultan.
就好像我的头卡到土耳其皇帝的睡衣里面一样。
Sheldon, if you don't like this stuff, let's just go next door and build her a bear.
谢尔顿，如果你不喜欢这些东西，我们去隔壁给她做个填充玩具熊也行。
I told you before, bears are terrifying.
告诉过你，我害怕熊。
Come on, bath stuff. It's perfect! You got a scented candle, a cleansing buff, spearmint and green tea scented bath oil, promotes relaxation.
拜托，沐浴用品，完美的选择。这里有香氛蜡烛，洗面扑，薄荷和绿茶味的沐浴精油，放松身心。
That presupposes Penny is tense. She knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a basket!
前提假设是佩妮身心紧张。她认识你能不紧张么。我们都紧张，买个礼品篮。
Excuse me, we're ready. No, we're not.
您好，我们选好了。我们还没选好。
Let's say for a moment that I accept the bath item gift hypothesis, I now lay the following conundrum at your feet: Which size?
假设我同意接受买洗浴礼品的提议，我现在要给你丢出一个难题，买多大的？
This one. Let's go. You put no thought into that. I'm sorry. Uh...this one. Let's go!
就这个，我们走。你想都没想过。不好意思就这个，我们走。
I have insufficient data to proceed. Excuse me, Miss? Yes?
我没有足够的数据进行分析。不好意思小姐。什么事？
If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone and no other data,
如果我送给你这个礼物篮，根据这个行为本身，如果没有其他数据，
infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
请推断并描述我们之间的假定关系。
Excuse me? Here. Now, are we friends? Colleagues? Lovers? Are you my grandmother?
你说什么？这里。我们是朋友么？同事还是情人？你是我的祖母么？
I don't understand what you're talking about and you're making me a little uncomfortable.
我不明白你在说什么，不过你让我觉得有点不爽。
See? Sounds just like you and Penny. We'll take it.
看到没，就像你和佩妮。我们就要这个了。
Hey, Leonard. Come, join us. Oh, hey, Dave. And Penny, what a surprise.
莱纳德，过来一块儿坐。哦。嘿戴维。还有佩妮，你也在这。
Hey, Leonard. Dave was just showing me around the university. You know, this place is unbelievable!
嘿莱纳德。戴维刚刚带我在校园里逛了逛，你知道么，这个地方真是妙不可言。
Yeah, I know. I've been offering to show you around for a year and a half.
我当然知道。这一年半我一直说要带你来看看。
You always said you had yoga. I never said that.
你总是说你要去练瑜伽。我从没说过。
Maybe I heard you wrong. A lot of words sound like "yoga."
可能我听错了，有很多词听起来像瑜伽。
This is an amazing woman, Leonard. She has a curious and agile mind, not to mention being curious and agile in other respects. Yes, please shut up.
莱纳德，这真是一个奇妙的女人，她的思想敏捷又有求知欲，更不用提她其他敏捷而奇特的方面了。没错，闭嘴吧。
So, um, Dave, don't you think you and I should get back to the lab?
那么戴维，我们是不是该回实验室干活了？
You know, that dark matter isn't going to detect itself.
你知道暗物质是不会去自己发现自己的。
Actually, I was thinking about taking the afternoon off so I could work on another experiment with Penny.
我正想下午请个假，然后和佩妮做个别的实验。
Really? We' re going to do an experiment?
我们去做实验？
Uhhuh. We're going to explore the effects of tequila shots on a gorgeous 22 year old woman.
我们去试试龙舌兰酒在一个22岁尤物身上会有什么作用。
It's not an experiment! You saw what happened last night. You ready to go? Yeah.
那不是实验，再说你昨晚也见到会发生什么了。走么？好。
Oh, can I drive the motorcycle? Yeah, why not? You can't do any worse than Leonard.
我能骑摩托车吗？可以，有什么不行的？你肯定不会比莱纳德开得更糟。
By the way, my leg is killing me. Thanks for asking.
顺便说一句，我的腿疼死了。谢谢关心。
Mmm, great news, Leonard. I've solved my Penny gift dilemma. Yippee.
大新闻莱纳德，我已经解决了送佩妮礼物的两难困境了。我好高兴哦。
You see, the danger was that I might under or overreciprocate, but I have devised a fool proof plan.
你想啊，我可能会送得过于好或过于寒碜，但我已经想出了一个很简单的点子。
See, I will open her gift to me first and then excuse myself, feigning digestive distress.
我先打开她给我的礼物，接着假装消化不良借故离开。
Then I'll look up the price of her gift online, choose the basket closest to that value, give it to her and then I'll return the others for a full refund.
然后我会上网查她送的礼物的价格，从篮子里选一样价格最接近的东西送给她，最后我把剩下来的以全价退回去。
Brilliant. It is, isn't it?
真聪明啊。的确如此。
Is it okay if I hide them in your room? The smell makes me nauseated.
我可以把这些东西藏在你房间里吗？这气味让我想吐。
Do whatever you want. Thank you, that's very gracious.
随便你怎么弄啦。谢谢，你真是太高尚了。
Gentlemen? Why couldn't you have just done what Leonard did and get Penny a new boyfriend?
