Oh, Ross, Mon, is it ok if I bring someone to your parent's anniversary party?
罗斯，莫妮卡。我可以带人去参加你爸妈的结婚周年派对吗？
Sure. Sure. Yeah.
没问题。 好啊。
Who's the guy?
你要带谁去？
Well, his name is Parker, and I met him at the drycleaner's.
他叫派克，我们在洗衣店里认识的。
Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers?
他在你外套里放了点浆糊吗？
Who said that?
那是谁说的？
Yeah, he's really great though.
不是，但他人真的很棒。
He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
他对生命异常热忱。他把我当女王一样对待。不过他晚上在床上会把我当作淘气少女。
Oh, by the way. Would it be ok if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
对了，今年由我来向爸妈致辞可以吗？
Yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
经历过20周年纪念日的意外后，你还是想吗？
Yeah. I'd really like to.
我真的很想。
Okay, hopefully this time Mom won't boo you.
希望这次妈不会嘘你。
Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it's always really moving, and always makes them cry.
太好了！每年都是罗斯致词，他的话总能把大家感动得痛哭流涕。
Well this year I'm gonna make them cry.
今年，我要把他们弄哭。
And you you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
你还不知道他们为什么最爱罗斯吗？
No, really. Any time Ross makes a toast, everyone cries and hugs him and pats him on the back.
不是，只要罗斯一致词大家都会哭着拥抱他，拍他的背。
And they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." You know what they're gonna say this year? "God, you."
他们都会走过来跟我说，"天啊，你哥哥。"你知道今天他们今年会怎么说吗？"天啊，你。"
Well, I can promise you, at least one person will be crying.
我向你保证至少有一个人会哭。
You know, I'm an actor, and any actor worth his salt can cry on cue.
我是演员，每个称职的演员都是想哭就哭。
Really? You can do that?
真的吗？你做得到吗？
Oh, you kidding me? Watch.
开什么玩笑？看着。
Well, I can't do it with you guys watching me!
你们都盯着我看，我哭不出来！
What are you doing? I'm working on my toast for the party.
你在做什么？ 我在写我的演讲稿。
Or as I like to call it: "Sob fest 2002."
我称之为"2002年最佳催泪弹"。
Hey, check this out. It's a dog.
你看。 是只小狗。
It's a dead dog. That's Chi Chi. She died when I was in high school.
是只死狗。这是琪琪，在我高中时死掉了。
It's your parents' anniversary and you're going to talk about their dead pet?
你要在父母的结婚纪念日上谈一只死狗吗？
It's good stuff, huh?
这个素材不错吧
Hi! Hey! Hey!
嗨。 嗨。 嗨。
Joey? You got a present for my parents? That's so sweet.
乔伊，你准备好要送我爸妈的礼物了吗？真贴心。
Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
是啊，为了纪念他们结婚35周年，我用他们的名字为一颗星星命名。
That is so cool.
那简直太酷了。
And I got them a book on Kama Sutra for the Elderly.
我还给他们买了老年人的性爱宝典。
Do you guys have any extra ribbon?
你们有多余的缎带吗？
Oh, yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt...And I think my testicles may be in here too.
当然有。你要什么样的？我们有蕾丝、缎子、棉缎酒椰纤维、条纹布、毛毡……我想我的蛋蛋应该也放在这里了。
Chi Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! You know well Monica couldn't get braces because Chi Chi needed knee surgery.
琪琪！我爱死这只狗了。莫妮卡没装牙套是因为琪琪得动膝盖手术。
What? You're the 200 pounder 11 year old who rode her!
什么？就是你这个两百磅的大胖子骑着它到处跑的！
Hey! Everybody, this is Parker. Parker, this is...
大伙们，他是派克。派克，这是……
No, no, no wait! Don't tell me. Let me guess. Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, I'm sorry Phoebe didn't mention you.
不，别告诉我。让我猜猜。乔伊，莫妮卡，罗斯，瑞秋，对不起菲比没有提过你。
Chandler, I'm kidding all righty you're my favorite!