绅士们？你为什么不做莱纳德才做的事情，给佩妮介绍个男朋友？
My leg is killing me. Thanks for asking.
我的腿疼死了。谢谢关心。
Okay, I have just one question for you.
我只有一个问题想问你
While I am perfectly happy with the way things are between us, you said that you didn't want to go out with me because I was too smart for you!
当我很开心的和你在一起的时候，你说你不想和我约会，只是因为我对你来说太聪明了。
Well, news flash, lady David Underhill is ten times smarter than me!
那好吧，新闻来了女士，戴维?安德希尔比我聪明十倍。
You'd have to drive a railroad spike into his brain for me to beat him at checkers!
对我来说，你得把一个道钉钉进他脑子里我才能在国际跳棋中打败他。
Next to him, I'm like one of those signlanguage gorillas who knows how to ask for grapes!
和他相比，我比较像那些打手语的大猩猩之一，只知道怎么要葡萄。
So, my question is... What's up with that? !
所以，我的问题是...我聪明又怎么了啊？
Why are you yelling at me?
你干嘛对我大吼大叫啊？
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Never mind, we're cool.
对不起对不起对不起。别介意，我们没事了。
Dave is not smarter than you. He's an idiot.
戴维并没有你聪明。他是个白痴。
Really? Why would you say that?
真的吗，你为什么这么说啊？
Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend.
因为聪明的人会把他老婆的裸照从手机里删了，在他打算把他女朋友的裸照存进手机之前。
He tried to take nude photos of you?
他打算给你拍裸照吗？
That's what you took from that? ! The guy is married! Oh, yeah. I'm so Oh, that's terrible.
你就听到了这个？这家伙已经结婚了。噢是的。对不起，那真是太糟糕了。
And you, if you are so okay with the way things are between us, why are you so jealous?
而你，如果你和我约会的时候是很开心的，你干嘛这么嫉妒啊？
The important thing is he's married and that's terrible!
重要的是他已经结婚了，而且这太糟糕了。
Nice save, genius. Egg nog? Lactose.
球救得好啊，天才啊。蛋酒要吗？我不能吃乳糖。
It's just rum. It stopped being eggnog like half an hour ago.
里面只有朗姆酒。在半小时前里面就已经不是蛋酒了。
Smooth. Smoother than you.
很好喝啊。比你更味美啊。
Come on, it's Christmas, just give me this one. Okay, Merry Christmas.
拜托，现在是圣诞节，就这么对我啊？好吧，圣诞快乐。
By the way, my leg is killing me. Thanks for asking.
顺便提一句，我的腿疼死了。谢谢关心。
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. How's your leg? Very good, thanks for asking. Come on in.
圣诞快乐。圣诞快乐。你的腿怎么样了？很好，谢谢关心，进来吧。
Ah, good, Penny, you're here to exchange gifts.
哦真棒，佩妮，你来和我交换礼物了。
You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer. Okay, here.
当你知道无论你送什么我都有相应的准备着，你会很高兴的。好的，给你。
I should note I'm having some digestive distress, so, if I excuse myself abruptly, don't be alarmed.
我要声明一下，我现在有些消化不良，所以如果我突然离开，不要惊异。
Oh, a napkin. Turn it over. To Sheldon, live long and prosper. Leonard Nimoy.
噢，一条餐巾。把它翻过来。送给谢尔顿，多福多寿。莱纳德?尼莫哀致
Yeah, he came into the restaurant. Sorry the napkin is dirty. He wiped his mouth with it.
是的，他来饭馆，很抱歉餐巾脏了，他用它擦过嘴了。
I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy? !
我有莱纳德?尼莫哀的DNA了？
Yeah, yeah. I guess. But look, he signed it.
是，是的，我想是这样的。但是看哪，他还在上面签名了。
Do you realize what this means? !
你难道没有意识到这意味着什么吗？
All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!
我只需要一颗健康的卵子就可以培育出我的莱纳德?尼莫哀了！
Okay, all I'm giving you is the napkin, Sheldon. Be right back. Here. Open it.
好吧，我给你的只是餐巾而已谢尔顿。我马上回来。给你的，打开吧。
Oh, a gift certificate for motorcycle lessons. Very thoughtful.
噢，一份摩托车课程的及格证书真会体贴人啊。
Yeah, and I checked. Not letting the bike fall on you while standing still is lesson one.
是啊，而且我查过了，第一课就是车还在原地没动的时候不让你从车上摔下来。
Oh, then, I think you'll appreciate what I got you.
噢那么，我想你看到我送你的东西你会很感动的。
101 Totally Cool Science Experiments for Kids.
献给孩子们的最酷的101个科学实验。
You know, 'cause you're so into science. Sheldon! What did you do? ! I know! It's not enough, is it?
你知道吗，因为你如此迷恋科学。谢尔顿你干了什么啊？我知道！这些还不够对吗？
Here. Leonard, look! Sheldon is hugging me. It's a Saturnalia miracle.
来。莱纳德看哪，谢尔顿在抱我呢。这是农神节的奇迹啊。