钱德勒，我开玩笑呢！你已经是我的最爱了。
Why don't all of you tell me a little about yourselves?
跟我谈谈你们自己的事吧。
Ah, actually, I'm sorry we we probably should get going.
事实上我们该走了。
Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, look how you glow. May I?
典型的罗斯作风。瑞秋，你好漂亮，我可以吗？
I think you already are.
我想你已经不请自来了。
Rachel, you have life growing inside you.
瑞秋，你体内孕育着一个小生命。
Is there anything in this world more miraculous than...Oh a picture of a dog! Whose is this?
这世上还有什么更神奇…… 一张狗狗照片，这是谁的狗？
That's my old dog. He he passed away years ago.
那是我家以前养的狗。它已经死了。
Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow wow, old friend. Bow wow.
至少你很幸运能拥有它。汪汪，我的老朋友，汪汪。
So where's the party?
派对在哪里举行？
It's out on the island. It's in Massapequa.
在岛上的马沙皮卡。
Massapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steeped in Native American history?
马沙皮卡听起来像个神奇的地方。跟我介绍一下吧，它是美国原住民历史上的名胜吗？
Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a teepee.
那里有原住民帐篷形状的艾比餐厅。
OK I've got my note cards.
我拿了题词卡。
You got the presents? Yeah.
你拿礼物了吗？ 拿了。
And I've got the car keys. We're driving?
我拿车钥匙了。 我们要开车吗？
Yeah. Aces.
对。 太棒了。
So he seems like a nice guy. Yeah, yeah, I like him a lot.
他似乎是个好人。 对，我很喜欢他。
You wanna hang back and take our own cab?
你想拖延一会去搭计程车吗？
Yeah, otherwise I'm not going.
当然，不然我就不去了。
Hey, Mom. This is such a great party!
妈。 这个派对简直太棒了！
Thirty five years. Very impressive. Do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?
三十五年，令人佩服。你们有什么婚姻的至理名言吗？
Jack? Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick?
杰克？ 食物上为什么要插这么尖的牙签？
It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question.
这个问题不错，爸爸，这个问题不错。
Congratulations, you two. Thank you, we're so excited.
恭喜你们。 谢谢，我们很兴奋。
And also, congratulations on your wedding.
还要恭喜你们结婚了。
Can can we talk to you for just a you know...Hey It's it's just a little thing.
我们能跟你们谈一下吗？这只是件小事。
Well we think it's simply marvelous that you're having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open minded.
我们觉得你们未婚生子完全没有问题，但我们有些朋友思想没有那么开放。
Which is why we told them you're married. What?
所以我们告诉他们你们结婚了。 什么？
Thanks for going along with this.
谢谢你们愿意配合。
Dad, we have to pretend that we're married?
爸，我们得假装我们结婚了吗？
Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
儿子，我为了今晚专门剃了耳毛。这件事你也能做到。
Can you believe that? Yeah, I know.
你能相信吗？ 就是啊。
If you're gonna do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nosal area.
既然剃了耳毛，就不能连鼻毛一起处理一下吗？
No, no. I don't wanna have to lie about us being married.
我不想撒谎说我们结婚了。
No, I know. I don't either. But you know what? It's their party, and it's one night. We don't even have to lie. We just won't say anything.
我也不想。但这是他们的派对，而且仅此一晚而己。我们不必说谎，我们只要不说话就行。
If it comes up again, we'll just smile, we'll nod along... Ross! Rachel?
如果有人提起，我们只要微笑点头。 罗斯！ 瑞秋！
Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan.
嗨，丽莎阿姨，丹叔叔。
Congratulations on the baby and on the wedding.
恭喜你们怀孕，还结了婚。
Here's a little something to get you started.
这算是送你们的新婚礼物。
So how's married life treating you?
你们的婚后生活过得如何？
Unbelievable. It's great! We love marriage. Great!
不可思议，太棒了！ 我们可喜欢结婚了。 太好了。
Hey. Hey!
嗨。 嗨！
What a beautiful place. What a great night.
好漂亮的地方。好棒的夜晚。
I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky.
我得告诉你们，能跟你们一起待在C宴会厅我觉得好幸运。
I think of the good times that happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs, both bar and bat!
想想这里曾有过的美好时光。生日，毕业舞会，犹太教成人礼。
But none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I don't wanna forget this moment!
但任凭什么都比不上今晚！天啊，我想铭记这个瞬间！
It's like I wanna take a mental picture of you all. Click.
我要在脑海中帮你们拍张照。咔嚓。
I don't think the flash went off.
我觉得闪光灯没开。
I'm gonna go find the men's room, be right back.
我要去趟洗手间，马上回来。
I'll go with you. Come on.
我跟你一起去。 快来。
Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
有人躲在某个地方端着麻醉枪握着大蝴蝶网 在找那个家伙。
I have to go to the bathroom too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing.
我也想上厕所但我不想让他夸奖我的小弟弟。
So glad we weren't in the car. Did he ever let up?
还好我们没在车上，他有安静的时候吗？
He called the Long Island Expressway a "concrete miracle."
他称长岛高速公路为"水泥奇迹"。
This room. This night. That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! Ooh, sorry...
这个房间，这个夜晚。那个服务生，他的鞋子！我要在脑海中拍张照！抱歉。
Were you guys making fun of Parker?
你们在取笑派克吗？
That depends, how much did you hear?
那得看你听到了多少。
He's a little enthusiastic. What's wrong with that?
他是有点狂热，可那有什么不对？
It's just that, it's so much. Well, so what? I like him.
他太过火了。 那又怎么样？我喜欢他。
Do I make fun of the people that you've dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends don't do that. But, you want my opinion?
我会取笑你们的约会对象吗？泰格、珍妮丝、蒙娜。不，因为朋友不会那么做。你们想知道我的想法吗？
Do you want it? 'Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like a who's who of human crap!
依我看来，你们的约会纪录加起来基本等同于人渣史！
I feel terrible. I know.
我觉得好内疚。 我知道。
What was wrong with Mona?
蒙娜有哪里不好？
Open it, open it, open it. Yeah, baby!
快打开快打开。 好的，宝贝。
So we never got to hear about your wedding.
我们都没听说你们举办了婚礼。
We were surprised we weren't invited.
我们很讶异自己没有受到邀请。
Oh, no, no, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
不，只有我们父母和几位亲友参加。婚礼的规模很小。
But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
但场面很美。婚礼虽小，一应俱全。
Where did you have it?
你们在哪里举行的婚礼？
On a cliff in Barbados, at sunset. And Stevie Wonder sang "Isn't She Lovely" as I walked down the aisle.
在巴巴多斯悬崖上的黄昏婚礼。我走上红毯时，史提夫·汪达唱着《她真美》。
Really? Yeah. Stevie's an old family friend.
真的吗？ 是的，史提夫是我们家的朋友。
Oh, my God. That sounds amazing.
天啊。那真的是太棒了。
I'd love to see pictures. Yeah, so would I.
我想看照片。 对，我也是。
You wouldn't think Annie Liebowitz would forget to put film in the camera.
你们不会相信安妮·莱波维兹会忘了装底片。
Would you, would you excuse us for a second? What are you doing?
请允许我们失陪一下。你这是要干什么？
What? I'm not you. This may be my only wedding I ever have.
怎么了，我又不是你。那可能是我唯一一场婚礼。
And I want it to be amazing.
我希望婚礼很精彩。 好吧。
Ok, ok. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
或许我该骑着哈雷摩托入场。
Okay. Ross, it has to be realistic.
罗斯，我们得编得现实一点。
Say, are you okay? You seem kind of quiet.
你还好吗？你一直不太讲话。
No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you.
我没事，我很好，我跟你在一起。
And I'm with you. What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate bouncy thing.
而我跟你在一起，活着真好看看这个送盘器。
What an inspired solution to man's plate dispensing problems.
这是个天才发明，解决了盘子分发的问题。